Baby, Sing Me To Sleep
Review Requested By: prowlingwolf
Reviewer: HeadToToesLove
Review Requested: July 22nd, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: July 22nd 2015
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Title (10/10)
I thought the title was perfect. Xiumin is not only a singer, and Luhan his 'number one fan' (secret admirer) desperate for his attention, but I feel it also has a deeper meaning. I may be reading too much into all of this, but I like to find parallels and meanings there, that sometimes even the author's don't realize they have. From what I've gathered so far about Xiumin and Luhan's characters, they're both looking for content. They're desperate for a lullaby to lull them to sleep. Not a literal lullaby, but a metaphoric lullaby that represents relief and self-freedom. A lullaby of endearment and salvation. This is all in my opinion, anyway. The title is perfect.
\(^o^)/

Foreword (15/15)
Your foreword is also perfect. I always say that plain and simple is best. You didn't use a layout, and nothing was over complicated. Plain, simple, and to the point. The description doesn't reveal too much, but introduces the characters and sets up the plot, and makes the readers want to know the fate of the protagonists (or antagonists, if there are any). 
I absolutely loved the underlined part:

Welcome to the mess that is Silver Wings.

Sit back.

Relax.

And let us sing you to sleep.

It makes the readers feel invited in, so everything that happens after they click the next button is seemingly in their hands (even though you're the one writing it). It gives them a sense of control; it was very smart and creative. I love it.

Characters (19/20)
I love how you've portrayed your characters in a way that isn't often seen with the fandom.
Xiumin is the sensual singer with a troubled home life, who only wants to make it big.
Luhan is the cold and hardened antagonistic protagonist that you can't help but both love and hate, due to his personality.
I adore Sehun's accent, and he and Kai being in their kind of relationship is unexpected. But, they make it work (so far, anyway). There isn't much to say about Kris and Tao, because it's only got two chapters, and there's still so much to learn, but I'm sure they'll be just as complicated and delicate as the others. And I look forward to Chen's appearance, and to see just how he plays a roll in everything.
With Luhan, the characterization was so... new and fresh, I found myself immediately drawn into his character. The line: 

"He was going to Jongin so hard tonight, that he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between him and Xiumin."

Literally made me gulp, and it gave a new look onto what would normally be the bubbly, trying-too-hard-to-be-manly character that Luhan is portrayed as in just about every other fic.

Narrative Elements (28/30)
Everything about this story was so damn near perfect. I literally fan-girled when I started reading it because of all the imagery and your ornate and intricate descriptions. It's so easy to visual everything, and it literally throws the readers, head first, into the story, and they see it all as if they were there. The were a few typos, but everything was still so perfect, it honestly wouldn't scare a single soul away. I've pointed them out, but they aren't that big of a deal, and couple were just awkward sentence structures that could be a bit confusing to readers.

What You Wrote:
A smaller stage sits off from the main one, away from the slow dancers and they tailored moves.

they ---> their

What You Wrote:
Luhan eyes rolls into the back of his head as he takes continuous drags, a heavy frown wrinkled into the corners of his lips as he lets the thick gas swell in his throat and crawl burns along the slim line of tissue and muscle.

Luhan ---> Luhan's

What You Wrote:
"Now, get one of the dancer's tell him that I need make up done and a costume."

There should some form of punctuation after the he tells him the get one of the dancers (also, there shouldn't be an apostrophe, there. Just 'dancers') or you need to put a conjunction (i.e and/then). 

Ex. "...dancers and tell him..." 
or
"...dancers, then tell him..."
or
"...dancers. Tell him..."

What You Wrote:
"Right, thanks, you're dismissed." Kris moans out the words breathless, brow furrowing as he leans his body over Tao's pressing himself against the boy and curling his fingers in the black locks he wears upon his head.

Breathless ---> breathlessly (it sounds less awkward)

There should be a comma after 'Tao's' or else it becomes a run-on sentence.

Ex. "...body over Tao's, pressing..."

Plot & Theme (35/35)
I was hooked with your plot the moment I read the first sentence. I am a er for angst stories, and psychological thrillers. This story and plot is beautiful, and I can honestly say I will continue reading even after I post this review. It's only been two chapters, and it's already so amazing!!!
You don't see fics like this often (or at least I haven't. I don't really read Exo fics anymore, so this was a nice change, and I have something to look forward to now).
In fact, when you finish it, if you'd like, you should come and request another review with the finished product.

Entertainment Factors (10/10)
I enjoyed this story beyond belief, and I can't wait until I get to read more. You've captured me with this, and I don't even want to escape from it. I love it so far, and I want to thank you for writing this. I rarely get this excited over stories like I have with this, but as a fellow writer, you got me all riled up with your alluring writing style and descriptions. Your style is beautiful. Keep it up!! 

Overall Score (117/120) **This story has been added to the Hall of Fame**

Reviewer's Song Choice: