The Messenger
Review Requested By: -Tigress-
Reviewer: rectangular_smile
Review Requested: August 1st, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: August 11th, 2015
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Title (6/10)
To be honest, the title wasn't original. You could have done so much better than this. You could have named it after the journey of Ailee to the king, knowing just how hard it was and how many obstacles she received from the road.

Foreword (20/20)
The foreword was perfect, pretty much - small and filling. I can really imagine what's gonna happen next and it wasn't so exposing at the same time. 

Characters (20/20)
There wasn't much interaction with the main protagonist and anyone else beside the council members so I can't really judge it, but from what I saw of your writing style and the extra information about everyone who appeared in the story, I would say you really nailed it. The fighting scene and the way she rides her horse or the light conversation she had with the council members, all in all, they were perfect.

Narrative Elements (30/30)
Since this is not the first story I read of yours, I would say the same thing again. I really really like your vocabulary. It's really impressive and I was in awe with it. You have perfect grammar and just perfect everything. Your style was amazing and I have absolutely nothing to say.

Plot & Theme (15/35)
However; I really think the story was pointless and a bit boring. There is no plot. She is just a messenger who deliver messages. You should actually make a story of this one shot where you give other side stories and other Original Characters because, to be quite frank here, it wasn't amusing. It wasn't a story I wanted to read. I'm sorry if I seemed harsh, but you need to make more complicated plot, because this story has so much potential that I'm afraid it would go to waste.

Entertainment Factors (5/10)
I quite didn't like the story. It was plain. It was raw. I couldn't find a taste in it where I truly enjoyed it, even if it was written perfectly. The plot was weak, maybe if there were more interaction with different characters - you could have added a friend to Ailee, or a love interest maybe - it could have made the story popular because as I said, this story has a lot of potential.

Overall Score (96/120)
Note: Sorry for the late review! I was busy with my own story!! Again, I'm terribly sorry! Wish my words weren't hurtful!!!

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