One More Time [Part 2]

10th Member

[IN MY HOUSE]

My mom didn't talk too much on the way home. She just sat there and playing something on her phone. Nayeon and Jihyo tried to talk with her a little bit but she didn't respond to them properly. Instead, she ordered them to stop by here and there like a boss. Huh, I was so embarrassed and annoyed! Right now, Nayeon and Jihyo wait in the living room while I'm preparing the food we just bought for my mom.

I come to her room. "The food is ready."
She looks at me and coming out of the room. "Can you be such a nice daughter to me just for once?! Always so rude."
"I wonder from who I learn it....."
"Huh, what a dumb girl" It's her most favorite nickname for me. She calls me like that since I was a kid.
I'm taking a glass in the kitchen and pour water into it. Then gives it to her who has started eating. "Haneul will visit you tonight to take care of you, but I don't think he can stay for a long time. So do I. I will visit you once my schedule is over," I explain the plan for her.
"I like Haneul more than you," she gives me a short answer and then continues her lunch.
I take a deep breath. "I also already inform Mrs. Kim Singa that you are home. You can ask her if you need anything. Ah, you know that she is our neighbor, right?"
"Hnn!"
"Okay, I'll leave now if you don't have anything to say. Don't drink too much! Take care of yourself."
"Wait wait!" she grabs my arm. "I wanna ask you something."
"What is it?"
She drinks the glass of water I give her and speaks. "How is Twice?"
"What do you mean?"
"As difficult as I told you, right?" She grins.
"Not really. In fact, I enjoy it so much! I feel so alive living my passion. I also have a bunch of friends who care about me."
"Meh, don't lie, Dummy! I know how terrible the life as an idol is. I bet you are crying every day, right?"
"......."
"That's because deep inside your heart you are exhausted. Frustrated! You know you want to stop, but you just keep denying it." she stands up, puts her hand on my chin. "I know how weak you are, Dummy!"
I push her hand. "You know nothing about me!!!"
"SHUT UP AND JUST QUIT BEING AN IDOL!!!" She yells so loud.
I'm startled. My eyes start to get teary again. 
"YOU NEVER HAVE MY PERMISSION, YOU KNOW?!"
"Why can't you just let your daughter be happy??? Just for once........"
"JUST FIND A RICH HUSBAND QUICKLY, LIVE AT HOME, AND FEED YOUR MOM!"
"IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU! YOU NEVER WANT TO UNDERSTAND ME," I yell back.
"BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB! AND WEAK. NO ONE LIKES YOU!"
"SHUT UP!!!" Tears are flowing on my cheek.
"SEE? WEAKLING!!!"
"Shut up........"
"HUH, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! GO PLAY WITH THOSE S. I DON'T NEED A WEAK DAUGHTER LIKE YOU."
I immediately leave the kitchen. I don't have time to wipe my tears. I take my things and go to the living room. I find Jihyo and Nayeon are shocked with what they just heard. I open the door roughly. "Let's get out of here!"

***

[OUTSIDE THE BUILDING]

As usual, Once and all the photographers are already waiting for us. What different this time is I'm feeling so terrible right now. Nayeon keeps whispering the sad stories to make me cry, just like what Mina did to me a few minutes ago. But I'm controlling my emotions. At one time, she stops and says to me,"Forget it! I know you how to hate your mother."

I'm stunned.

"I know what you will feel if she dies one day. You will be feeling relieved instead, won't you?"

That's...... So true.

"That person... Someone who always gets you into the problems. A troublesome that you have no idea how to handle."

People are taking pictures of us. I try to keep smiling.

"I bet she doesn't support your dream to be an idol. You were so alone in pursuing your dream. You were struggling because of her. Maybe so is your brother. Your mother treats him so badly....."

How can Nayeon know all of that? Is she just guessing them out?

"....She used to fight your father when he was still alive. Both of them argued a lot. Your mom didn't want to relent. He was a nice man and protected you and your brother. Now that he has gone, your mom becomes more ignorant and arrogant. And nothing you cannot do except..... hating her."

I'm still smiling.....

".....And when she dies, you will think someone who gives you the biggest pressure in your life has left. You'll remember how bad she treats you and your brother. How bad the words she uses to both of you. I'm sorry to say this, but I know when she's gone, you'll be happy. You and your brother can finally live in peace....."

How Nayeon whispering to me looks like she is telling something funny. She laughs a little bit so people think that she is just chatting with me. She is pretending to say something nice, but she is not. Anyway, now Twice is coming into our van. Nayeon makes me sit near the window, the closest to the cameras.

"....Without your mom, you and your brother will be free to pursue your dreams. You will live happily ever after. Remember how mean she is to you. Remember how relieving it will be to lose her......."

I don't know if I still can hold it anymore. I know I'm making a weird smile right now. I'm this close to crying. I can't control myself anymore, but... I really can't let people see me cry.

Nayeon embraces my shoulders. "Let it go, Haeju.... Just cry... It's fine. Throw away all the burden in your heart...."

I'm holding it so hard........

"Yeah, hold it, Ju. Hold it! You are an idol. Straight your back, pull your mouth, and make a wide smile. You cannot cry in front of the fans! In front of people who love you. You cannot let them know what you truly feel....."

I can't hold it anymore. That's it!

".....Pretend that you are happy at any time."

A tear comes out from the edge of my eye. I close the window hurriedly and whisper back to her. Remember this, Nayeon.....

 

 

 

.....This will be the last time I cry.

(to be continued)

 

 

 


((author's note)) To be honest, this story is based on my life. Not 100%, of course. But I feel kinda relieved after writing it, especially part 3. I can't believe it becomes more than one chapter. So long T.T I just don't want to make a chapter more than 2000 words, so I divide it. I hope you can finish it :p Enjoy~

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
ahnhaeju
The end. Thanks all for reading until the very last chapter :)

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
YaniPiplup2005 #1
Chapter 167: I LOVE IT HAEJUUUUUU!!!!!!
K-Reader28 #2
Chapter 161: Please don’t tell me this is the actual ending. I’m in literal tears 😭 from this.
LittleMina2003
#3
Chapter 157: Author nim made me cry bc all of us ONCEs miss Mina so much :(
chaellax
14 streak #4
Chapter 156: Awh
dh_pram
#5
Chapter 153: What the!??
Ternyata orang indo wkwkwk
drunk_bunny #6
Chapter 151: Hmm for QnA, through the first chapter up to your latest chapter, did some of those happened to you in real life???
And for haeju, by only choosing your members, who is your ideal type based on their personality and why?? ≧∇≦
LittleMina2003
#7
Chapter 151: Will there be sequels to this fanfic?
LittleMina2003
#8
Chapter 148: I re read after I saw my name on there and it's so good