Blinded Flower
Review Requested By: Betxso
Reviewer: rectangular_smile
Review Requested: August 13th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: August 18th, 2015
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Title (6/10)
I really like your title. It was sweet and very relevant to the story plot. 'Blinded Flower'. Although, you could make it more interesting and angsty. I still find this pretty amazing and catchy.
But, still it somehow was weak and could have been so much better seeing the potential you have. ^^ 

Foreword (15/20)
Perfect foreword. It was super interesting and I found myself drawn to it. However, I did spot some mistakes you made. Such as: 

.. A story where a blind girl, discovered that her fated one was the one ...

You should have made the verb 'discovered' with an 'S' instead of past sentence, like:

A story where a blind girl discovers that her fated one was the one ....

The other sentence was similar too. When you write the foreword in your style, you should notice what kind of grammar you use. In your situation, present tense is what you should go with, then in your story, you can do whatever tense you want. 

Characters (20/20)
I really enjoyed reading her interactions with the boys. They were so funny and cute to read. I also liked the fact she didn't grow up to be a depressed girl who hates the world even though her life isn't the best life out there.

Narrative Elements (28/30)
I really enjoyed what I read. It was heartwarming and very relatable to real-life, even though the story was fantasy. I was really confused at the beginning of the story where you mentioned 'Yoongi' and 'Suga' as two different people but then I saw they weren't the same. Kekeke, I felt really stupid that time.
I haven't spotted any grammatical mistakes or any kind of typos which is a bonus and makes a story easy going and easy to read. There is one simple mistake I spotted however which is:

But they didn't opened their mouth. Suga, who was the one watching the scene 

Since you have 'didn't' in your sentence the verb following it must not be in past tense. Your sentence should be:

But they didn't open their mouth. Suga, who was the one watching the scene.

Plot & Theme (35/35)
I really like your plot. It was super new and not so many people dare to make a blind OC. I also really liked the fact she had a guide - a freaking cute one - to tell her where she should go. I'm a bit surprised no one had ever thought of her being blind and were completely clueless in the situation. But then again, nobody would have thought about it, I didn't.

Entertainment Factors (10/10)
I really enjoyed this story. It was beautifully written and I found myself scrolling down to read more. I really wanted it to be a chaptered story so I could see a lot of BTS and Jangmi's interaction. They were so cute.

Overall Score (108/120) *This story has been added to the Hall of Fame*

Note: I would really recommend this story to you guys, its a piece of art**^^

Reviewer's Song Choice: