"What's wrong?" Suho asks me while holding my hand. 

"It's nothing. Sorry. I feel a little sick again. I guess it's not out of my system yet..." I lie to him. 

He doesn't notice and thinks it a reasonable explanation. He sits down at the head of the table. That's where he belongs. One by one the others start to pour in. I cleaned up a bit so that I don't look like I'm about to cry again. Everyone greets me like they always do and sit down. Last but not least, Yixing enters and doesn't look at me. Something must've happened. I want to ask about it, but I'm scared. And we're surrounded by his band mates. 

"Let's start, shall we?" I say in a cheerful voice. 

They all agree and sit up a little straighter. Some guy from S.M. Entertainment is taking pictures for me. They suggested it. I ask the boys some questions and they answer it like they're supposed to. I get into it really quick. I forget about the whole deal that went on a few hours earlier and only think about the interview. I don't act like I know them and neither do they. It's supposed to be this way. 

"Last, but not least. Are you boys planning on going to Europe or any other continent any time soon?" I ask them. 

"We're still talking about that with management. We're still waiting to see if we're as popular as we want to be over there. And we hope this article will help us!" Baekhyun says. 

"Okay! That's a wrap guys! We just have to take some professional pictures together and we're done for today!" I tell them. 

They all sigh and let it all out. This must be very tiring for them. They do this all the time. And I know for a fact they practiced until late last night, so they must be very tired. 

We get up and the guy from management takes some very good pictures of us all together. Yixing is on the far end of the row. He tried not to look at me the whole interview. But for some parts he just had to. And it was a different kind of look I am used to. And when the pictures had to be taken he went to the far end because he didn't want to stand next to me. I am a little disappointed with that. But there must be something wrong. I know there is. He was so kind to me all day yesterday. And now he was so cold. Maybe management said something. I don't know. My head has been going crazy ever since I left him at the hotel. 

"Let's do something! I'm bored!" Kai yells.

"We have to go to practice soon..." Suho states and they all sigh. 

"What if I come? Maybe I can dance something too?" I ask them. "Or maybe I can use a practice room?"

"Oh yeah! Let her come!" Sehun says and looks at Suho. 

"Fine! We could use someone fresh anyways! But are you sure you're feeling up to it? You looked like you were going to puke when I first got here.." Suho says with concern in his voice. 

I see Yixing looking my way with some concern in his eyes. But he quickly looks away again when he noticed that I saw him. 

"I'm fine. I will be anyway..." I say in a cryptic way. 

Nobody notices and we all go up to their dance room. When I step inside once again memories come back. From the first time I came here. Right off my plane and straight here. It was something. And it was only a few days ago. But it seems so distant now. Like it happened in a far off past. I walk over to the back to drop off my bag. 

"Is there somewhere I can change? This is not an outfit created for dancing.. Neither are these heels" I laugh and Chanyeol joins in.

"Follow me!" Chanyeol says and leads me back to the hallway. "In here is where we get changed. If you want to, there are still some of our stuff here so you can use that.. We don't have shoes your size though..." 

"It's fine.. I carry my vans with me all the time!" I say as I take out my vans to show him. 

"See you in a sec!" He leaves me.

I look around for some good clothes. I find black trainers, a plain white shirt and a black hoodie. Perfect. I don't know who they are from, but it's okay. They fit quite well. A little big in some places. But it's good for dancing. I step outside and go over to the practice room once again. When is step inside the guys are already practising again. Call Me Baby is on and they are doing it casually. Like they're waiting for something. Or someone. I close the door and they stop. 

"That's my hoodie!" Tao says and points at me. Then he laughs and comes over. "But it looks good on you!" 

I laugh a little, but I'm kind of embarrassed. 

"Then who's pants am I wearing?" I say suggestively. 

"Those are mine..." Xiumin says and I smile at him. 

"Shirt?" I ask. 

"That would be mine..." Yixing suddenly says. 

I blush a little and I don't dare look at him. Why did I have to pick his shirt? I've caused enough problems as it is. I just hope he doesn't resent me. That we can be friends. Like we were before he spent the night while I was sick. But nothing even happened. I was sick, for god's sake. 

"It does suit you", he says with a wink. 

Apparently he doesn't resent me. He's still friendly. I'm very happy. 

"What were you thinking about dancing to?" I ask them, to get the attention away from me. 

"We're practising Call Me Baby for the comeback stages! Want to join in?" Tao asks. 

"Yeah! But I don't know the dance that good yet! You'll have to learn me..." 

"No biggie!" Chanyeol adds.

Someone puts on the music and for some reason I'm in the middle. I try to do the first bit and I do it well enough to keep up. I know the dance until just after the chorus. Then I stand still and look at the boys. They are really good up close. I watch them closely and try to copy their moves in my own time. I manage to finish the song. I am very proud of myself! 

"You actually did it! And with such class too!" Baekhyun tells me. 

I am sure I'm beaming light or something. I am so happy that I made it work. And that I didn't at all.

"You guys had so much practise while prepping for EXO, I'm nowhere near as being as good as you guys!" I say and I pick up a fresh towel to wipe away the sweat. 

"Let's ask our main dancers", Suho suggests. "Kai? Lay?" 

"She has her own style. It's not as put together as ours but she has a nice flow!" Kai says and I smile a thankful smile at him. He returns it with his signature smile.

Now it was Yixing's turn to talk about me. This is so awkward. 

"You were really good. You really have a nice flow and your body seems very in tune with the music. It's nice to watch you dance", he winks at me.

It seems like he forgot all about what was going on this morning.

"There you have it!" Sehun says and claps his hands. 

Baekhyun just looks at me with a suspicious look. I wonder what's going on in his head. Baekhyun always seems to be the most energetic person besides Chanyeol. But he has been quiet all of the time since I arrived. Does it have something to do with me? Doesn't he like me? I have absolutely no idea. I want to know though. So while the others are practicing some more I walk over to him and sit beside him. He doesn't say anything but he doesn't run away either. 

"I'm guessing you want to talk?" He asks me out of the blue. 

"Yeah, I do..." I tell him and he gets up. 

I follow him into the hallway. He stops when we can't hear any more music. He turns to me and looks me in the eyes. I'm kind of scared because he looks so serious. I've never seen him this serious... Not even in interviews or on stage or something else. He's kind of scary this way. 

"Lay was with you last night?" He asks me, bluntly. 

"Yes he was", I tell him, there is no point in lying. 

"Did anything happen?" 

"Yes." 

"Tell me", he orders me.

"Well, I was very sick. So a lot of things happened. I puked, a lot. He gave me medicine, then he sat with me until I fell asleep so I would feel better. Eventually he was so tired, which he always seems to be, that he fell asleep himself. And that's the whole story..." I explain. I leave the part where Yixing, mistakenly, took me into his arms, out of it. He doesn't need to know that kind of detailed explanation. 

"Are you sure?" He asks me.

"Yes, positive... Why do you want to know?" 

"I care a lot about these guys. They are kind of like a family. We recently lost 2 of our brothers. I don't want to lose anyone else. And Yixing is a very delicate person. I don't want to see him getting used for publicity, or whatever. And you are a journalist... The guys trust you, but I'm still deciding..." He says without blinking.

And I get where he's coming from. They have it hard enough as it is. And here I am, a journalist, trying to be friends with them. It does seem kind of off... 

"I swear to you. I've been a fan for as long as you guys have formed this band. I, too, was heartbroken when they left. Okay, not as heartbroken as you guys must've been. But still, it hurt. I know what it is to look at my idols and see them hurt too... I never ever want to betray you. I love you guys with all my heart. More than you can possibly ever understand because you don't know what it is. To love a band so much, to see them and smile at everything they do because 'that is so like them!'. I constantly had to remind myself that you are not really my friends, that you live miles and miles away. That you don't even know who I am. And that is very hard. To love someone that much hurts so much because I have to share you with the rest of the world. But on the other hand, I get to talk with them about you! Just wait, Baek, until you've been a fangirl, then you'll understand what it's like."

I am practically out of breath. He just stares at me and he smiles a little. What the hell is he smiling about? I just laid out my heart for him and all the other boys in this band. And he's ing smiling? What is wrong with him?! I try not to be frustrated but it's so hard. 

Then I see him look behind me and I turn around. There are 9 more guys who heard everything I just said. EVERY SINGLE THING. I blush and they all rush over to me. 

"That was the most inspiring speech I ever heard", Suho tells me and hugs me. 

" Could not have said it any better", Tao smiles. 

Lay just stands in the way back and smiles at me in this very cryptic way. I smile back. 

"Welcome to our family", Baekhyun tells me and smiles, then they all come in for a group hug and I start crying. 

I feel so wanted. I feel so one with them. And then I realise I was wrong. Baekhyun doesn't hate me, neither does Yixing. They all see me as a part of their family now. I just have to live up to their expectations.