The One That Got Away
Requested by: ArielVip
Reviewer: Yoon_Jeonghan
Review Requested: July 8th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: July 10th, 2015
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Title: (6/10)
The title isn't really creative but it works. I am not quite sure how it relates to the story but it's probably because the story isn't finished yet. The title sounds cliche but sometimes cliche is good. In this story, the title leaves an impression of a deep, moralistic feeling.

Foreword: (8/15)
No layout, but a layout is not always required for a good story. Nothing much is done except for bold words. The author gives a brief summary, although not much is described, the summary does its job.

Characters: (12/20)
The character intorduction was well written in Lee Hi's case, but not for the BTS boys and other characters. I also find their personalities to be very overused by other authors. There isn't much character development in the story, but it's probably because the story has not been finished. I found Lee Hi quite annoying and useless in the story even though she was the protagonist.

Narative Elements: (21/30)
First person was used in the story which I believe was a great idea as the story involves crime and ghost. Using first person allows the readers to experience first hand on what the characters are feeling and I believe the author has made good use of it in the story. Although I like the way the author used first person, in the first chapter, the first few paragraphys, I'm not sure if it was a mistake, but the author used second person instead which was really confusing because I kept wondering who the main character was. The author does not state much about the setting which I believe can be described more. There were few grammatical errors which made me really happy and thankful as I hate reading storys with constant mistakes.

Plot and Theme: (21/35)
Death was used as a theme in the story and I love stories with death in it because it elicits many feelings from the readers. However, I think that the death scene could be described more in a gruesome manner which can really bring out many emotions and create a great scene. Like stated in the previous point, Jin died pretty quickly and the scene was not wholly described properly. If the scene were to be later in the story and represented correctly, I believe that this could be a great turning point for the story. Not much has happened yet since the author hasn't finished the story, but the death of Jin should be placed further in the story and the friendship of BTS and Lee Hi should develop properly before it. I thought the story was kind of rushed and unplanned. Jin died so quickly and the BTS boys kind of disappear, then new random characters are introduced. No plot twists yet, creativity however is somewhat lacking as the storyline is quite similar to some of the ones on AFF.

Entertainment Factors: (6/10)
I found it very interesting, but with proper planning this story can be a ton times better. Jin died so quickly, my heart hurts yet at the same time it got me excited, made me think a lot about what would happen next and I was interested for the few chapters. I hope the author finishes the story.

Overall Score: (74/120)

REVIEWER'S NOTE:
The story was interesting, though the plot isn't that creative, however it can be improved with the addition of plot twists. The death of Jin should be pushed back further in the story and the first few chapters should focus on the relationship between Lee Hi and the BTS boys. It should build up to the scene and when the scene finally occurs, it should go off with a BANG! which I believe will evoke many great emotions. Overall, I think it was a good story to read. It wasn't great but with proper planning, character development and better descriptions, this story could be the top! 

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