Half a Heart
Characters: Seon Tomiko and Min Yoongi

~

One velvet ribbon in my hands.

Two sheets of red wrapping paper on the table in front of me.

Three different types of flower bunches, tucked into the cone of the paper and snug tight by the velvet ribbon that I tied and snipped carefully to not ruin the bow.

When I gave it to the customer he smiled gratefully. "Your Valentine's Day special order sir."

"Thank you! Do you think my girlfriend will like it?" this customer in front was rather a young man, I assumed to be in his early 20s, his eyes filled with hope under the small frames of his thick glasses.

I blinked, completely taken back by the question. But then I say to him: "I'm sure she will like it very much." and gave a returning smile.

When he left the shop I resumed to watering the potted plants in the back of the store, while my other co-worker took the next few others coming in. "Man, they come in like packs of wolves," she chuckled.

"Only this time of the year," I say back with a sigh, moving from the watering to cutting up ribbon for the gift wrap. Working at a botany shop has its few ups and downs - In this month of February of course all over the district there would sales for Valentine's Day.

Couples of all kinds would spend the day together, showering each other with such love and affection. A day where you can easily confess to your crush and that it (at most cases) would end in a good happily ever after.
But for me, I didn't see that happening. Or rather, I didn't believe that to happen. Why? Because I never found anything 'special' or 'magical' about Valentine's Day. To me it just seemed like a regular old day, doing regular things that I normally do on any other day of the week.

When I say that to other people however they speculate as to what kind of person am I.

'How can you say that?'

'You probably have never fell in love'

'Geez, are you a sociopath or something? Don't have to take it to heart...'

It was then that I concluded that what they said isn't wrong - okay but the sociopath is far off - but about experiencing little romance was accurate.
I guess you could say that I was aromantic. I didn't call myself that, but simply a label that others have called me and I just stick by with it. I found it true, really. So when my shift was over for the afternoon I went out in the baring cold just to buy myself a latte. Even in the cafe windows they were decorating their windows and display tables with hearts and cupids, all things white and pink and red.

I sat at the counter top and asked for my order. Beside me there was a man hunched over, wearing dark rimmed glasses and wearing a dark gray trench coat with a black turtle neck exposed. His hair was messily tousled where the sunlight bounced off his bleached pastel green highlights. He was sitting with his shoulders hunched over and one hand holding his cup of dark coffee intensely while staring straight ahead.

Even with just one glance I recognized him. His name is Min Yoongi, a music professor at the Buk ju district's university. He was also my neighbour. I hardly ever see him out during the day, so it was a little bit of a surprise for me. I wouldn't say we were close to be friends; but he was pretty quiet and reserved according to what others in the area say about him.

He remained silent as I got my latte, and once I thanked the barista he drank another gulp and set his cup down as he swiftly walked out the cafe. When Yoongi went past me the smell of coffee and smoke lingered in the air. I paid down my own order and followed suit. The temperature seemed to dip a little bit more, which I shivered by. I only tucked my scarf and drank my latte on the way to the subway station.

===

At home my mom called me and asked what I was doing. “Mm, nothing really. I'm just staying at home watching T.V,” I flipped through the channels as I stayed spared on the couch. She then said that her and dad would be going out somewhere for Valentine's tomorrow, and wants to invite me along. I only insisted that she should go instead, for it's their special date and I don't want to ruin it by being their third wheel. “Also, I'm 23. I can spend my day differently thank you very much.”

“Arasso, arasso. I'm not trying to force you to come, but only if you want to.” and I just had to roll my eyes at that statement. The conversation ended quickly and I didn't even want to watch television anymore, so I just grabbed my coat and headed up to my balcony, sighing out loud and stretched my arms out. But on note I wasn't the only one taking a breather. On the right side, leaning over their balcony with a cigarette, was Yoongi.

As I came out he sneaked a glance at me, and I pursed my lips in shame. “Sorry to bother you Yoongi,” I mumbled. “I just wanted some fresh air.”

He took out his cigarette and blew a puff of smoke. “It's fine Seon. We all need to anyway.” his tone of voice quieted on the last sentence, but I still caught it. The atmosphere around us was rather awkward, if the sound of the cars on the street weren't included. After a good thirty minutes of getting fresh air I was about to go in when I heard a mumble from the other. When I looked at him he gave me a small apologetic smile.

“Oh, did you hear that? Mianhe...” he scratched the back of his neck. I shook my head.

“No, it's okay. If you want, I can give you some coffee.” adding on to his little comment. His cheeks tinged with pink (and not just by the cold) as he nodded numbly. I left the door open for him to come in and as he settled at the dinner table I boiled some hot water. Once it boiled I poured in the coffee that's been pressed and stirred the contents.

He drank it rather slowly, but also with content. He apologized again, but I kept saying that it was fine. I guess he wanted to fill the rather tension between us, so he mentioned about other things. “You work at that flower shop, right? It must be crazy during this time of the year.”

I shrugged. “I'm used to it by now.”

“Are you celebrating it then?” he asked cautiously. I rose an eyebrow, though my neutral expression remained.

“Not really. I don't see it as a special day that everyone claims it to be. I probably sound like a total right now, but there's nothing special about Valentine's to me.”

He scoffed. “I wish I can say the same thing.” his voice turned bitter. When he looked up his eyes were glazed over; as if there were impending tears coming. Truly I was taken back, my shoulders soon becoming less stiff. His lips remaineda subtle thin line and as soon as the clock struck 12 there was a small chime to indicate it to be morning.

“Every year, on this 14th day of the second month, I no longer feel anything special or magical about it. To me, this day... will always leave a sick and bitter feeling in my stomach.” our conversation went as deep as that. He never really specified as to why he so much hated this particular day, leaving me with more questions about this once reserved neighbour I'm so used to.

We talked for hours. It didn't matter for me anyway, considering that I had no shift for that afternoon. Before he left he thanked me for everything, implying for both the coffee and the talk. “Will you be okay?” I say to him, clearly worried by how shaken up he is.

He smiled. “I should be the one asking you. I just piled all this and -”

“No, don't apologize.” I say. “at least you got that off of your chest, right?” he stared at me for a couple of seconds before he broke into a small chuckle.

“See you Seon-ah.” and when he turned around and I closed the door behind him I couldn't help but bring my own soft laugh in the room. It was a laugh that I really couldn't pinpoint what exact emotion I portraying right through – a mix of relief and sadness and happiness all into one. But one thing I was certain about was that I was glad no one else heard. Glad that Yoongi didn't hear.

I slept and woke up around 11:30 AM, and decide to just grab brunch instead of making anything at home. I was glad that it was little less colder out than yesterday so I only brought my coat without a scarf. In the district they had such festivities especially for the couples and even specials in shops and restaurants. I decided to stop by at my own flower shop and to see my co-worker talking with a particular bleach haired man.

My co-worker replied to come back for his order in an hour from now, and thanking her he turned around to be met by me. “Oh, Seon,” Yoongi stuffed his hands in his pockets. “what are you doing here? I thought you're not working today.” I explained that i wasn't and just stopping by to see how everything was doing. He then asked if I ate yet and I replied no, so he took me out to the same cafe we both seemingly visited often.

After an hour he said we had to go back to the flower shop and pick up his order. I asked if they were for someone, and with a nod he just said 'I'll take you to that person'. I wasn't sure what he meant by that sentence as by bus we went all the way to the west end of the district, stopping at a funeral home. Just the thought of being in the cemetery was rather in a sense ironic.

After walking just a couple of steps into the path we stopped at one tombstone engraved 'IN LOVING MEMORY OF MIN DAE-YEUL' and placed the flowers at the bed, bowing his head. I then realized what he meant earlier, and the conversation we had before too. How today left such a bitter feeling in his stomach that he could never get rid of.

He explained that 5 years ago on February 14th his sister Min Dae-yeul came down with an extreme case of pneumonia. She was long under the ICU, but it was on that day that she passed away. I understood even without Yoongi telling me how he felt. He's angry, he's hurt, but mostly he's just saddened. Losing the one person whom he loves on a day to celebrate love.

I know how unjust he felt about everything. So when he bowed his head I did too. When we finished we went back in silence, though it wasn't awkward as last time. There was a lingering moment that filled the space between us. We both didn't have any work, so I invited him over at my place for dinner. I didn't make it so fancy, and he brought some pastries as well.

“Why the heck did you bring some strawberry tarts if you don't like sweet things?” I say as I picked up a piece of pickled radish in my mouth. He smirked and drank his glass of water.

“I know that you like it though. Every time I see you in the balcony you're eating a piece of bread.”

“Hey!” I say to him, but he only laughed louder. After dinner we went to my balcony and talked some more, the chilly temperature surrounding us both. Leaning against one edge he took out a pack of cigarettes and popped one into his mouth; igniting it with portable match.
After a single puff he said “I only smoke occasionally. Even when I was still teaching I maintained it. But when Noona died I pretty much picked up the habit to take one almost every other day.” he flicked the ashen end and brought it to his mouth again. The stars above were sparkling ominously and illuminated the street night lights beautifully.

“I've been meaning to ask,” I spoke up soft. “How did you see the fourteenth so special for you? How did you ever see this ordinary day so seemingly meaningful?” it was a question that I was genuinely asking about, and one that really took me into curiosity. So he told me, in all sincerity, that "labeling something romantic or valuable doesn't necessarily mean it is in others eyes. If you want it to be special than you have to make an effort to make it seem worth. And you don't have to make it so extraordinary either - something so simple can be leave a big place in one's heart in the end."

It struck me that although it was worded odd, there was truth behind it.

===

Yoongi and I hung out more than often, especially on the fourteenth of February. Sometimes we would just grab a cup at the cafe, other times we would visit each others' house and have a night talk. I can say confidently that our life slowly expanded for the better, moreso significantly for Yoongi. He still smokes, though it's not as habitual as it was before. But he does consider the rehab just in case if there's any health issues that he's not aware about since Dae-yeul's passing.
I guess that's what makes Min Yoongi so unique. To think, I just thought he was a sour and quiet neighbour. But the more I peeled his layers the more I realized he's nothing but you and I, a person with a broken past and trying his very hard to fix it. Not just our late night balcony talks, but it's his underlying effort that made me admire him even more.

Given the fact that two years have now passed, Valentine's was back on a Sunday again. I had no work, so I went out to grab my usual latte. Sitting at the counter top the barista asked if I wanted to take a fresh baked chocolate coconut biscotti, for it was their special for the day. With a smile I said I would take one, then I hesitated. “Actually, make it two.”

I went back to my neighbourhood and headed straight to the house. I knocked, only to see Yoongi opening the door with a smile. He had on a beige trench coat and a black turtle neck, already dressed. He newly bought a car, so while he drove I broke a simple piece and fed him the biscuit until there was none left. We arrived in short time at the funeral home and this time, to the ashen display.

We stared at the ash jar with Da-yeul's name on it. He bowed his head, and I did too. But all the while he closed his eyes I felt his fingers slide over mine, and squeezed them. I squeezed them back in reassurance. When we were done with our prayer we went back to the car and drove back to his home. Because it was too cold to be on his balcony, we decided to head into his room.

He grabbed the blanket and draped it over us on the mattress, as I snuggled my head onto his chest. I was playing with the fabric of his shirt while he played with my hair. “Hey Yoongi,” I whispered.

“Hm?” his soft voice tickled my cheek and ears.

“Would you consider this to be...?”

He was silent, but he soon shuffled so he could properly face me. He cupped my cheeks and leaned in for a small kiss on the lips, and my heart elicited. Yoongi pulled back just enough that his dark eyes loomed over mine. “I would say so.” with a smile I interlaced my fingers with his, and leaned in again for another kiss. We didn't even have to say words.

Because the value of the others presence made it more special for the both of us.

A/N

Happy Valentines Day!

So this one shot ended up being longer than I intended to OTL

But with that aside I hope you're spending today well, whether with your loved one, your friends or even family :)

Hopefully I'll see you all soon! Have a great day everyone~

-B.B