At this point, I'm not in the position to get angry. I realized that when Euna said London is for me. I realized I'm nothing now.
I almost forgot it, .

But the thing I don't freakin understand is why Euna been like this to me. When Euna has been like this to me? Why? How?

I didn't have the courage to grab her wrist and ask her those questions. I don't even feel the broad arm of Woobin on my shoulder. Everything through my veins have stop, and I don't know if there's blood inside it.
I don't even bother.
At this point, I want to die again.

"Are you okay?" Woobin softly said to me.

"Kim Woobin, how many times I need to say to you that I don't like you. Stop fussing around." I heard Euna said to Woobin as she fix her hair. "I'm going to London already so I think I wouldn't see your tall body." She smirked.

"Why are you here?" He asked me. "Are you a fan of Yonghwa too?" He smiled. "Yonghwa has a lot of ballet fans."

I glanced at him. So, he doesn't know a thing what's going on. Maybe as well as Euna.
Nobody knows it is me that Jung Yonghwa's car bumped. I remembered Jung Yonghwa. I looked at his direction before the commotion.

I looked around.
But he's nothing to be found.
He left.

I bit my lips. "Where is he?" I whispered.

"Who? Jung Yonghwa?" Kim Woobin asked. "He left already."

I looked at Woobin, this tall guy that has a very high common sense. I find this guy very affectionate, but not romantically for crying out loud. He's wearing a national team jacket that I think he's more like bragging to the people around. I didn't respond to him hence I turned to Euna.

"Euna.."

"What?!" She asked harshly.

"You never treated me as a friend, do you?" I asked her.

She smirked at me, stepped two forward. I can smell how good she is. I smell her sweet sweats from ballet training. I miss how I smell like that too, like a mere fragrance on my body. "Never."

I gathered up my anger with all the people in the whole world. I don't give a damn to anyone now, not to my Mom, ballet, friends and most especially to Jung Yonghwa.
Everything I hope for, the love I yearned all this time, the smiles I thought were genuine, I'll bury them now.

I'll bury them as they bury my soul alive.

"Choi Euna, maybe I'll never get to do ballet anymore. But at least I knew who's real after what happened to me." I smiled. "Thank you for realizing you're not one of them." I glared at her. "Have a nice trip to London." I said to her and never looked back.

People have always carrying a dangerous invisible dagger. They will drag it to you when you trip, even when you fall asleep.
No one will help you.
No one will give you hope.
No one but yourself.

***

"I never thought you'd be so bad, Choi Euna." Woobin said to her.

She bit her lips and pushed Woobin. "You don't know what I suffered because of Shinhye. She's been the best, I'm always the second best. Don't you think it is my time now?"

"Yes, but you need to realize that it is not her fault." He explained. "I like you, Euna. And I don't want you to be blind for this lights."

"I didn't beg you to like me."

"Please don't be such a brat to her, Euna."

***

I knocked on his door. I don't have anything to go. I'm still stuck on this hospital till the nurse said I'm gonna walk perfectly fine.
I don't have somebody.

I realized that his door wasn't locked so I came in. I find him staring at the window.

"You left me there." I said.

"I don't like fans." He said, without turning.

"Oh." I remembered how painful Mom and Euna's words said to me. "I feel like dying again, Yonghwa." I honestly said to him. Honestly.

"Give me one reason."

"Everybody has left me." I cupped my face. "So, I came here."

"That's not a valid reason." He sighed. "Give me one reason on yourself."

"I'm out of love, so I want to die."

"Love?" He asked sarcastically. "So you actually dream about being in love?"

I don't really. I don't think about love. I don't know how to feel love.
This guy in front of me was the one who's at fault but ironically I'm comfortably saying my thoughts to him. Maybe we're the same.
Anyways, I can always stab him when he's into me.
I can always turn tables.

"Park Shinhye, I want you to know one thing." He turned, now facing me. "Strive for yourself. Only for yourself because in the end when everybody left you, there's little Shinhye you can rely on." He said to me. I can tell he is really serious and wants me believe him.

"I am so angry right now." I said. "And I will never get tired until they go down." Until you go down.

"That's better." He pursed his lips.

I got up and stand on his side. "Thank you." Thank you for realizing my plan for you.

"No need." He replied. "Things will be different as tomorrow comes."

"I will go here tomorrow again." I will go here tomorrow to start my plan.

He smiled. "I will not say I'll be waiting."

***

"Jung!"

He heard his Dad's voice. It is near dawn and he barge like a thief on his room.
He never expected him.

"Get up." He commanded. "You'll be discharged today."

"I know." He answered. "Now?"

"Now. I don't want the reporters to see you so pathetic if you leave the hospital in daylight. Don't you know that?"

It's his name. His Dad's name.
Pathetic Jung Yonghwa.

Life's cruel, Jung Yonghwa