Another Review comes out~ This time is from Crystal Clear Help & Review Shop

Username: alize_sakura

Story Name: Please Say No to Him Coz I Still Love You

MARKS:

Plot:

-         We've all seen a story like this and there wasn't anything too stand out except for the fact that
every guy in the story seems to like her more than a friend. With that point, how many girls do you know that is
that perfect? Anyways, to me, you started the story much too late. The past was good, for 2 chapters but you didn't stay on track with the actual plotline described in the description. The story is about her and Seungho and whether her heart belonged to him or DooJoon not about her and DooJoon's past.

17/30 points

English:

I understand English is not your first language so I am going to teach you something here.

You need to grasp the concept of past perfect and know how to use it properly being that your story is mostly in the tense. Past perfect is used to link 2 things up that had happened in the past e.g. seeing an action and the action itself.
In most cases you would use the past form of HAVE with that past participle form of a verb. You can
search up Past perfect on Google and a lot of pages that are very helpful will come up.

Normally I would list down some mistakes and correct them but instead of that I will give
you some tips and corrections you need to make.

Hi is spelled as HI not HY. Yes 'Y' can make an 'I' sound but not in Hi.

You can only use either 'Even Though or Although' or 'But' once in a sentence and you can't have both in one sentence. Also, when using 'Even though or Although' make sure you have a point. These phrases are used to compare something, so make sure you have something for it to be compared with.

e.g. Even though he wasn't the most handsomest man in the world, I still loved him.

or

He wasn't the most handsomest man in the world, but I still loved. 

If you are truly worried about your English, have a Beta to read over your work and to make any corrections for you.

18/30 points

Creativity:

-       Just another love triangle.

6.5/10 points

Description and Title:

- The title is a tad bit long, if you shortened it down it would be better. The title didn't really grab me because, well, it was plain and long. You need titles that makes you stop for a second to think about what it actually said.
The description is good with the basic outline of the story and a little bit of background information.

6/10 points

Writing style:

-         Some readers may or may not like how you have written this story and I am one of those who don't.
I am a reader who likes getting told exactly who's mind it is in. It just makes it much easier. In some of your chapters,
it took me one third of the chapter to figure out who's view it was in and in a couple of cases I didn't know whose eyes it was in until I read your Author's comment.

6/10 points

Enjoyment:

-   Overall, it was an alright story with a few spots of boredom.

6/10 points

TOTAL SCORE: 59.5

STAR RATING: 2.8

The star rating is 2.8 because it was better than a 2.5 but not a 3.
Anyways, stay on track with your actual story line. Yes it is good to have problems on the side
but it always happens due to the bigger problem. Remember to read over your work
for any mistakes and if you're not sure about the spelling of a word, search it up.

If you would like any of your other stories reviewed, please don't hesitate to request.
Or if you do not understand something, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Reviewed by _uraqt

Comments:

To tell you the truth, I'm shocked by the low points there. But still I'm happy with how the reviewer pinpointed my mistakes and taught me how to improve the grammars. Nice. This is what I need actually for my perfectionist side~ So even thought I'm shocked, I'm satisfied with the review~ *evil smirks*

So thank you _uraqt for the good review. And all the credit goes to her and her shop, Crystal Clear Help & Review Shop, for the review. I hope I can bring out better stories to the readers~ ^^