KWONS

When you lie, it’s the trust that’s at stake. You can or cannot bring it back again.

One of the hardest things of being a mother is you always have to be in between. In between your husband and your children. There are times when you can feel a tinge of loneliness, for there are moments wherein you feel like it’s just you trying your hardest to keep everything in place, to keep things going and working fine. Your judgement has to be good. It has to be the best of all the rest, because one wrong move and your family will surely be in chaos.

After last night’s happenings, I swore to myself that I will plan well next time and condition myself first before diving in completely. I will choose my battles as well. With more than half my kids grown ups now, they can fight on their own, they don’t need me as much to fight with them. Also, this gets me out of potential fights with their Dad. At this point in our lives, I don’t think butting heads with Mr. Kwon Jiyong is healthy.

This morning is not like any other Kwon family morning. None of the kids are awake yet and it’s pretty late. Jiyong is sleeping in as well, after a long night. He got his round from me and so much more.

“Good Morning” I lazily greeted him with a tight hug and soft kisses on the cheek.

He faced me fully, pulling me really close to him, “Morning, babe”, then without any follow ups, he went back to sleep again.

With my stiff and aching body (even the living room couch isn’t in good condition anymore. One of these days, I will definitely go couch shopping, both for the living room and Jiyong’s studio), I wriggle out of his tight embrace and dragged my tired body to the kitchen. As usual, I’m the one making breakfast and you know what I’m whipping up.

“Flour…eggs…milk… " I recite the ingredients as I’m pulling them out of the fridge and pantry. “Ooohhh…bacon” I pulled it out too.

Sometimes, I can’t help but think, what else can I offer to my family for breakfast that is not in any form of a pancake? And I can’t think of anything, honestly. Jiyong and the big girls have tried changing our breakfast menu every now and then, but we’ll always go back to our original morning food staple.

“What the heck!!” I can hear my phone ringing and buzzing for some time now and I’m sure it’s pissing off Jiyong. It’s on the coffee table in the living room, so close to where he is. I have a strong feeling that it’s Cho hee, blasting my phone. Something must be up in the office.

With a whole lot of pancakes on a serving platter with bacon to match it, I arranged our dining table first before attending to my phone. I have mastered the art of multi-tasking a long time ago, but I am not in my right tune yet, so I choose to do things one after another.

“What now?” I checked my phone. Railey and Daryl are bombarding me with messages and calls. This is giving me the freaks. Something is surely up in the office. Please, don’t let it be about Max, because I swear, I’m going to kill that guy already.

FROM DARYL:

CHECK THE BIRD APP, NOW!!!

FROM RAILEY:

Sis! You’re dead meat! Answer your freakin’ phone!

FROM DARYL:

I’m telling you, better get your husband off the web world forever.

This is driving me insane!

So, to cut the chase, I called the girls. It just dawned on me that it’s Sunday, we’re off work, so the possibility of them going crazy by blasting my phone as if something huge is happening in the office is quite impossible. If it’s not about work, what is?

“Isabella is going to live like Rapunzel from now on” Daryl said the moment she picked up.

Wait.

With shaky hands, I checked Isabella’s only social media account. I have a strong feeling that she posted something about her date yesterday or maybe a reel or a story, that will surely be seen by her Dad because he follows her.

Her last post is three days ago. It’s a photo dump of the photoshoot she headed that day. Another post is a picture of her hand holding the newest YGR Teen Magazine issue with the caption, ‘Get it whilst it’s hot’.

“Go to Twitter!” Daryl’s voice is so loud, my ears are dying. “This is going to be a mess!” Railey followed, her tone alone is enough to rattle me.

“NO WAY!” is all I can say. Isabella is trending WORLDWIDE!

I’m speechless. There are no words to describe what I’m feeling right now. Last night’s play of emotions doesn’t even level to what I’m feeling now. This is completely insane!

“This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. This shouldn’t be here” I’m having a hard time completing sentences. I’m shell shocked.

Daryl sighed, “It is real. It is happening. It is there” her voice is that of a villain’s. “It seems like your whole act last night is busted, not by Jiyong, but by the media”

Media. They can really get the best of you. In the world that we chose to be in (because we married people in it), they are our ‘frenimies’ – a friend and enemy at the same time. Ever since my kids are still little, my husband and I will always beg them to leave them alone, solely because they are private people. Thing is, they will only listen for a while but still go on after. It’s a constant battle.

“This is what I keep on telling Seunghyun about. As much as we keep our children away from these people, they still find their way to them for some reason” Railey shares the same thoughts with me.

Daryl huffed, “They still think they own our husbands even when it’s been a long time since they’ve been away from the limelight, and it trickles down to us. At first, I still believe that we’re off radar, but after this, I don’t think we truly are. I’m telling you, they find our children more interesting now that they’re grown ups already, than when they were kids” this statement makes my nerves shoot up, “They will feast on them like how they feasted on their fathers. They are innocent targets”

The same exact thing came to mind. Our children (most especially the big ones), given that they have their own lives already, is an interesting target for the media. Their Dads are not making much noise anymore, no matter how they try to get them to at least make a sound, so they’ll direct their interests to who’s close to them, that is, us (wives, that I doubt they’ll get a drop of gossip about), and our children.

“Jiyong must not see this” I’ve been wrecking my brain thinking of a way to have the news about Isabella dating, off the web.

“We can ask the company to pull some strings to put it down. Thing is, these articles have been up since last night. I’m sure lots of people from all over the world has seen it by now. Some may have already tagged Jiyong in his socials. It’s too late for a news blackout” Railey is totally making a point.

What bother’s me is not the headlines, it’s the pictures taken of Isabella and Ryu, hugging and kissing on a side street. There was even a clear shot of them kissing amongst the blurred ones.  I don’t know what’s up with my daughter, but she should’ve kept off the streets.

“They look so in-love though” I told the girls after a long silence.

Railey chuckled, “Our baby girl is smitten by this guy” then she laughed, “As a matter of fact, you two have the exact same look in-love. Look at her! Her eyes, that is so much like yours, is twinkling the same as yours too whenever you look at Jiyong when you were just starting a relationship”

Daryl hissed, “Isabella is more beautiful than her mother!” of course, she will not admit my beauty, and I don’t mind, my daughter is more beautiful than I am, “When hot and Jiyong were just starting, they always look like they’re going to attack each other with sensual kisses right off the bat” she continues, “I think you guys have forgotten, Jiyong and Clara has been photographed gazillion times by paps totally showing public display of affection, and it never fails to drive the world mad!”

Oh yes, thank you for the reminder! Those were the days. Days when Jiyong and I are the media’s ‘apple of the eye’. There’s not a week that we’re not trending. Not a day a new gossip is made. We eat negative comments for breakfast, and I get so much hate, it keeps me up at night.

“So…what’s the plan?” the girls and I have been talking for ten minutes now and hasn’t come up with anything yet.

“Babe…”

I flinched when Jiyong called me. Great! He’s awake now! Let the fun begin!

“He’s up?” Daryl asked on the other line. Railey sighed heavily, “Today is going to be long” she said, making me lose my marbles. My stomach is turning. I don’t even want to imagine what will happen later, once he sees the news.

“Morning!” Jiyong kissed me on the lips and headed straight to the kitchen. “Do we have truffle mushroom?” he called out. I went to check what he’s doing. He’s making rice and egg with truffle mushroom on top.

“It’s in here” I grabbed it from the fridge and handed it to him. With a smile, he got it from me and skillfully shred the mushroom.

I wonder where his phone is. Normally, it’s on the bed side drawer, but because we didn’t sleep in our room last night….

“AH!” I perked up and rushed to the living room, leaving him clueless in the kitchen.

My plan is to hide his phone. As petty as it is, I cannot think of any other ways to prolong him not seeing the news. “Where is it?” I’m near to flipping everything upside down. I checked under the pillow he used last night, it’s not there. The center table and side tables are clean too. Then I try remembering what he’s wearing. He’s in a shirt and boxers. “He doesn’t have any pockets”.

“WAAAAA!!!!”

What now?

The noise is coming from our bedroom.

“What’s that?” Jiyong walks out of the kitchen in a rush. I shrugged, “I don’t know, but I’ll check on them” I immediately go to our room and made sure I closed the door.

The moment I walked in, Isabella comes running to me like a little girl who missed her mommy after a long day of being apart.

She has seen it.

“You know about it?” I asked softly. She nodded. Tears are pooling her eyes. “This is not going to be a smooth day for you and I” I told her, “But we’ll work through it” I comforted her.

I looked around the room and the big girls are all sitting on the love couch, squeezing themselves in it. They are scared to the bones. The boys are still on the floor, sleeping soundly, same with the little twins who are on our bed.

“Unnie is going to be killed by Dad” Karielle is in panic. Her eyes are shaking in fear. Dk scoffed, “What are you even thinking, K! Dad can’t even kill a fly what more his own flesh and blood!!!” she hit her sister lightly on the head, starting a fight.

A kid fight is the last thing on my mind right now. My head feels so light. I don’t have the energy to deal with them.

“SHUT IT!” Gabby extinguishes the fire by dragging Karielle to the floor, like a rag doll being thrown.

“We’re in this mess because of you!” She isn’t done yet. Karielle is now firing at Isabella who looks so guilty. “I knew it! I should’ve not get involved. You girls are pure trouble and I’m such an idiot for being on your team!” she is shouting her lungs out, waking everybody up.

All of a sudden, DK charged forward, grabbing a handful of her sister’s hair and next thing I know it, they’re already pulling each other’s hair.

“ENOUGH!” I parted them, “I swear you guys!” I yelled, “This act of yours is not helping. All of us are in a big mess right now, and when I say all, I MEAN ALL”. Not to scare the kids but we are in deep as of the moment. Heck! I don’t even know if I’ll still have a husband by the end of the day, for he might flee the moment he learns all the things we’ve been hiding from him.

Yeah. I’m exaggerating, but with the intensity starting from keeping Isabella’s relationship from him to helping her to date by lying to him, it’s a no brainer that Jiyong is going to go ballistic at me.

“Yah!” The kids and I froze when he suddenly walked in the room. He must’ve heard our noise. My heart is beating so loud, I can hear it. My anxiety is soaring high.

“Dad!” The little twins ran to him cheerfully. They are as lost as the boys with all the happenings, but they were able to pull out of it right away. “Hey babies! Good Morning!” Jiyong greeted them with a tight hug, each.

I cannot look straight at him even when I can feel him stealing glances at me. My eyes will give me away in a snap, and I’m not yet ready for a confrontation right now.

“What’s the matter with you, babe?” Jiyong’s calmness and curiosity is questionable. He is usually like this when mad (Ironic, isn’t it?), or I may be reading him too much.

I shake my head, “Nothing” I pulled out a smile and managed to keep eye contact.

This got me thinking, what if, he already saw the headlines? But then, if he already did, I’m sure he’s going to tell me about it. So maybe, just maybe, we’re still safe.

“Breakfast’s ready guys!” he is strangely calm. “Dig in before it gets cold” he met eyes with me again, “I heated up the pancakes and bacon, you left them on the table for way too long they’ve gone cold” he informed me, receiving an awkward nod.

One by one, the big kids stand up and took turns in greeting him good morning with either a hug or a kiss on the cheek. “I also made rice and egg with truffle mushroom on top” he told them.

“Morning, Dad!” Isabella is the last to greet him. Usually, he’ll play around with her by hugging her tighter and longer than the others, but it’s not what happened now.

“You” his eyes landed on me right after, and with a raised eyebrow, “What are you waiting for? Let’s eat breakfast”. He didn’t smile. He just followed the kids out of the room, leaving me in my own world.

In desperation and dire need of someone to talk to, I called the girls again. This time, I’m in the comfort of my walk-in closet, sitting on the round couch.

“I think I’m going to have a heart attack!” I didn’t wait for them to say hello or anything. The moment they pick up, I just started talking. “I don’t know, but I feel like Jiyong already knows. He’s too calm. You know this behavior of his. It’s as if telling you he knows something but is holding it in”

“You know what, you may be reading him so much because you know something is brewing. This may be your anxiety giving you the freaks” Daryl said. Railey cleared , “We know Jiyong, if he’s seen the headlines already, his initial reaction is to tell you about it right away”. I sighed, “The big girls aren’t even helping. DK and Karielle got into a fight a while ago, and we’re talking about hair pulling here” I shared, making them laugh.

“Their nerves are getting the best of them too” Daryl said, making me nod in agreement. Railey sighed in frustration, “You need to understand, you and the big girls are so much involved in this too, not just Isabella. You are her accomplices. It’s not just her who’s going to get the wrath o