*calling CrazzGurl | Promises... (by alihsniffira)
ℝookie ℝeviews | A Review Shop | Closed & Catching Up (Please Read Chapter 68)Promises...
Requested By: CrazzGurl (author: alihsniffira)
Reviewer: JungAddicted
Review Requested: July 4th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: July 15th, 2015
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(Sorry for the long wait)
Title (6/10)
Foreword (9/15)
Characters (13/20)
Narrative Elements (15/30)
Plot & Theme (20/35)
Entertainment Factors (6/10)
Overall: (69/120)
REVIEWER'S NOTE:
Overall, the story is quite good, but the only problem is that there are a lot of mistakes regarding the English. I don't really mind grammar or typo errors; yet, the mistakes that you made may lead to confusion.
Example: "Anyway, what brought you until knocked my precious desk?"
The format of the story is very simple; rather than a fanfic, the format is more likely to be the format of a fairy tale or a childrens book, or an essay that our teacher usually gives when we are still in primary school.
"Kyungsoo walked out from his house. He just moved there 2 days ago."
Instead of writting it that way, you could write it this way:
"It has been two days since (Kyungsoo / he) moved to his new house. One day, his mother asked him to play outside while his parents started to unpack things. He is not the type to make new friends easily; yet, for once, he wanted to have a friend. A friend he could count on."
Reviewer's Song Choice:
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