We finally get out of the room and go back to the boys. I stop by the restroom for a bit before entering the room. I have to make sure I look okay. I know they probably know I've been crying like a little baby, but they don't have to be confronted by it like this. I look okay, not amazing, but I never do anyways. Make-up will make it better in a few. I feel sorry for them because they have to deal with my ugly face.

I walk back inside the room. Everyone is silent.

"Who died?" I joke. They all laugh softly.

They see this as a sign I'm okay again and they can joke around like they normally do. Only Yixing isn't convinced. But he can't exactly make me tell him now. I sit down on the floor and wait for make-up to come get me. I also have to change into my clothes. I'm so nervous about going on TV. Okay, it's not live, but it's close enough. I look around. They seem so natural about all of this. I'm so envious. Amalia is sitting with Chen and Xiumin again. She seems to be enjoying herself too. I decide to let her be.

Baekhyun sits down next to me and hugs me a little.

"It's nice you can come on TV with us!" He tells me while still having his arm around my shoulders.

"I hope I don't screw it up.." I confess.

"You could never screw it up! Everyone will love you. I'm sure! We did right away..." Reassures me.

"You didn't! You were worried I was here for a good story alone!" I accuse him.

"You got me there... But I was only thinking about the group okay?" He holds his hands up in the air.

"Okay, I know... But now you know I'm not here because of that", I wink.

We laugh a little more and then make-up comes for me, Sehun and Kai. I follow them, they're obviously more experienced than I am. They even joke with the artist. Seems that they know each other. Of course they do, Ella, they come here all the time because they're Kpop stars... Way to go. Good you didn't say all of that out loud. 

I almost face-palm myself, but I hold it in because it might look weird. Scratch that, it definitely looks weird. Instead I focus on the boys in front of me. Sehun falls back a little while Kai chats with the make-up artist. He walks beside me but doesn't say anything at first. Then he speaks. 

"I think you're brave..." he whispers. "For doing all of this for us. We're such a lousy band."

"I'm not brave, Sehun. And you are not a lousy band. You're far from lousy. All of your fans love you for a reason!" I assure him.

"But still, to move to a foreign country and live with 10 guys you don't even know that well. To give up your life to start all over here. I don't think I could do that", he confesses. 

"Well, you kind of already did. When you came for your training. You gave up your teenage life far away from Seoul, to come and live with 11 strangers. That must've been hard too..." I tell him in all honesty, because it is true. He did the same thing as me. 

"But I was born here in Korea. You were born in Europe. That's half a world away", he takes me hand while walking and squeezes it. 

"Still, I think you're brave too", I wink. 

"And that you take all this from our fans..." He lets go of my hand in the progress of saying this. "I don't think anyone else would do that. You're really something." He finally smiles at me and side hugs me while walking. "If you ever tell this to anyone I'll kill you."

"Oh, please. You're nowhere near as scary as Kyungsoo", I laugh at his expression. 

"I can be."

"No, you can't Sehun. You're even younger than me!" 

He lifts his chin but still smiles. He can be playful too. We arrive at the dressing room and table. One person takes me with her to the fitting room. I get into my clothes and am escorted to the table for make-up. 

Someone whistles when he gets back into the room. It's Kai. Who else? 

"Don't you look fancy!" He says while clapping his hands. 

"Stop it, Kai", I laugh. 

He sits down in the chair beside me. He plays with his phone a bit but gets bored really easily. The girl is already working on my face and hair. I think I'm going to actually look pretty when I walk out of here.

"I hope they won't ask any difficult questions this time. It's so tiring all the time..." Kai says to me. 

"I've seen some of the interviews. It does look kind of hard. I hope they keep it playful. You guys have been practicing a lot. You deserve some kind of break. The only one who can keep up with this rhythm is Baekhyun and even he seems tired these days."

"He is. We all are. I wish we could just take one day off!" Kai sighs and slides down in his chair. They haven't started on his make-up or hair yet, so it's okay for him to do this. 

"Never don't mind about a thing", Sehun yells from the background. 

"Shut up!" Kai shouts back and they both laugh really hard. 

They're such good friends. It's kind of cute to watch them interact. I've always loved Kai and Sehun on EXO Showtime, but they didn't really show much of them anywhere else. It's good to see that their bromance has survived outside that show too. 

"Whatcha looking at?" Kai asks me, realizing I must look very stupid looking like this. 

"Nothing. Don't worry", I smile very widely. 

He smiles back and has one of the most beautiful smiles ever. I love it. 

After a while she's done with me and I can go back and send in another person. It has to be Tao. I walk back and open the door. They're all looking very tired and are not saying that much. Amalia and Chen are sitting in a corner, whispering about something. Chanyeol is playing on his phone. And, of course, Yixing and Tao are sleeping on the couch. Are they even being serious? They do this all the freaking time. I get that they're tired, but I don't get how they can just fall asleep anywhere they want. I go over to wake up Tao. 

"Man, you're requested at the make-up stand", I shake him awake. 

He shoots up and walks out of the room, looking very annoyed. I sit down on the spot where he was just sleeping. Yixing hasn't woken up yet. I look at him while he's sleeping. He looks so peaceful and young when he sleeps. He has no worries at all. I love seeing him like this. I know how hard it's been on him these past few weeks. Fans have been questioning his resolve in staying in EXO. Just because he signed up to do a Chinese show called 'Go Fighting'. It's actually nice to see him excited about something from his home country. He's never even home. Always in a foreign country. Same goes for Tao. They've all been giving so much hate. I don't like it at all. They should give them lots of love instead, so they don't leave. Not that I'm saying that's why Kris or Luhan left. Not at all. They must have their reasons. 

He stirs a little and turns around. He is now facing me. His lips are forming a little smile. I wonder what he's dreaming about. I always do. Like those times he said something in Chinese. I want to know what goes on in that little, brilliant head of his. Because he is brilliant. He composes so much and even writes lyrics for songs. I know he's been working on a special song. And besides that he's a brilliant choreographer and dancer. He's been working with the rookies a lot lately. They're so lucky to have him. And they know they are. They always tell him so. It makes him feel awkward and appreciated at the same time. He's such a cutie. 

"Why are you staring at me?" he suddenly says. 

I hadn't noticed his eyes had opened. . Busted. 

"I don't know. You looked so peaceful while sleeping..." I say and he smiles.    

"I looked cute right?" he eyes me. "I like it when you look at me like that. That smile says it all."

"Damn it, Yixing. Don't be so amazing, okay? I might even kiss you in front of everyone", I whisper.

"I dare you", he winks. 

"I've just had my hair and make-up done. I look amazing for the first time in months and I'm not planning on ruining that by kissing you", I smile. 

"You always look amazing. You don't need make-up or pretty clothes to do that", he compliments me. I blush and turn away a little. "Hey, don't be like that."

"I can't help it, I always blush like this when you say stuff like that!" 

"Yixing? Hair and make-up, please!" we hear someone yell and he gets up. But not before brushing his hand against mine. My heart flutters and I do my best not to faint. He always has this kind of effect on me. Is it ever going to change? God, I hope not. 

A while later everyone is done and we're called into the studio. We have to do some kind of intro. The boys have to. I have to sit in the dark, backstage, until they call my name to pitch in. After a good half hour of watching they finally call me over to the stage. It has some kind of live audience. I didn't know this. God, I hope this audience doesn't have some of those crazy fans from earlier in them. 

I sit down in my chair, which is in the middle of all the boys. They all encourage me. 

"Just look at how the boys are cheering her on!" the presenter says. "It's so cute to see!"

"We just want her to be at ease", Suho tells her.

"That's absolutely the cutest thing I've ever seen! What does she mean to you guys?" she asks them. 

Tao answers: "She's like a younger sister who acts like a mom. Kind of like Suho sometimes. But of course, Suho always has more power than her. I guess we just want to protect her in some kind of way." 

"So what makes her kind of like a mother?" she asks on.

"She makes breakfast because we're too lazy to do it ourselves! She just made eggs and toast this morning!" Xiumin answers this. 

Everyone kind of looks surprised that Xiumin spoke out of himself. He usually doesn't do that. 

"Aww, that's cute! So, Ella, what are the boys like when no one sees them?" she finally asks me. 

"They're pretty much like they are now, but less composed. They're so free and playful. It's amazing to live with them. At times it's kind of exhausting, but in a good way!" I try not to give away too much. 

"We're pretty hyper all the time..." Baekhyun admits. 

"And, is there a romance with someone in the band?" she asks me again. I almost tense up. 

"No, I'm not here to have a romance. I'm here to do my job and to enjoy my stay in a beautiful country with these amazing people. Did you know they flew out my best friend for me? Because I felt a little homesick?" I smile at the though.

"You should just go back, then!" Someone from the audience shouts. 

Chen gets up very quick. He seems kind of angry. But Kyungsoo holds him back. 

"I'm going to say this only once. To all the fans out there..." Kyungsoo says in a very monotone voice. "We've had to deal with this earlier on too. In the parking lot. I am very disappointed with you guys. You've been giving Ella such hate when all she does is keep you updated on how we're doing. She literally your only way into our lives. And you ruin it by calling her names and threatening her? It's not okay to do this kind of stuff! She's an amazing human being who cares about our welfare. More than she cares about her own. And you guys take all the fun away. Leave her be. We get very upset about these kind of things. She doesn't deserve this. She's a very close friend of all of us. We're asking you to accept her into your hearts and stop this crazy stuff. Please?" Kyungsoo pleads for me on a nation wide broadcast.