*calling CherryL101 | Half A Man
ℝookie ℝeviews | A Review Shop | Closed & Catching Up (Please Read Chapter 68)Half A Man
Review Requested By: CherryL101
Reviewer: HeadToToesLove (In place of JungAddicted)
Review Requested: August 3rd, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: September 1st, 2015
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Note: I am so sorry this took so long, even after it was passed onto me. I hope this doesn't ruin your impression of our shop, and if you request in the future, it won't happen again. \(T^T)/
Also, since it's a longer story, I also just focused on the important aspects I thought you needed to work on in the story, rather than going deeply in depth like I would for a shorter one. Hope that's alright.
Title (7/10)
I've seen your title quite often with other angst stories, but your plot brings a different meaning to it, so it's not too negative.
Foreword (10/15)
To be honest, the layout you have for both the foreword and your chapters makes the text a bit hard to read. It's too small and too narrow, and the line-height bunches it together. I actually had to click the 'Make Readable' button to see it and read properly. That's something I've never done before, no matter how hard to read, but with this layout I did. I suggest tweaking it a bit to at least spread the line-height out some. It's okay enough for the foreword, but for the chapters, it's not.
Other than that, your foreword was good. Your description didn't reveal too much. However, I'm not a huge fan of ending descriptions in questions, because it's cliche, but it's not too bad with yours.
Characters (10/20)
Alright, so I don't want this to sound harsh, but you need to work on your character portrayal. Even though this is story is , your characters are still men. And, I get that you may be a woman, so it's not easy writing like that, but your characters are too feminine. Both of them are, especially Jiyong. They need to be more masculine for the story to be realistic.
Narrative Elements (25/30)
I love your writing style in the beginning. It's so dark and ominous. It got me excited and thrilled. It's interesting how you use the characters POV to switch in between present and past, reality and dream. It's unique, and I don't know if I've seen a style like this before. Or not as well done, anyway.
I did notice mistakes here and there, but I think proofreading and editing a bit would solve most of them.
Plot & Theme (30/35)
I have to say, your plot is unique, at least to me. I liked it. It kept me on the edge of my seat while reading it. Your character portrayal did take away a bit, but not much.
Entertainment Factors (8/10)
I enjoyed reading your story a lot. These kinds of stories are always enjoyable for me, and I know anyone who likes psychological thrillers would love this.
Overall Score (90/120)
Reviewer's Song Choice:
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