March 25.

Love is all about acceptance, understanding and trust.

For years now, my everyday has been so interesting. I’m used to all the craziness happening around me. I’m even at a point in my life where I find it weird when things are going right, for I always expect them to turn the other way.

This morning, I was awakened by my alarm. As I open my eyes and stretch my arms, I felt the empty space beside me. Jiyong must’ve left for work early AGAIN. For days now, he and the rest of the boys has been very busy with their reunion comeback. Their days and nights are once again jumbled, that we rarely see them anymore. I’m used to this before, but with all the mad things that’s been happening to me right now, all I want is my husband.

“Mum!” Gabby ran to me the moment I walk out of the bedroom

I caught her in my arms, “Hey baby girl!” and hugged her tightly, “I missed you!”

My second born already moved to her apartment, leaving me and her Dad, sad once again. At first, we thought she’s not going back there for a long time, turns out, she just extended her stay here as per Isabella’s request because her dearest Unnie needs someone to confide with, with matters of the heart.

As for my eldest, she’s still on cloud nine in her first ever relationship. Our big secret hasn’t spilled out yet and none of us are sure up until when it’s going to stay in the box. What I’m sure of is that, once Jiyong discovers this, he and I will have a huge fight. Oh well, I’m ready to take the blow, what matters most is Isabella’s happiness. I can calm my husband down anyway.

“What made you go home?” I asked Gabby who volunteered to prepare breakfast for us.

While stirring the pancake batter in a big bowl, “My apartment feels so stuffy, Mum” she looked at me and I weirdly see struggle in her eyes. I don’t know what’s up, but my Mum instinct is telling me that something is not right.

Intrigued and worried, I leaned forward, “Is there a problem?”

Seconds passed and she just keeps stirring the batter, that by the way, is already too thick.

Then all of a sudden…

“I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE, MUM!” she almost smashed the bowl with the whisk.

Oh my! Now I’m more than intrigued and most definitely more worried. Gabby, as we all know her, is not the kind of kid who have sudden outbursts. She speaks her mind really well. Her being so vocal can even cause her trouble. What’s happening now, as I see it, is she’s been hiding something from us, that she cannot hide anymore.

I just let her be. I’m watching her pace in front of me with her hands on her head, tears flowing down her cheeks. Then I noticed her hair that was fire red weeks ago has lightened up, turning to orange.

“I was a straight A student all my life!” she started “I give my in’ best in school!”. Okay. One rule in this house, no swearing, but I’ll let her slip since she’s having a moment. “I may look like I’m just playing around, but I’ve mastered striving hard for school and play hard outside at the same time!” she stopped for a while then paced again, “I took on the challenge of studying law because I know, and I’m in’ confident, that I…” she pointed hard at herself, “I can crush it! But what now?” she threw her arms out, “I AM A IN’ LAW DROPOUT!”

My whole body froze hearing that. Oh Gabby!

“Baby” I rush to her side and pulls her for a tight hug. As a mother, I know so well how to comfort my children. Thing is, there are moments wherein it will take time for you to think on how to comfort them depending on the situation.

“I’m sorry Mum” she wrapped her arms around me and cries hard. The last time she cried like this to me was when she got her first period at twelve years old. She was so paranoid about it, that it took her days to move on.

I cupped her face with both hands, “Hey” I give out a smile, “I know how hard you tried to keep your place. You gave it your all, that’s what’s important”

In all honesty, Jiyong and I have always been curious as to how our daughter can digest the grueling law studies, for we both know how hard it is. We are very proud of our daughter for powering through.

“I dropped out a week ago, Mum” she confessed “As much as I want to tell you and Dad about it right away, I was scared. Also, you guys are too busy, too stressed, and I don’t want to add up to it”

This is the drag when both Jiyong and are too occupied. Our children’s default will always be them being careful around us to the point that they become secretive just not to add up to our full load, which as parents, is making us feel really bad because it’s never supposed to be like that.

“Baby” I lead her to the high chairs, “Next time, whenever things as important and as big like this comes up, please, never hesitate to tell us right away. You know very well that Dad and I are going to drop everything just for you guys”

She sighed and wiped her tears like how she used to when she was still a little girl (using the sleeves of her sweater), “I must admit Mum, another reason why I didn’t tell you and Dad about it is because I’m ashamed of myself. I mean, when I decided to take up law, you guys are so proud of me. You even organized a party to celebrate my admission. I have your full support and here I am now” she hangs her head down, “I really thought and strongly believed that I can do it, Mum. I have faith in myself that I will one day become a lawyer and rock it just like a Kwon rocks the world” she giggled, “But it really got the best of me. I just woke up one day not knowing what to do anymore. I cried day and night in random places but mostly in my room, while weighing things. In the end, here I am, back at home, crying ONCE again, while thinking of what to do with my life now”

“Look, there’s no rush in finding another thing to do” I rubbed her arm gently, “Take your time, baby girl. Breathe. Relax yourself. Don’t worry too much because you are still so young, the world is your playground, it’s for you to explore, and we won’t stop you from doing whatever you want, as long as you’re safe”

Not thinking that it’s possible, but I think my heart has grown a size bigger again. My love for Gabby and the rest of my kids are stronger now than ever. Now that they’re growing and having lives of their own, I think I should love them so much more, for it’s my love that they will find comfort in times of hardships.

After that, Gabby is back to being Gabby already. We agreed to break the news to Jiyong together later. My husband will surely hurt, but it’s not the disappointed kind of hurt, but more like a sympathy pain. He hates it so much whenever our kids are in pain.

“So…are you going to live here again, Noona?” Danny asked in the middle of breakfast.

We have told the kids about Gabby’s situation and just as expected, her sisters are the ones giving her the most comfort. Isabella even cried because she knows her sister’s journey just to get herself a law degree.

Russelle smirked, “With all of you Noonas here again, I’m pretty sure us boys will suffer severely”

DK lifted her head up proudly, “Just be thankful that we gave you a year and a half of break from us. Now that we’re back together, better behave…or else…”

“Kids” as much as they hate being called kids, I still call them that just to play with them. “Let’s not threaten each other please” I pleaded, making them giggle.

Minutes in and we’re silent. The kids are just eating, while I review my schedule for the day.

Isabella cleared , disturbing my train of thought. “Mum” she called and I look at her, “I was thinking….maybe…it’s time for you and Dad to consider giving