A bip is heard from my door, it is opened by someone, one of those I know closely of course. Only few people know the code of my door. I turn to my clock again. It's a bit late, almost 10 p.m. Who could it be? My mom or dad? But they are not in Korea right now.. Couldn't be a robber or something, right?

Putting my half-drunk water on the kitchen counter, I walk out to the door taking a little glimpse of a silhouette. I just see the back of a tall man, but before I can say anything, this person has moved really fast and later on I can only see the fabric of his grey shirt and hear his heart beating. His breath is hard, he seems to be really tired and passes all his fatigue into his hug on me, making us stumbled back a bit so I round my hands on his back to support myself, ready for the possible fall. I know he'll make me safe in his arms even if it actually really does happen, and thankfully, it doesn't. He has placed his head on my shoulder, and he has tightens his hold on me so I let him be. 

There're only a few rare of this same situations happened in the past, really rare. For someone who is always looking carefree and calm, never really shows his emotional self, when he does this, it will only be one of those times that have really drained him inside out, well mostly inside.

The first time it happened really caught me off-guard. It was something beyond my imagination, I had never thought he'd do that. We both were a bunch of friends connected by our friendline, chatting and hanging out together-occasionally spending holidays together. We had never really talked privately together without the others, just once or twice when I didn't drive and he took me home, or when we happened to come early, spending the time while waiting for the others. But I know we're getting closer each day and it's been years already...

I was so surprised and speechless at that time, and we were frozen in almost the same position as now for like fifteen minutes or so. I didn't ask why, decided to just wait for he himself opened up and told me the story behind his sudden act. But he didn't say anything, and I took that as a sign that he wasn't ready to tell about it or even maybe didn't want to. Therefore, I just let him sit and order something for us to eat.

The first hour was filled with silence, I focused myself to the television in the awkward situation and aftef a while he finally smiled a bit and said sorry. I smiled back, telling him that I was just surprised, but then I also assured him that it was okay. The rest of the day was spent by lots of random talks and me getting a new PS4. We were actually talking about his love for games when we decided to head out and spontaniously bought and brought one back, having him set it up and taught me how to play for hours. I didn't remember when it was ended, all I know was when I woke up, he had placed me on my bed with a note on my nightstand saying his gratitude and that he had to go. He also said he's sorry for not being able to say goodbye properly.

After the first and the rest, I take it as an honour that he eventually choose me to at least share his down time a little. Knowing that at least we're slightly better than just some random friends, that he has cinsidered me as one of those close to him. Now all I can do first is patting his back gently, a few times, and just burry myself on his chest. Have I told you that he's tall? Well, he is really, really tall. In addition, I like his smell too haha.. For a person with a little posture like me, it feels really comfortable to be in his arms. I just feel so, but then I realize that it takes longer than usual, this is the longest one, so I think he's facing something really tough. 

"Sorry.. I-" his voices is a bit restrained since he still buries his face on my shoulder.

I nod, but I guess he cannot see it so I say it's fine. 

"Just.. Just a minute more.." he added.

The tone of his voice really shows me, gives me a clear hint of what he's feeling right now and it brings out my tears. What is happening? I try to recall all the news I've heard and all his activities so far. He's super busy I know, but no matter how hard and tiring it is, if it's just work-related matter, I doubt it. Even if he doesn't show how passionate he is, he really is-way more than anyone can know. Then something crosses my mind. Could it be? 

"Sorry." he said again, this time letting me go.

Now I can see that his eyes are red and teary, but he never cries in front of me. I take his hand and lead him to the living room, playfully pushing him down to the big sofa.

"Did you leave your lugagge in your car?" I ask while heading back to the kitchen.

"I ask manager hyung to bring them home at the airport." he answered.

"Huh? So how do you get here?" I ask again.

"Taxi." he replied.

I shrug and smile, it is not the first. So I guess it's time for me to take out the wine. It is funny that I have it when I don't like drinking at all. Well, I just save it for he and my friends if they come and decide to stay longer or have diner together here. I take a bottle, a glass for him, and my half-filled glass, refill it, and I take them back to the living room, finding him half laying on the the sofa.

I bet he's so tired, they have just finished their activity in Japan. I'm sure they'll go back there again for more schedules, but maybe they are given some times to take a break. Well, he has never stayed overnight alone here, except when we're together with our friends. The last occasion I told you before is an exception, since I don't even know if he even actually slept.

"Have you eaten?" 

He turns his eyes hearing my question and smiles when he sees what I've brought for him and gets up. Pouring some on his glass, he lifts the glass at me, making a toss and meanwhile, I try to read his face. I have one thing in mind of what could be the reason why, but I will never say or ask for  any confirmation about it. 

"Okay, let's order something!" I said, taking my phone on the table.

"I'm okay. I'm not hungry. And you should try to start cooking."

"Who said that it's for you? I want some spicy chickens!" I beamed.

He just smiles again a bit, and pours some more wine into his glass. I dial the number and make the order, heading back to the kitchen after that to take some juice for me and a bucket of ice cream also some strawberries. When I put them on the table, he just stares at them. Well, he will usually tease me or say something bad jokingly, but he doesn't do it at this moment. Honestly it makes me really worry. Turning on the DVD, I play the movie I've planned to watch just to distract my nosy self and keep my mouth shutted.

"Seriously?" He stated, raising his eyebrows.

"What? It's a great movie and I've planned to watch it before you came." I said, pretending to be offended.

"Jurassic World?" He turns to me with the look, one I know very well.

"I like dinosaurs!" I pout, but then I hear him chuckling.

It makes me a bit relieve by hearing that. Oh, if he's here, then..

"Did he go back with you together?"

"He did. But he said that he wanted to visit his parents." He answered.

"I see.. I heard that the tour was a big success. See, I've told you! You're still one of the best there. They are still rooting for you both. And I have heard all the songs, they're perfect."

"Thanks."

I take the ice cream and scope some with the strawberry. It tastes good and more refreshing that way. I offer some for him and he does the same. I put the strawberries between us while still holding the ice cream in my hand. I do it on purpose so that I can still see his face when he turns to scope some of it. I just really need to see how he is feeling now, has he felt better? But the heaviness is still there in his eyes. What can I do to at least ease his problem a little bit? 

"I'll be fine, don't worry." he said.

Did he see it written on my face?

"I just need a time before I meet him again. I cannot face him like this, I just cannot add his burden even more." he further said.

I look at him deep. He seems to be calm, more better than a few minutes ago. The long