CHORONG

It’s been two weeks after the incident. After whatever Suho said, I think again whatever he said and it’s true. I’ve been locking myself up and I didn’t let anyone fix me. I thought that I was strong enough that I can handle everything by myself. But the truth is I need their help. I should ask for their help and that what I did.

I apologize to my friends and Chanyeol and ask then to help me forget about this. I even said that I might take time to forget about everything but I’ll try.

They look so happy and relieved in the same time. They hug me and said that they will be there everytime I need them. Thank them and since then I try to forget about it with their help.

To tell the truth it’s work a bit but I still get the dream about what he did with me in college and in China but I didn’t tell anyone because I’m just scared they will worry.

I was doing my work when I realize that it’s already 10.20am and Suho still didn’t came to office. Well it’s been two days since he didn’t come to office and I have a fail that I need to give to him for him to sign.

I asks Changsub where Suho is but he too doesn’t know where Suho is since his not picking up his phone.

Thinking about I really need him to sign this today, so I plan to finish my other work and then I can just asks him to sign it together with the previous one. So I just plan to go his house after office.

Once I’m done, I print it and file it. When I take a look at the time, it’s already 4.56pm. So I tidy up my table, take my handbag and the two files that I need him to check and sign, I walk out after saying bye.

Since I’ve told Chanyeol earlier that he don’t need to pick me up and I’ll just go to Suho’s house by bus. And after that I’m going drug store since I have something to buy.

Once I arrive at Suho’s house, I ring the bell and said that it’s me, the gate open and I walk in. To tell the truth, I’m very stunt and adore at Mr. Kim’s house. It’s big but still feel homey especially the garden.

When I step in the house, Aunty Shin come and greets me. I greet her back and asks if Suho’s home.

She nodded her head.

“His upstairs. After Mr. Kim had been admitted in the hospital because of the sudden heart attack, has been his room and didn’t even come out to eat our anything. I try to go to his room but its lock.”

Hearing that Mr. Kim is in the hospital shock me.

“Mr. Kim is in the hospital. I didn’t know. Why didn’t anyone tell us about this?”

“Jae Jin knows about this but I told him not to tell anyone since that what Mr. Kim asks me to do. Now go up and try to make Suho open the door. And if he did, please tell him to eat.”

I nodded my head and start to climb the stairs. Once I arrive the room that I think is Suho’s following Aunty Shin’s direction, I knock the door.

“Suho, are you inside. It’s me Chorong.”

Silent.

I knock again and keep on knocking. Then I stop and was about to walk away but stop when I felt weird about something.

Is he alright? I knock and he didn’t say anything. Aunty Shin even said that he didn’t eat for two days. What if something happen to him?

I walk back down and to the kitchen where I saw Aunty Shin there with Uncle Shin having tea.

“Sorry to disturb you but by any chance do you have a key to Suho’s room?” I asks.

“Yes we do, dear. Why?” Uncle Shin answer.

“Can I have it? I know it’s not a polite thing to do but I don’t feel good.”

“Sure. Wait here. I’ll go and take it.” Uncle Shin said and walk out to the kitchen.

5 minutes later, he came with a key in his hand and give it to me. I thank him and walk back up.

Unlock the door, I walk in slowly calling Suho’s name but still no answer. I place my handbag and file on the nearest table. then I heard a water flowing from the bathroom. Thinking that Suho must be taking shower, I turn back but stop instantly when I saw water coming out from the bathroom.

I run to the bathroom and open the door not even thinking further, I saw Suho was in the bath tab eyes close and look so pale. I close the water and shout for Uncle Shin and Aunty Shin.

A minute later, the couple walk in and was shock to see Suho’s condition.

“Oh God, Suho. What happen to you?” Aunty Shin said in her worry voice.

Uncle Shin come and help me pick Suho up from the bath tab and walk him to the bed.

“I’ll go and call a doctor and take some hot water and towel.” Aunty Shin said and run down stairs.

I walk to Suho’s walking closet and take his towel and one of his sweatshirt and sweatpants and give it to Uncle Shin.

He thank me and I was about to walk out when Uncle shin stop and asks me to help him to change him.

I widen my eyes in shock. Uncle Shin chuckle and said that I just need to dry him with the towel and help him change the shirt not the pants.

I nodded my head and went to help him. I change his shirt into dry sweatshirt. Once uncle shin done, I dry his hair with the towel and lie him down. Pull the duvet higher to cover all of her body.

Uncle Shin then asks permission to go since he have to go and visit Mr. Kim. I nodded my head. I pull the chair near the bad and sit on it. Then Aunty Shin walk in with a old man, maybe in his 50’s. He might be the doctor.

After checking upon Suho, said his fine and just a bad fever. Try to make her stay in the bed and he will give the medicine description.

I nodded and thank the doctor. Then I take back my sit beside him and try cooling his fever down by wiping her face and neck with lukewarm water. Aunty Shin already walks out from the room to inform Uncle Shin about the medicine.

I walk out from the bathroom when I saw Suho stand up weakly from the bed and wanted to walk but I run to him and stop him.

“Suho, what are you thinking you’re going?” I ask.

He looks shock to see me here. “What are you doing here, Chorong?”

“I tell you later. Now why don’t you sit and rest. Are you hungry? Do you want anything to eat?”

“No. I’m fine. I don’t want to eat.”

“No, you need to eat. Sit here and I go and try to find something in the kitchen.” I said after tug him.

I walk down and just then I realize it’s already 10pm. I walk to kitchen and it’s dark. Aunty and Uncle must already fall asleep.

I switch the light on and try to find something in the fridge and saw a clam. So I plan just to make a simple porridge for Suho.

After done cooking, I walk back up and into Suho room.

He was still on the bed pinching the nape of his nose and then his head.

I sit beside him on the bed.

“Here eat this. Then you can eat your medicine and go back to sleep.”

“But I’m not hungry.”

“I know you are, Suho. You didn’t eat for two days. I know you’re sad because your dad is in the hospital. I don’t know why you’re acting like this Suho. But you need to eat and be strong so that you can take care of him.”

Silent.

“Here, why don’t I feed you?” I said out of sudden.

Wait. Did I really just say that?

He just nodded weakly and I start to feed him. Once his done, I give him a glass of water and his medicine.

I told he to lie down and stand up but he instantly pull me to him and I fall on his lap. He wraps his arm around my waist and his face on my chest and start to cry.

I don’t why but I feel that I need to hug him to make him calm down. I hug him and rub his back up and down.

“Why is everyone that I love leaving me? Why can’t they tell me that they are not well? First mom and now dad. I didn’t even know dad have a heart attack until this Monday. If he didn’t get the attack, I won’t know that he have a heart attack. Chorong why is this happen to me? What did I do in my past life that God is taking everyone that I love from me?”

“Hey... Hey. What are you saying? No one is leaving you. Your dad isn’t leaving you. Aunty Shin told me that it’s just a minor heart attack. They didn’t tell you because they don’t want you to worry about them. You mom didn’t want to tell you because you were having you finals and he don’t want you to stress out. And your dad, I know he have is own reasons why he didn’t tell you.”

“But they should tell me. I’m their son.”

Caressing his hair I said “They are parents. They don’t want their child to worry about them. Just like us. We don’t our parents to worry about us so we don’t tell them that we are sick or sad. I saw how your dad look at you Suho. His so proud of you and he love you so much. Because he love you he didn’t tell you about this because he don’t want you to worry. Because he know that if you worry about him, you might do something bad to yourself just like what you did earlier.”

I pull him from my arm and said “That’s why you need to get well soon and take care of your dad. So you need to eat and take your medicine so that you can get well as soon as possible. Right now, your dad need you the most. He must miss you so much since you didn’t meet him for 2 days.”

“I will. Thank you. It’s good that I get to talk about this with someone.” He said and look in my eyes.

For awhile we just stay like that looking at each other’s eyes. Then he move to look at my lips before looking back in my eyes. His eyes was as if asking my permission to kiss me.

His thumb was caressing my lips in slow motion. Then, in a second, I felt his lips on mine. I was shock and was suppose to push him away but I don’t know why I didn’t. Instated I close my eyes and kiss him back.

He bit my lips and I gasp. He take that as his opportunities to insert his tongue in my mouth and explore my mouth.

We pull away because of the lack of the breath and once we pull away both of us we breathing heavily.

My eyes was still close and I don’t want to open it because I felt so humiliate and ashamed.

What did I just do?

I open my eyes and saw him looking at me intensely.

The beep on my phone wake us up from our moment. Just then I realize what happen. I quickly stand up from his lap.

W... Why don’t you go to sleep and take a rest. I’ll go and send the dish.” I said not looking at him.

He nodded his head and lie down.

I walk down, wash the dish and walk back up into Suho’s room to see that he already fall asleep.

I wanted to go back home. I was about to pick my handbag from the floor that was beside the bed, when I felt someone tug on my wrist.

“Stay. Please.” Suho said looking at me.

“But...”

“Please. Just for today.” He looking at me with his pleading eyes.

He stay all night beside you at Shanghai.

“Okay then. I’ll stay here. Why don’t you go and sleep. Take a rest.” I said smiling at him.

He smile back at me weakly and close his eyes after freeing my hand.

I look around to see if there is anywhere I can sit and do my work. Then I saw his work table. so I walk to the table and sit and take my laptop out.

I start to do my work and I didn’t even know how long I start working when I felt my back numb.

I stop from typing and stretch my body when I saw two frame on the desk. I take one of it and it was Suho’s family picture. It was when she was little. Maybe when he was 9 or 10 years old. I place it back down and take the other one and it was also a family picture and it was on his graduation day and her mother look pale even she was smiling proudly at Suho.

I place put back the picture and start doing my work when my eyes start to feel sleepy. I push the laptop a bit and lay my hand down the table with the support of my hand and fall asleep.

The next thing I know, I feel like someone was carrying me but I didn’t bother to open my eyes since I thought it must be a dream.