Half Life
Review Requested By: sekaii
Reviewer: rectangular_smile
Review Requested: July 26th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: July 29th, 2015
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Title (8/10)
From the unique aspect, the originality is there. I felt it the moment I clicked on the title. It was a special title that reflected angst the moment you see it, however; it would have been much better if you wrote it as 'half a life'. The absence of the 'a' has dropped that amazing sense of originality if I can be totally honest with you, Add the 'a' to it and you'll be good to go, because it is an amazing, relevant title.

Foreword (10/15)
The forward was short and didn't reveal much which is good, but it still doesn't give the reader a clue on whats on the story which causes boredom. I would say that it wasn't eye catching or interesting, yes short and affective, but wasn't a forward that can hook a reader.

Characters (18/20)
Since the story is still at its beginning and not so many characters were introduced, I won't judge much. The two characters that did appear however were introduced briefly but beautifully, the short introduction might be because they are going to appear further and get their fair share of introduction, so far what you did was good enough to catch one's attention. 

Narrative Elements (27/30)
The reading was easygoing even though you used lots of uncommon and unused words. It made the story more serious looking and i was truly amazed. A thing every author needs to know is that the diversity in nouns and verbs is so much appreciated and gives the story a unique touch and beautiful style that not so many people can copy or imitate. I was truly amazed with the vocabulary you have and it made the story more approachable to me. 

However there were few mistakes in grammar that I spotted even though they were little, like this..

                    The box was placed on top of an another, more than what he had asked for.

You don't need to write 'an' when there is the word 'another' and the sentence should be written like this .

         The box was placed on top of another, more than what he had asked for.

And there is this. 

 

         Humans were the unwanted inhabitants upon this land, but he was a exception.
 

 Since there is the vowel letter 'e' in the beginning of 'exception' you should have wrote 'an' instead of 'a'. 

              
Humans were the unwanted inhabitants upon this land, but he was an exception.

Those are the only mistakes I found.

Plot and theme (35/35)
The plot seems pretty interesting. As I said, the story is at its peak so I can't judge anything besides what I have been seeing, and what I did see was amazing. The way you describe things were amazing and even though I was literally screaming what the hell is going on, I was so excited to know what's going to happen next, what are those medicines Myungsoo is drinking and whats with the illness that little girl had.. Anyway, this was perfect. I really enjoyed reading what you posted^^

Entertainment factors (10/10)
I really enjoyed reading this story, even though the main foreword had no hook. The story itself can pull you deeper into wanting to know what's going to happen next. I think it's the most important thing! I also wasn't bored at all, I kept getting excited at every word I read and I really enjoyed the story^^

Overall score: (108/120)

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