My slumber was interrupted by the yell I heard from the living room. With newly opened eyes and an aching head, I managed to lift my body off my bed and snuck out of my room to see the commotion. I tiptoed all my way to the edge of the wall in between the kitchen and living room. I stuck my head out to take a glimpse of the room where I heard the unusual noise. I saw Sooyoung who lay on our fuzzy, green couch while holding her phone on her left ear. She was talking to Sunny again.

"Lee Soonkyu! You have to come back here.

I miss you... I mean we miss you." She giggled.

"I need my wife here with me. Understand?

Promise me you'll be here again soon. Okay?"

I pulled back my head to make sure that Sooyoung didn't notice my presence. The yell must’ve been from her. I silently stepped to my room to attend to my disturbed nap. There I was again, lying on my back with tears down my cheeks. The last words that came out of Sooyoung's lips echoed through my head.

"Those were the same words I said to Taeyeon back then." I whispered to myself.

"But where is she now?!" I cried out.

I grabbed a pillow and placed it on top of my face. I wanted to go back to my comfort zone which was sleeping but the images of Taeyeon continuously played through my mind. I proposed to her two months ago after a 5 year relationship together. We were happy, we were in love; but she declined my offer to spend eternity with me. We still lived in one house, sang the same songs. We were still ‘So Nyuh Shi Dae’ and that was a fate that we couldn't run away from. I still see her everyday, which made it a lot more painful. Neither of us was okay, I'm sure it was awkward for her, including the other girls. Because of our breakup, the team is at its lowest point and I couldn't help blaming our stupid breakup.

"Hold it together, Jessica." I thought to myself.

I knew I had to be strong, it was the only option I had.

Since then I've locked myself away from the world including the girls.

There were some nights that I wanted to leave SNSD 'cause my attitude brought the team down since Taeyeon broke up with me. I was a hindrance to them.

Later that night, I woke up. I didn't realize that I fell asleep again. I heard a lot of noise from the outside of my room. It seemed all the girls were back home from their work. I stood up and as I was about to open my door...

"Taeyeon Unnie!" I heard Yoona shouted.

Taeyeon must've been the last girl to arrive. I lay back at my bed, despite of my need to pick up some snacks and carry it to my room. I wasn't ready to face Taeyeon at my state. It was just too embarrassing and shameful. I guess I'll just sleep off my hunger again tonight.

"Unnie?" Someone called me, knocking at my door.

I wasn't able to identify whose voice was it due to the noise that went along with it.

"Come in." I said.

I was confident enough that it wasn't Taeyeon since the girl addressed me as 'Unnie' and not by my own name. The member entered my room carrying a tray full of food. There was a plate full of kimbap, two packs of potato chips, three tuna sandwiches, a bottle of water, and a carton of milk.

The girl who entered was our adorable maknae. She had a worried look on her face as she placed the tray on the right, bottom corner of my bed and stood beside it. I sat on my bum with the blanket covering my legs rather than resting my head on a pillow.

"That's a lot of food!" I said in shock.

"You haven't eaten the whole day, Unnie. I got really worried." She looked at me like a helpless child.

I went closer to her to give her a comforting embrace.

"I'm fine, really. Thank you, Seo."

She stared into my eyes like she noticed something wrong.

"Unnie, did you cry?"

I guess the redness of my eyes hasn't cleared off during my sleep.

I just smiled at her.

"Oh, unnie! Please don't cry. Here's some food. Do you want to talk about it?

Unnie, I'm always here for you, don't be upset." She said in a quick manner.

"No, no. I'm just… not over it yet." I faced down.

"I'm so sorry, Unnie. Do you want me to stay here for the night? You know, take care of you and stuff?" She suggested still looking worried.

I giggled a bit.

"You're my little sister, not my personal maid. Go spend your time with Yoona tonight. Okay? You don't have to worry about me." I faked a smile.

"Ugh. But, Unnie--"

"No buts! Now go along. The girls might be looking for you."

I brought her to the door.

"Well, okay Unnie. If you need anything else, you can just call me, okay?"

"Thank you, Seo. I think this will be more than enough. I really appreciate it."

She smiled and silently left the room.

The noise outside continued.

I gobbled up all the food on the tray. I was starving to death and I was thankful for Seohyun who blessed me with edible goodies. Hour by hour, the noise slowly vanished. The girls started to drift off to their dreamlands. It was a quarter pass midnight and I decided to go out at our back porch. The atmosphere was dark and quiet. I was alone, the way I wanted it to be. I sat on our swinging bench with the cold breeze softly brushing my hair. The absence of the moon and glimmering stars made the dark sky pale and incomplete, just like me. In my condition, the moon and glimmering stars was Taeyeon.

I’ve been sleeping the whole day and this was the only time I could have with the outside world. No thoughts have been cleared. The peaceful surrounding didn’t help at all. I was still beaten down; a girl with no self esteem. No amount of kimbap or tuna sandwiches, not even the numerous numbers of nights the moon and stars would be absent could ever help me get over her… Taeyeon. The girl I swore I’d spend the rest of my life with. She shredded my heart into pieces and it hurts a lot more that I don’t know her reasons. I deserved an explanation to why she did it; I was just too bashful to confront her about it. I was broken.