26. At The End of The Day

Seohyun woke up from her nap and realized that she slept for more than half an hour. It felt good— for the past two days since ajumma arrived, she earned herself frequent naps. Of course she didn’t want to get too greedy so she would wake up once Euna awoke from her own sleep. Like this time, Seohyun pulled her body up and muttered at her angry baby, “I’m coming, Euna. Seriously, where did you get that voice?”

Her little girl looked so distressed so she picked her up right away and sat on the chaise beside the crib. Moving Euna’s face gently, she offered her food but her baby whimpered still as she started . Seohyun winced. The pain rushed through her at the first of force from Euna’s mouth. She gritted her teeth as if it could help but she just ended up holding her breath then sagged as she exhaled.

“Why does it have to hurt like hell?” She cried to herself and Euna whimpered so she softly rocked her, “I’m not angry, baby, I’m sorry. But it’s really painful.”

After a few minutes, Mrs. Kim walked in the room so she just trapped her lower lip between her teeth to avoid the older woman from seeing her struggle. Suddenly, Euna pulled away and whimpered, “No more?”

Ajumma helped her so she could transfer Euna to her left. Her baby began and she just want to cry out loud.

“Is it painful?” Mrs. Kim frowned.

“Ju-just a little,” she mumbled but it actually stung like an open wound. Seohyun took a deep breath and exhaled from every time Euna too hard. After a few minutes, the little one pulled away and sniffed.

Then whimpered.

And cried.

Ajumma took her and rock her gently that Euna’s voice weakened for a moment but she was still crying. Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue, “I think she’s not getting enough.”

Seohyun nodded as she dabbed the slightly warmed hand towel on her chest. She sighed at the relief that washed over her. “I just wish it won’t hurt too much and she’s getting enough…”

“It hurts because she hardly gets anything. Maybe you should switch to formula.”

“I guess…” she exhaled loudly and smiled at the older woman, “Thank you, ajumma. You can go now. You’re grandson might be waiting at the kindergarten.”

“Are you sure?” Mrs. Kim slowly transferred Euna into her mother’s arms, “The teachers usually wait with them.”

Seohyun nodded and smiled, “I’m sure… besides, she can’t cry for too long. Don’t worry about us.”

“Okay then…” Ajumma nodded unsurely before walking out of the room with her, “You’re dinner is ready. I didn’t put it in the fridge since the weather isn’t too hot. Just reheat it and also the rice once Yonghwa gets home.”

“Ne,” she smiled and watched her take her bag from the counter, “Thank you so much for washing Euna’s clothes…”

“Aish, it’s my job,” she waved a hand as she spoke then continued, “Besides, that was all I did for today since I finished cleaning yesterday.”

“But still…” Seohyun pouted and smiled when ajumma clicked her tongue again. “Okay, Euna, say goodbye to ajumma.”

“If she’d stop whining she’d be able to,” Ajumma laughed and kissed Euna’s forehead, “Euna-ya, stop crying, you’re so ugly when you cry like that!”

Seohyun laughed, “You’re making her cry harder.”

“I’m leaving now…”

“Thank you again, see you on Monday…” Seohyun bowed lightly before ajumma disappeared from her sight. She sighed and rocked gently, "Aw, Euna, how sad can you possibly be to cry like that?”

~~~

It must have been an hour or more but Seohyun could no longer tell. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and stared helplessly at the baby in her arms. She shivered knowing that this was no longer normal— Euna hadn’t stopped crying since she started when she woke up from her nap. Her heart drummed in her chest as she started crying herself.

“Euna, please… sweetheart, stop crying…” Seohyun sniffed and brushed her face on the sides of her sleeve. Euna was crying in different level of volumes and pitches her mother could no longer interpret. She tried to feed her several times but she wouldn’t eat; she changed her diaper, her clothes, and she almost toured the whole house and out in the backyard to see if Euna was uncomfortable.

But nothing was working.

Seohyun was so tired— so tired of trying, and scared that Euna was in pain. She placed her gently in her crib and she choked. Covering with her hands she cried a little harder when Euna wailed in agony. She rushed and went to the master bedroom to retrieve the SUV’s key from the nightstand but it dropped in her hand clinking in the hardwood floor. She raised her hands in front of her and noticed that she was shaking.

Her legs gave up and she dropped on the side of the bed. The sight of her phone brought that little sense of hope inside her. She grabbed it and dialed the number she got from Aunt Hyeon Ji.

“Op..pa…” she croaked the moment he answered her call. But there was this distinct silence and she realized he didn’t have her number so she continued, “Oppa, it’s me, Seohyun…”

“Ahh, yeah…”

There was a pause on the other end of the line and she wanted to speak but her voice got caught in . Seohyun sniffed trying so hard not to cry especially since she could hear the faint sound of her baby’s crying.

“Hyun? What’s wrong?”

“Euna… she…” she replied but another roll of tears rushed through her.

“What happened? Where is Euna?”

“Sh-She’s in the room, I don’t know what’s wrong she has been crying. She w-won’t stop. I don’t know what to do—“

“Okay, okay, slow down. Where’s ajumma?”

“She left an hour ago, and Euna—“ Seohyun clutched her free hand on her chest when she heard Euna’s high pitched cry that was more like a scream. Her baby was hurting and she didn’t know what to do. She felt so useless and helpless.

“Talk to me, baby. What happened?”

His soft voice came to her like a salve but she needed to get Euna calm to feel better herself so she spoke as she stood and paced inside the room, “Sh-she woke up and started crying so loud I don’t— I couldn’t calm her. And… and— I want to take her to the doctor but my hands are shaking so much I’m so scared her face— she’s too pale. She won’t eat—she just cries… I—don’t know, I’m scared to even hold her and to drive I might I want to take her to the hos—“

“Okay, Hyun… take a deep breath, baby, come on…”

And she did. She took big gulps of air and released them but it didn’t help. She moved back to the room and saw the telltale signs of little tears on the sides of Euna’s closed eyes. Her little hands were shaking, her knees were pulling up to her stomach then she would kicked them hard.

“Hyun, I want you to try again… try everything to soothe her, okay? Don’t leave her alone in the room.”

“I’m scared… so scared…” she whispered as she tried to rub her palm on Euna’s chest telling her she was there.

“I know, baby… I am too. Listen, I’m on my way out. I will drive as fast as I can, okay?”

“O-okay… please, please hurry… I— cannot…”

“Okay, baby. Hang up now… hold her no matter how scared you get. Just— just hold her…”

“Okay… okay…” She nodded and stopped the call. With her shaky hands, she lifted Euna up in her arms and rested her on her chest and she swayed gently tapping her back, “Shhh… it’s okay, Euna… appa’s coming we’re going to the doctor ok