46. Compromises

A few minutes had passed since she put Euna in her crib and she slipped out of the balcony by the nursery. Seohyun couldn’t sleep and her heart was still beating unsteadily. Her eyes wouldn’t stop tearing but she didn’t really care since she knew Yonghwa wouldn’t be with them tonight despite giving her that small nod. She hated herself for saying that. She hated herself for not knowing when he would be serious. She realized how bad it sounded when she accused him of doing everything just so she would sleep with him. Although she knew that she couldn’t really be blamed for that reaction, it just did sound offensive if he was being serious.

Anyway, that was what she wanted, wasn’t it? For him to take her out. For them to spend time together— just the two of them. Those are the kinds of memories she would want to have for herself when the time comes that they have to part.

She didn’t know what to do.

~~~~

Yonghwa paced back and forth unable to do the work that was needed to be done, unable to untangle the thoughts clouding his mind. Seohyun was right, he wanted to sleep with her and he would do basically anything to do that. But then again, he wanted to spend time with her— only her. Her world revolves around Euna. She only gets to go outside when she needed to or when Yuri had free time to spend with them.

He did want to take her out, give her a break from being a mother. Give her a break from looking after his house which she basically had been doing without even realizing it. Before it was easy since it was only him. The small matters where only noticed after a while, like leaking roofs or clogged sinks. To his surprise, Seohyun was able to manage the lake house properly. She offered to manage the bills, the groceries, helping ajumma to check what was needed to be done and to practically run his house for him.

He wanted to give her a break but she didn’t realize it soon.

And he couldn’t blame her. It shouldn’t come as a surprise for him if she would take everything that he would say as a joke or could result to what he wanted from her. Remembering the way she looked when she realized his sincerity, Yonghwa winced.

Seohyun appeared to be shaken and confused.

He combed his fingers through his hair and decided that there really wouldn’t be any work that could be done tonight. Going upstairs, he frowned when he saw the empty bed and automatically looked at his watch taking note that almost half an hour had passed. Yonghwa made his way into the subtly lit nursery room and saw Euna sleeping in her crib and only then that he noticed the lights from the outside.

She was in the balcony.

He slid the door open and noticed how she seemed to hurry and wipe her face but she didn’t turn to him. Seohyun was probably crying harder. What to do with a crying woman?

Quietly, he walked and stood a few feet away from her. Leaning his body on the railings, Yonghwa looked at the wide expanse ahead of them. The lights from the golf club illuminated, he could see some people working around but the distance made it really hard to make out what exactly they were doing. He sighed when the silence got to him, “What are you doing out here? It’s cold…”

Seohyun didn’t answer for a while since she could feel still closing up on her. She might just end up crying a little harder. But when she felt him shift closer to her, she finally took a big sniff and replied as softly as she could, “I-I can’t sleep…”

He frowned. Despite the dimness, he could tell that her tears hadn’t stopped. Yonghwa couldn’t help but smile to himself. This silly woman. “Why are you crying, Seohyun-ssi?” He asked even though he knew exactly why.

She shook her head but it was too late. She started shuddering and she sniffed trying to stop herself, “I’m s-sorry…”

Yonghwa sighed and without hesitating, he gently moved her to face him. Carefully, he tucked his fingers under her chin and lifted her face towards him. He smiled the moment her tear-stained eyes settled on his, “What are you sorry for, Seohyun-ssi?”

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she spoke, her voice almost broke but she managed to continue despite the loud beats in her chest, “I thought you were only teasing again…”

He chuckled looking past her as the night breeze picked up, “It’s my fault too, I tease you too much…” Yonghwa spoke as his eyes studied her again. There were so many times that he would guise his feelings with a joke but he was upfront in wanting her to know how he desired her. He reached out and tucked some stray hair behind her ear. “Stop crying, Seohyun…”

“I can’t…” she grumbled then sniffed.

“Fine,” Yonghwa said as his quiet laugh dissipated into the cold air. Carefully, he wrapped his fingers on her wrist and pulled her, “Come here…”

Perhaps Seohyun lost all the stubbornness and the strength to fight within her that she easily fell into his arms. He smiled to himself when his lips touched the crown of her head then whispered, “I got mad yes, but not for long. Then I was upset, I’m still probably upset now. But seeing you regretful, I may have to reconsider being upset. Can I just accept your apology?”

She nodded against his chest, “Don’t be mad please? I can’t bear the thought of you mad at me…”

Her words shook him in way that he couldn’t explain. Instead of focusing on this sudden feeling, he quietly released her and spoke when she looked up on him, “Do you want to know why I want to take you out?”

Seohyun only nodded so he started, “First of all, I want you to have a break. Even a little break. I know you love spending time with Euna but you are also tired and stressed sometimes and you cannot even deny this. I just want to see you unwind like we did back at Jonghyun’s party. Even for a few hours.”

Then his lips drew into a more serious smile, “And yes, I want to take you out because I want to spend time with you, Seohyun. A time that would be spent where your attention would only be to me. Not thinking that any moment the alarm would sound, or if it’s Euna’s time for her milk, or check if she needed changing. And I’ve been clear, at times jokingly, but yes, I want to have you in my bed, Seohyun-ssi, but most of all I just want to spend time with you… even for a while.”

Her heart clenched in the depths of her chest. She cried even more and managed a small nodded.

Is it possible to be even more in love with someone?

“But now, let’s stop it here…” Yonghwa smiled brushing his thumb on the tears that were flowing softly on her cheek, “Maybe some other time when you would be more comfortable to have that moment to spend with me, only with me… okay?”

Nodding unsurely, Seohyun could only interpret that as his way of saying that they really would not have that dinner. Yet. She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

Yonghwa watched her for a moment as she tried to compose herself. She was still probably feeling bad so he decided to put her at ease in the best way he knew. He grinned when he spoke again, “But I’m telling you now that when that time comes I would still tease you…”

Indeed, Seohyun frowned at him so he knew that she was returning back from her misery. Yonghwa playfully pinched her cheek for a second as he continued, “Don’t expect me to stop teasing you. It’s just my way of telling you that I like you a lot…”

She swallowed. Did he even understand what he was saying? Did he even understand the weight of those words? Putting those thoughts aside, she grumbled lightly, “How does that tell me you like me?”

Yonghwa chuckled, “Seohyun-ssi, if we met when we were in grade school, I would be that boy who would call you names at the playground so you’d chase me.”

“And make me cry?”

“At least I’d be the reason for those tears? At least that would mean I would be inside your head?”

She shook her head suddenly realizing what he meant. Suddenly realizing that maybe, just maybe, he could be falling for her too. Seohyun bit her lower lip to stop herself from smiling— to stop herself from creating that thought that was possibly not true.

“I would tease you a lot so you’d notice me…” Yonghwa grinned seeing the way she seemed to be forcing herself not to smile. That moment, he wanted so much to pull her and kiss her, even just a chaste kiss. But he knew he wouldn’t be contented with just that.

She finally laughed softly, “That’s quite logical but misguided way of thinking…”

“So you’re calling the Yonghwa-way as misguidedly logical?”

Seohyun nodded with a giggle adding, “Logically misguided.”

“See? The girl just laughed at what the boy said…” He gave a small pat on the