"Please help me.." 

That's the last thing I remembered. Shouting and crying for help. Everything happened felt like a nightmare, the things I'm scared to happen just came when I didn't expect it. I know I'm off to London after that night, but I don't remember getting in a plane, didn't remember packing my last minutes stuffs. I moved my eyes as I try to raise my fingers. The summer stars, I remembered them.

I successfully opened both of my eyes, I'm staring at the white blank ceiling but this is not the one I knew. This is not our practice room. I moved my eyes and no one's beside me. "Mom.." I called. 

A white uniformed lady came in the room. A nurse? I'm at hospital? Wait, what time is it? My flight is morning, wait I'm late. I started to get conscious with everything and tried to get up. 

"Miss Park, don't worry everything is okay." She smiled at me.

"What do you mean don't worry? I am late in my flight to London. What time is it?" I shouted. "Where's my Mom?" I tried to move my legs but they are casted. 

CASTED, I was shocked seeing my both legs up to my feet wrapped up with large bandages and were lifted up. "What's this? Let me get off now. I can walk." 

"Yes, you can walk, jump and run when you get off those things wrapped in your legs. But you can't dance anymore. You can't do ballet forever." I heard a familiar voice at the back of the nurse. "You are nothing now, Park Shinhye." 

I was tormented. What is she saying? Is this a dream? I tried to move my legs again. "Get this off me, NOW!" I cried. "I'm late for my flight." 

My Mom signaled the nurse to get out of my room, the nurse looked at me on her most pitiful way, looking at me. I bit my lips. "I'm late.." I whispered. 

My Mom sit on the couch. "Late?" She smirked. "You've been lying there for three days!" She shouted. 

I cupped my face with my hands. No! This can't be. No, please. 
I tried to stand again, I unwrapped my legs personally, because I want to know the truth. 

"Yes, let's get off the bandage. If that's what you want. Let you witness the outcome of your stupidity. Let you witness how come you are nothing now, Park Shinhye." My Mom glared at me and tried to force the bandage out. I winced. "It hurts? That's nothing the pain you'll receive once you get out of this hospital." She said to me. 

"Aaaaahhhhhh!" I shouted. "Mom... please.." I cried again as I witness my wounded legs, my poor feet. I tried to stand slowly, without my Mom's help. 

She was just staring at me. I wiped my tears and I stand straightly. My tears are falling with happiness when I stood. "I can stand, Mom." I smiled at her. 

Mom smirked at me. "Try to turn and dance." 

"Relax Mom, I am good." I assured her. I relaxed my mind and started to tiptoe.

A smile lit on my face suddenly changed with fears. 

"You fell." She said to me. "You don't fall like that even you are three years old." 

"No, Mom. Maybe because I did not practice for three days so I'm a bit crazy right now so Mom I can---

"You can't." She roared. "You can't dance anymore." She left me. 

She just left me. I tried to stand up again. I tried to do basic simple moves on ballet but I fall every time. I can't feel the sense of being a ballerina. 

I fell hard. I sob as loud as I can't get off this feelings. "Oh God... This can't be. What is happening to me? Aaargh." I held my head. I think I'm going crazy right now. 

"Oh no, Miss!" The nurse rushed to me. 

I grabbed her uniform. "Tell me this is not true! Tell me I can dance after some therapy. Tell meee!" I sobbed on her chest.

"I'm so sorry Miss Park. But don't blame yourself, this is not your fault." She caress my hair. 

"Miss Park Shinhye." 

I raised my head and saw maybe this is doctor. "Tell me I can dance again. Just tell me I can, and everything will be all right." I begged. 

She helped me stand up and made me sit in my bed. "I'm so sorry. I don't like giving false hopes to my patients." She said. "Your legs and feet are perfectly fine, you can do what normal people do. But I'm sorry to say that your sense on ballet were lost. And I did all the research for the past three days, I failed. You can't be the ballerina Park Shinhye from now on." She touched his glass. "But it is not because of the acc---

"Stop." I gritted. "Just stop and leave me alone." 

"You know we can't leave you alone. You're under severe anxiety and we can't let something happened to you." 

"I will not something bad with myself." Then I grinned. "Don't worry you will not find a dead body here." I lay my body on the bed. "Leave me alone." I last said and tried to close eyes, as the tears slowly breaks out. 

"Well, Miss Park Shinhye if you are open to things just go and see me. I think I can answer all the things bothering you, as your doctor." She tapped my head. "We're going out now. I take your word seriously when you say we will not find a dead body here." 

I heard the door close. 
I'm alone, just like what I wanted. I'm always alone, every time.

I don't have good family, sincere friends, I don't even trust myself. I let a small smirk while my tears are falling. I'm always trapped on the world that the people around me built for me. I can't get out, even I have the keys. Because I like being in that world, I like being there because that's what grew into me. I'm so much accustomed to loneliness. 

But this time, I feel like breaking out to that world. My Mom just said I'm nothing now, I don't have friends to cry on and I don't have the courage on my own self.
And ballet has left me also. 

"You're nothing now, Shinhye. Just die." I whispered to myself as I bit my lips. "Die now."