A Tale to Tell
Review Requested By: SilentlyWriting
Reviewer: HeadToToesLove
Review Requested: August 29th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: September 2nd, 2015
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Title (7/10)
It's an idiom. I lurv it \(^~^)/
However, it's also been used quite a bit before, so it's not the most unique title in the world.
 

Foreword (12/15)
Your foreword is good. Plain, but not ugly. There a couple mistakes which I've shown below, but other than that it's perfect.

1. "They are beautiful when you see it from far, but the truth is, they're only big rocks with lights, and when you get too close to it, you’ll get burned.” He continues. “So, when I knew these facts, I immediately don't want to get too close with them.”

-->"So, when I know these facts, I immediately don't want to get too close with them." ['knew' is past tense, and dialogue shouldn't be in past, it should be in present]

Characters (17/20)
Your characters are kind of confusing (personality-wise) which is what I suppose you were going for. If that's the case, then good job! I liked the contrast between all of them, and Jaebum and Youngjae's role is so much more important than anyone could ever know.

Narrative Elements (20/30)
In your author note at the bottom, you said English is not your first language, so it's understandable the mistakes you have, and they aren't blinding and hard to figure out. I'm not going to point any out, cause I don't think it's all that necessary. If you want to improve upon it yourself though, you can always hire a beta reader, and ask them to give you notes on your mistakes so you can learn from them. But, there's nothing to worry about the mistakes that you have. Often mistakes make it hard to read, but yours are simple. (^~^)/
Note: I will say this. If you do decide to hire a beta reader or ask a native speaker to help you, I'd be sure to focus on tenses, because most of your mistakes appear to be switching from past and present. I will give you one example of that, so you get what I mean.

Ex. They’ve been doing this for an hour but there was still no conspicuous result yet.

---> They'd been doing this for an hour, but there was still no conspicuous result yet. ['They've' is short for 'They have' and it's present tense. 'They'd' is short for 'They had' and is past tense, which is what you should have used]

Sometimes your word order made things confusing, so be on the look out for that, too.

Plot & Theme (33/35)
Okay, I want to say this, because I honestly spazzed (in a good way) when I finished this story. Your plot is so amazing. I've never seen anything like it, and I certainly did not expect that ending. Excellent job. I can genuinely say that, no matter the mistakes you have in grammar and in English, this story is well worth reading simply because of this beautiful plot. I can't get enough of it. \(^o^)/

Entertainment Factors (9/10)
I enjoyed this story immensely ^^

Overall Score (98/120)

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