Campus Crush
Requested by: Shunpao
Reviewer: Yoon_Jeonghan
Review Requested: July 12th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: July 15th, 2015
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Title: (7/10)
The title, although sounds very simple, gives the story a cutesy impression. It was simple and cute, however it is overly used for many stories, but the revelance to the story makes up for it.

Foreword: (9/15)
No layout was used, but a layout is not required for a good story. The description was simply good. It didn't really describe what was going to happen in the story, but kind of gave an overview of what the main characters were like, which was fine, but sometimes readers like to depend of the summary to see if they are interested or not.

Characters: (16/20)
There wasn't any character introduction. The author didn't describe how the main characters looked, but the way the author wrote about their actions and how they spoke, gave me a clue about their personality and behaviour. The character development was fast-paced which was written well with the story. It flowed with it and did not lag behind, which kept me really interested.

Narative Elements: (24/30)
The narration of the story was great. The way the author used second person throughout the story and it was constantly, which made the story flow. There were few minor mistakes, like using present tense when the right tense should be past. The sentences sometimes didn't flow and sounded awkward, and the setting wasn't really described.

Plot and Theme: (29/35)
The plot was cliche, however the author made use of it well, and described the situations perfectly. The descriptions were well written and the use of having a crush was taken to the next level. The author wrote about the main characters crushing on each and illustrated it really well. It made the relationship between the two characters awkward yet clumsy and cute. The addition of the chicken was really weird and awkward, but it adds on greatly to the plot. The ending was cute and the chicken sound at the end only added to it. Pio pi!

Entertainment Factors: (9/10)
Overall, the story was very cute and quirky. It was interesting throughout and made me cringe at it's sweetness and fluff. I really enjoyed it, especially the scene where the character's friends are introduced. The author made the friends look important in the story through their actions which was really great. I really enjoyed it and really recommend it to people looking for a story full of smiles.

Overall Score: (94/120)

REVIEWER'S NOTE:
I really enjoyed this oneshot and I really recommend it to the readers. There wasn't much needed to be edited, but I do hope the author looks over the story and edit some of the errors. The story was lovely, cute and very awkward which made it funny and cringe worthy. It was a great story and I loved it. Pio pi!
 

Reviewer's Song Choice: