*calling Xenaphobic | Little Lay Tale
ℝookie ℝeviews | A Review Shop | Closed & Catching Up (Please Read Chapter 68)
Little Lay Tale
Requested By: Xenaphobic
Reviewer: JungAddicted
Review Requested: July 4th, 2015
Review Completed & Posted: July 12th, 2015
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Title (6/10)
Foreword (8/15)
Characters (8/20)
Narrative Elements (24/30)
Plot and Theme (20/35)
Entertainment Factors (6/10)
Overall: (72/120)
REVIEWERS'S NOTE:
The title is quite good and you put your own sparks into it.
The flow is not cluttered as it is easy to read, but I do have one question, which is, why is the story written in the foreword? It didint bother me that much though. Just be sure to use the foreword for an author note, click 'add chapter' after it's save, and post it in it's own chapter. Then mark it complete, since it's a one shot.
The plot is very common as many other authors have written about his disease; even the process of the story is very common too; he trips and then hurts himself, hospital, someone cries and worries about him and so on. It was predictable.
Character's introduction were not present. This is actually very fatal since your character need background information. The bakcground information is needded to balance the story.
I do feel like this is more to a scenario rather than a fanfic considering the depth of the theme. However, the theme was delievered nicely to the reader.
The conflict and the resolution is pretty simple, which was supposed to be more complex if youre aiming to get your story to be noticed, considering the amount of people who have written this type of story. (i.e. If you want to get notice, make it stick out more and change it up a little)
Plot twists were not present so we all know from the beginning what would be likely to happen.
If it is possible to add a plot twist, I would think that your story would pop-out more.
I must say that I enjoyed the story as it is easy to read since there's not much intensity. A light and enjoyable read.
Reviewer's Song Choice:
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