I end up going back to bed where Yixing is patiently waiting for me to return. He just sits there and pats on the spot next to him. I climb in and get comfortable against the cushions once again. I try not to be so aware of him next to me. But who am I even kidding? Before, I was sick and was thinking about nothing else than getting better. But now I'm feeling better and I notice just how close he is to me. He's still here. Even though I feel better and probably look better too. He's not leaving just yet. And that makes my heart race. 

"How was your day today? I mean, before you came to clean up my mess and take care of me..." I ask him, trying to distract myself. 

"Practice was hard, we sang some new songs for the new album. I love the new songs!" He exclaimed. "We're going to do a comeback soon. With a new song. But I'm not telling you what it is. You're still a journalist!" 

He winks at me and I kind of feel offended by it. He still thinks of me as a journalist and not a friend he can talk to about this kind of thing. 

"I can keep quiet. Not everything I experience here will be in the journal when I get back home you know..." I say, a little discontent. 

He notices and turns to face me. He picks up my hand and takes it in his both, very large hands. 
"I know, but I just can't talk to you about all of this just yet. I kind of trust you, but it's hard for me okay? I've been through a lot and trust is something that has to be earned with me..." He confesses. 
I look into his eyes the whole time and I can see what he's saying. He's been hurt before. It still stings. That's when I ask myself how he got hurt. Was it because of Kris and Luhan? Or was it something that happened way before that? Something that scarred him for life? 

"I understand. Forget about it. It's okay. I get what it's like to get hurt. And from the looks of it, it must've been really bad", I say while looking down at our joint hands. 

"Don't worry about it too much... Things will be alright. I promise you", he says while lifting my head to look into my eyes. 

I almost close them so he can kiss me. But that's when he lets go of my hand and turns back to the screen again. I feel so disappointed but I get it. The wounds are too fresh. I need to keep my distance from him from now on. He needs to have some time to think about whether he can trust me or not. 
"Maybe you should go?" I ask him, not wanting him to leave. 

"Maybe I should. But I don't want to. Not just yet", he says. "I just want to make sure you're okay. I'll go when you're asleep, okay?" 

"Okay."

So he keeps his promise. He stays with me. We laugh at the Korean drama that's playing. It's a good one. We tell jokes and he tells me stuff about the boys. And how the meeting from today is rescheduled to take place tomorrow. I tell him about home. How things are back there. And he listens, carefully. Like there's no place he'd rather be. 

After a while I finally fall asleep. We spent so much time talking about trivial things that I hadn't realised how tired I actually was. I dream about Yixing sleeping next to me and staying with me, but I know that he left as soon as I fell asleep. I dream about all the things I want to say to him, but knowing this is not a manga or anime or even a Korean drama. This is real life, people have real problems and real feelings. I try not to go there in my dreams, but eventually I always end up there. The place where I'm scared. I'm scared of losing people I love. 

I wake up with a jolt. I'm sweating and panting. I try to grab the pillow below to smother an upcoming scream. Instead I find a person lying next to me. I turn over to turn on the lamp on my bedside table. When I look back to the place I found the person I see it's Yixing. He fell asleep here too. He even kicked off the covers but he didn't cover himself. I study him for a moment. He's absolutely adorable when he sleeps. He seems to have no worries. His breath is heavy and he's totally relaxed. I bend over to cover him with the sheets he kicked off. He might as well get a good night's rest while he's here anyway. When I cover him he seems to mumble something in what I assume is Chinese. He turns around to face me and grabs me. He pulls me towards his chest and his grip is strong. I can't pull back without waking him up somehow. And he seems so fast asleep. I don't want to take advantage of this kind of situation. But I really don't want to wake him up. He seems like he needs all the sleep he can get. So I decide to rest my head and fall asleep again. The beat of his heart is a perfect lullaby. And I'm off again. 

When I wake up I'm a bit disoriented. I don't know where I am or what kind of pillow I'm resting on but it's a damn good one. Then I hear a familiar sound: Ba-dump. I realise it's Yixing's heartbeat. I jolt up and look at him with a red face. But he's already awake and has been for quite some time by the looks of it. 

"I didn't want to wake you up", he tells me with to little guilty smile. "How did we even end up like this?"

"Well, you were asleep when I woke up but you didn't have any sheets so I tucked you in and then you kind of grabbed me, said something in Chinese and went back to sleep. I didn't want to wake you up as you seemed to be sleeping so soundly. So I decided to let it be... I hope you don't mind..." I explain.

"It's okay. It was my fault anyways. And I didn't push you away when I woke up, did I?" He tells me and slowly starts to get up. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't be! You're cute when you sleep! Almost like a bunny", he winks at me while walking over to the dresser where he left his phone the day before. 

"Go get ready, we have to be at headquarters in about an hour", he says before walking into the living room. 

I'm so embarrassed but intrigued at the same time. He didn't push me away? Instead he just watched me sleep. And told me I'm cute, basically. Oh, how he confuses me. I walk over to the closet and pick out the dress I was originally going to wear the first time we met in a professional atmosphere. It's a black one that fits tightly and isn't too short. It just says: I mean business. I pin up my hair and do my make-up. When I'm done I take a good look in the mirror and I approve of myself. I slip into my black pumps and I'm off to the living room. 

"I hope it's not too much...", I say while walking in. 

Yixing turns around and his jaw literally drops a few inches. He collects himself and tries to clear his throat. I smile a little and walk over to him. 

"What? Lost your speech?" I ask him and wink. 

"I didn't know you owned clothes like that..." He chokes out. 

"Clothes like what? This is what I usually wear when I work", I explain, watching him recollect himself once again. 

"Wow, ehm. Sorry. It's just that you look really nice..." He says while averting his eyes. 

"Yeez, we slept in the same bed and you saw me puking and cared for me. Don't get shy now..." I turn around and walk away to get my purse. 

Suddenly he's behind me with a hand on my hip. I don't dare to move. He comes closer and his lips are next to my ear. 

"You look beautiful. If I worked with you I'd be coming by your office every day", he whispers in a soft voice.

"And I'd let you." 

The tension in the room increased. I turn around and now I'm face to face with him. I've never ever been this close to his face before. I can see every inch of it. He looks into my eyes and I want to mean in to kiss him. But I'm too stubborn. I want him to be the one to make the first move here. I want him to fulfil my dreams. I wait and his hand goes up to my face. He my cheek with the back of his hand and fingers. I almost lose it right there and then. His hand cups my cheek. 

Then there's a knock on the door and the spell is broke. He steps away and shakes his head, causing his hair to fall into his eyes. I walk over to the door to answer it. I need to put some distance between us. When I open the door it's my personal driver. 

"S.M. Entertainment called me and told me to come get you. You have to be at headquarters in half an hour. We better hurry", he says while I walk out. 

Yixing is right behind me, with a very red face. The driver watches us both before shaking his head in disbelief. 

"You're driver will be waiting for you downstairs, sir. You can't arrive together or there will be rumours. If you'd be so kind as to wait a few minutes to come after us?" My driver tells him. 

Yixing nods and let's me go off with the driver. He stares at the ground and doesn't say anything. What is going on here? I've never seen something like this before. 

"What's going on?" I ask my driver when we're in the elevator. 

"Management has been looking for him since last night. But they couldn't find him. They can't know you spend the night together..." He tells me. 

"But we didn't. I was really sick and he came to help me. Nothing happened..." 

"No one's going to believe that, sweetie..." 

I stay quiet. Is this really such a big deal? Was he supposed to be somewhere last night? Can't he stay out? I don't understand this foreign country at all. 

We get into the car and drive off. I put on my iPod and listen to some BTS. I need to calm down before I get there. We pass several tall building and suddenly stop. 

"We're here." 

I get out and walk up the steps I walked a few days ago. It feels different. I'm not here to have fun. I'm here for business. I'm here to be a professional. I walk up and the drivers leads me to an elevator. We end up in one of the conference rooms and I sit down. Now I have to wait for the boys to get here. I'm so nervous. 

I decide to text Lay while I'm waiting. 

'Is everything okay?' 

'It will be.' Is all he says. 

'I'm very sorry I got you into trouble.' 

'It's my own fault. Don't apologize.' 

I stare out in front of me. 

"Where the hell is everybody?" I hear someone say as he walks in. It's Suho. "Well, don't you look great!" He tells me as I'm about to cry.