Chapter 112. Backfire

Yonghwa knew that she could sense the distance he had created from the moment he went back home. Not counting that early morning where his guard was down—both rhetorically and literally, he decided that it would be best that he wouldn’t have a reason to get in deep into her once the realization crept into him. He couldn’t think of anything else but trying to figure out her end game and when she brought this going-back-to-Tokyo thing, it just turned his defense mode on.

But somehow he couldn’t quite figure out what game she was playing considering the fact that she turned his proposal down twice. If her father wanted them married, possibly to get back at his own for backing out of the deal, why wouldn’t she just grab the chance and get what they wanted from him?

Are they just testing how committed he was to this? The anger— possibly the hurt from betrayal boiled in the pits of his stomach. Without hesitating, he started to ask, “Seohyun, what if your parents come here and tell you to go back? What would you do?”

Her brow lifted, “What do you want me to do?”

Yonghwa expected her non-answer but didn’t reply as his little feisty one was trying to take the spoon from him. Once Euna found another distraction, he managed to feed her quietly. His mind just brought him to that thought that if this was a test, he could give his own so he boldly declared without thinking of the consequences, “Let’s get married.”

“What?”

The disgust was reflected on Seohyun’s expression and her body language told him she was keeping her calm just for the sake of the baby. But this time, he wasn’t backing down as he looked squarely at her challenging her own resolve, “I said let’s get married. At least they won’t be able to force you to go back.”

“They won’t force me to go back,” she retorted flatly.

“That means you will willingly go back if they ask.” That wasn’t even a question but she nodded so casually he could feel the anger rising, “Then marry me…”

“Why?”

There was this softness in the way she inquired but all he could think of was the way it felt like she was taunting him. Yonghwa frowned, “Why are you asking that?”

For a second, she looked as if she was ready to call his bull but instead dropped her gaze in front of her stubbornly fighting with her voice breaking unsurely in a small reply,  “I told you before I can’t— right now…”

“Why not?” Yonghwa challenged knowing that she’d reached the end of her argument. Watching her right this moment, he could tell that she was losing patience with his insistence. Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath then exhaled through just as she looked at him again.

“Do you love me, Oppa?”

Love.

He stumbled at the suddenness— even more so at that soft tone she gave and the defeated way she was looking at him. It was a jab in his chest that he would have literally faltered if he was not seated.

Does he love her?

The question dug down inside him but there was no ready reply for this.

She brought her gaze down on the task in front of her with that little sad smile on her lips as she shook her head, “I thought so…”

There was this tightness in his chest hearing that. She thought so what? How could she’d have thought of something he was feeling when he didn’t even replied. Yonghwa swallowed— never in his life he was placed in this scenario.

To be asked this question— it rocked his mind.

How to put words in this feeling? And how he was feeling exactly for her?

Is this love?

Is this what love really feels like?

“Then what if I love you?” Yonghwa managed to ask despite the chaos in his chest.

But she laughed, that accusing laugh as if she didn’t know him, followed by that equally spiteful scoff, “Is that a rhetorical question? So, do you love me?”

“Do you?” He could almost hear his heart beating. Could she hear it too? “Love me?”

“I asked you first,” Seohyun replied without even any thought to it. As if she didn’t expect that he would ask that back and she just sighed again before adding, “I cannot… will not marry, unless… for love, oppa…”

“Seohyun, it’s just formality. Can’t you see that?” He found himself barking back, getting anxious and impatient by another dismissal of this.

“Marriage is not just formality. It’s a commitment.”

“I can commit and you know it—”

“It’s love, okay?!” She declared rather loudly this time that even the baby jerked. Then, she hastily wiped her hands declaring softly for the sake of Euna but there was a bite on her tone, “Don’t ask me to marry you again.”

There was pain in her eyes and resignation on her face and it hit him hard realizing that despite his animosity, he didn’t like the way he felt seeing her hurt because of him. He stood ready to apologize— willing to set aside this heaviness in his chest. But when he got hold of her wrist, she pulled away and spoke, “And don’t even dare telling me to marry you again. I will not be ordered to marry anyone. Not by my parents. Not by you…”

Yonghwa watched her walk away, seeing her hands clenched in tight fist on her sides. He stood there for a couple of seconds until Euna started grumbling for her food. Quietly, he continued feeding her regretful that she had to witness that despite the fact that she probably didn’t understand what was happening. “I’m sorry, kiddo. We’re such a bad parents, huh?” He whispered kissing her temple but she pushed him away and tried to reach for the spoon instead. Yonghwa sighed pondering over the confrontation and how she rattled him with her question and declaration.

Somehow, whatever he thought about their situation— how he ended up with her, he was beginning to think he could be wrong. And he needed to talk to her but with all the drama that happened, a distinctive smell hit him like a freight train that he ended up laughing, “That’s a really nasty one, Euna.”

She crinkled her nose giggling at his reaction but it didn’t last long since the discomfort started to get into her. Yonghwa was thankful somehow that their baby didn’t seem to register the conflict and she was still in a good mood. He cleaned her up and let her play in her crib while he finished preparing the spaghetti Seohyun started. He didn’t know how to approach her so he ended up eating alone and waited but it was useless.

Euna started getting cranky so he decided to take her upstairs to sleep and try to coax Seohyun to eat knowing that she was upset. Maybe the time he gave her was enough for her to give him the chance to explain. The devil was still in his head, whispering about the possibility that she had been lying to him all this time but he shunned it thinking that what they have right now mattered more.

 When he reached the bedroom, she wasn’t there but he caught sight of the lights outside the nursery and he thought she probably needed more time so he just changed Euna and put her to sleep. Another hour passed that even their baby was starting to sigh in her sleep that he decided to face Seohyun. Once he made sure that Euna was comfortable, he made his way outside.

Despite