Review from Lady Comma's Reviews & Recommendations
Please Say No to Him Coz I Still Love You
I got a review from Lady Comma's Reviews & Recommendations
Story Title: Please Say No to Him Coz I Still Love You
Author: alize_sakura
Genre(s): Romance
Brief Description: It has been months since you, Shin Ae Gi; one talented girl on arts, broke up with your boyfriend, Yoon DooJoon. You've loved him so much and never stop wondering why you broke up with him on the first place when you knew there were nothing wrong happened between you and DooJoon. Suddenly, Yang SeungHo, who also DooJoon's friend, started to come close to you and eventually asked you to date with him. He admitted that he loves you and had DooJoon's approval to ask you out. You, who torn between your strong feeling toward DooJoon and trying to heal your self with accepting SeungHo's love, started to confuse. Who will you choose??
Rated H: No
Reviewed By: angelfocusbroken (Lady Comma)
Author: alize_sakura
Genre(s): Romance
Brief Description: It has been months since you, Shin Ae Gi; one talented girl on arts, broke up with your boyfriend, Yoon DooJoon. You've loved him so much and never stop wondering why you broke up with him on the first place when you knew there were nothing wrong happened between you and DooJoon. Suddenly, Yang SeungHo, who also DooJoon's friend, started to come close to you and eventually asked you to date with him. He admitted that he loves you and had DooJoon's approval to ask you out. You, who torn between your strong feeling toward DooJoon and trying to heal your self with accepting SeungHo's love, started to confuse. Who will you choose??
Rated H: No
Reviewed By: angelfocusbroken (Lady Comma)
1. Title: [3/5 pts.]
You misspelled ‘cause for coz. I cannot stand spelling errors, especially in story titles. Despite the misspelled word, the title is kind of cute, a bit cheesy, and a little bit too long. I docked off a point for the misspelled word and another point for the cheesiness. Sorry if I’m being a bit too harsh.
2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [4.5/5 pts.]
The poster is really pretty, but a bit too dark for my liking. The darkness, to me, hints at gloom and doom. I docked off a half point for that and also because the background is a bit too distracting. Looking at different pictures, although the guy is hot, can draw a readers attention away. I found myself doing just that, keke. As I was reading your story, I came across another poster that you have on Chapter 12. In my honest opinion, I would have gone with this poster because it is brighter and more cheery. The poster that you are using is so dark and depressing. The poster that you choose often sets the mood for your story.
3. Foreword/Description: [10/10 pts.]
The foreword and description is very well written, as well as informative, without giving too much away to the reader. I didn’t see any spelling or grammatical errors, and since your description and foreword are well written, I rewarded you with full marks. Congrats!
4. Plot: [20/30 pts]
I’m going to be honest, I didn’t read the entire story. I got halfway through and had to quit due to lack of understanding and grammar issues. Even though I do not know who the main character picked at the end or what all happened between her and the other two characters, I can only imagine. From what I did read, I could definitely see how you thought out each chapter and was working hard to give a good ending. It appeared to me that you really care about your story and that you worked really hard throughout it. Since the Grammar/Spelling and Plot are two totally different categories, I just decided to dock you ten points off of this category because I couldn’t finish reading your story. I’m sorry kiddo.
5. Flow: [3/5 pts.]
The flow wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t exactly good either. It was a bit erratic and bumpy at times. On your next fanfic, work on your flow and smooth it out. Also, it was kind of hard determining which POV I was reading at the beginning of each chapter.
6. Characterization: [5/5 pts.]
Your characterization was right on target throughout each chapter that I read. I didn’t have any problems with the character themselves. You did a good job in this category. Congrats!
7. Grammar/Spelling: [10/20 pts.]
Since from the get go, you have been up front and honest about not knowing English very well, I am going to try my best and be fair. Darlin’, your spelling, and so is your punctuation, is pretty much right on and I did not find very many spelling, or punctuation, mistakes. However, your grammar is very bad. It was so bad that I couldn’t finish reading your story because I had to fight the urge to take a red pen to my computer screen to correct your mistakes. The tenses were all wrong, and so were the way you described the character’s actions and manner of speaking. Since you don’t know English that well, I only docked you half of your points because I wanted to be fair and go easy on you because of it.
8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment: [5/20 pts.]
Since I was confused throughout the story, I didn’t really enjoy it. I’m sorry darlin’. I don’t want to be unfair and unkind given you don’t know English very well, but I’m only being honest. However, I know you tried your best at it and because of that, it made it a bit enjoyable for me to read.
Comments/Feedback: I could definitely see how hard you worked on it throughout the chapters that I read. I know you tried your best and I definitely admire it. I like reading stories where the author tries their best and you can read it and feel it. I don’t want you to get discouraged, the more English classes you take while your in school, the better you will get at writing. I can definitely see your desire to write and feel your passion burning. I will be writing and posting a guide in a few weeks on writing fanfics, under the name of Lady Comma, so when it is finished, check it out. It could possibly help your writing, not just with your fanfics. I hope I’ve helped, and again, I’m sorry if I was too tough on you.
Total: [60.5/100]
*Please always remember that if you make changes, or add to your story, you can always request for another review to better your score. Just send in another application, and we’ll get back with you as soon as possible.*
You misspelled ‘cause for coz. I cannot stand spelling errors, especially in story titles. Despite the misspelled word, the title is kind of cute, a bit cheesy, and a little bit too long. I docked off a point for the misspelled word and another point for the cheesiness. Sorry if I’m being a bit too harsh.
2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [4.5/5 pts.]
The poster is really pretty, but a bit too dark for my liking. The darkness, to me, hints at gloom and doom. I docked off a half point for that and also because the background is a bit too distracting. Looking at different pictures, although the guy is hot, can draw a readers attention away. I found myself doing just that, keke. As I was reading your story, I came across another poster that you have on Chapter 12. In my honest opinion, I would have gone with this poster because it is brighter and more cheery. The poster that you are using is so dark and depressing. The poster that you choose often sets the mood for your story.
3. Foreword/Description: [10/10 pts.]
The foreword and description is very well written, as well as informative, without giving too much away to the reader. I didn’t see any spelling or grammatical errors, and since your description and foreword are well written, I rewarded you with full marks. Congrats!
4. Plot: [20/30 pts]
I’m going to be honest, I didn’t read the entire story. I got halfway through and had to quit due to lack of understanding and grammar issues. Even though I do not know who the main character picked at the end or what all happened between her and the other two characters, I can only imagine. From what I did read, I could definitely see how you thought out each chapter and was working hard to give a good ending. It appeared to me that you really care about your story and that you worked really hard throughout it. Since the Grammar/Spelling and Plot are two totally different categories, I just decided to dock you ten points off of this category because I couldn’t finish reading your story. I’m sorry kiddo.
5. Flow: [3/5 pts.]
The flow wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t exactly good either. It was a bit erratic and bumpy at times. On your next fanfic, work on your flow and smooth it out. Also, it was kind of hard determining which POV I was reading at the beginning of each chapter.
6. Characterization: [5/5 pts.]
Your characterization was right on target throughout each chapter that I read. I didn’t have any problems with the character themselves. You did a good job in this category. Congrats!
7. Grammar/Spelling: [10/20 pts.]
Since from the get go, you have been up front and honest about not knowing English very well, I am going to try my best and be fair. Darlin’, your spelling, and so is your punctuation, is pretty much right on and I did not find very many spelling, or punctuation, mistakes. However, your grammar is very bad. It was so bad that I couldn’t finish reading your story because I had to fight the urge to take a red pen to my computer screen to correct your mistakes. The tenses were all wrong, and so were the way you described the character’s actions and manner of speaking. Since you don’t know English that well, I only docked you half of your points because I wanted to be fair and go easy on you because of it.
8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment: [5/20 pts.]
Since I was confused throughout the story, I didn’t really enjoy it. I’m sorry darlin’. I don’t want to be unfair and unkind given you don’t know English very well, but I’m only being honest. However, I know you tried your best at it and because of that, it made it a bit enjoyable for me to read.
Comments/Feedback: I could definitely see how hard you worked on it throughout the chapters that I read. I know you tried your best and I definitely admire it. I like reading stories where the author tries their best and you can read it and feel it. I don’t want you to get discouraged, the more English classes you take while your in school, the better you will get at writing. I can definitely see your desire to write and feel your passion burning. I will be writing and posting a guide in a few weeks on writing fanfics, under the name of Lady Comma, so when it is finished, check it out. It could possibly help your writing, not just with your fanfics. I hope I’ve helped, and again, I’m sorry if I was too tough on you.
Total: [60.5/100]
*Please always remember that if you make changes, or add to your story, you can always request for another review to better your score. Just send in another application, and we’ll get back with you as soon as possible.*
The review credit to: angelfocusbroken (Lady Comma) and Lady Comma's Review & Recommendations
And you can see the review here
Thank you, Lady Comma~ ^^
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