He was frozen. She was thinking of her way out.

There was a long silence after that shocking confession from Soeun. Even she, couldn't absorb the fact that she had said all of those words right in front of his face. She was speechless, like all the words were used up just to say those sentences to him.

“B-but...” Jonghyun wanted to say a lot of things, but he didn't know where to start, and what to say first. He had a lot in mind that he couldn't even organize his thoughts.

“Appa!!!” As if he was sent from heaven, Yoogeun immediately ran back as soon as he saw his appa. “Appa! Appa! I thought you won't come!” He said breaking the most tensioned moment between the two.

Jonghyun kneeled down and gave Yoogeun a hug. “I'm glad to see you again, my son.” He said as tears were about to fall though he tried his best not to show them to his son. “I'm sorry I arrived late.”

“It's fine, appa! I still enjoy this vacation!” He let go of the hug and looked at his appa. “Omma said we are here for a vacation and I found this place really beautiful! There is a sea at the back of this house and the sand is so white! Come on, appa! Let's see it together!” He pulled Jonghyun's arms and his appa just took him on his arms. He looked at Soeun but she avoided him by getting back to the kitchen.

She let out a deep sigh when she heard Jonghyun's footsteps slowly fading. He went out with Yoogeun to the beach. Her tears started flowing freely and she let go of the ladle she was holding to stir the soup at the caserole.

She hated the fact that whatever she does, she still couldn't let go. She wanted, as much as possible, to get away from all the emotions and feelings inside her that she has for Jonghyun. She wanted to forget the love she has felt for him. She just wanted to escape from the sorrowful thought that there is no other way she could still be happy with Jonghyun. Soeun wanted to be happy for Jonghyun and Yeojin, but she would never feel that way if she knew that deep inside her heart, she badly wanted to take the spot that is now owned by Yeojin.

Yeojin is a wonderful girl. Someone that always makes Jonghyun happy. She understood everything that happened, and never held a grudge against her. It was only fair and judge not to do something that would absolutely hurt her.

But what's going to hurt Yeojin may make Soeun and Yoogeun happy. What's going to make her cry can make her smile. She coughed when she choke for crying so much with almost no sound.

Slowly, a warm hand was placed on her shoulder. She turned around and found that it was the same ahjumma who went to bring Jonghyun in just a while ago, “I think I can somehow understand what is going on.” She said as she gently wipe those tears in her eyes. “You were running away from that man?” She nodded. “Can I know for what reason?”

Despite being exhausted from crying, she still spoke, “He was once mine, and now he's married.”

“And has your child?” The ahjumma frowned again until she was still able to understand. She rubbed Soeun's arms as she feel symphatetic towards her. “You still love him?” Soeun nodded again.

Instead of asking another question, the woman pulled Soeun into a hug and rubbed her back. “That must hurt a lot, my dear. I'm sorry I have to see you at this condition. You seem very bright and sweet, but however difficult it might be, one day the pain will go away and you will end up being happy. I know because you are such a nice person.” She let go of the hug and looked at Soeun. “This might not be the wisest decision, it could even be the dumbest, but as crazy at it may sound, just follow where your heart takes you. It's the only decision that you would never regret. You might get hurt or be happy with the decision made by your heart, but however things turn out, I know you won't regret anything, and sometimes, the best way to settle something is to say the unspoken words... when you thought they shouldn't be said anymore.”

She breathed deeply, and finally nodded as she recognized all the words the ahjumma has told her. “Go and fix yourself.”

She decided to take a bath to relax for a bit. Soeun was obviously spacing out, trying to organize her thoughts and feelings so she could face Jonghyun calmly after a while. She didn't want to appear dumb and weak in front of him. What she said a while ago couldn't be taken back, but she needed to say something in order to defend her side.

She sighed. How could she defend something that she herself has proven true in the first place? How could she defend something that was never defendable, but rather noticeable?

The traditional house was small enough that could fit a small family. The bathroom is connected to the living area and was just divided by a wooden door. The room and the living area was divided by another wooden door that is wider than that of the bathroom's door. There was a small pathway connecting the living area and the kitchen. Outside the house is small veranda that leads to the entrance. There was another door opposite the kitchen that is used to go at the back of the house which also leads to the beach where Yoogeun brought his appa.

Soeun heard footsteps getting louder, as if someone's about to come into the living area. Next thing, he heard Yoogeun's voice.

“Appa, the ahjumma told me it's okay to swim on that beach! It's open to other people but no one goes there. Why are they not going there? The beach is so pretty! It is very attractive.” Yoogeun said.

“Maybe they haven't discovered the beauty of the beach.” Jonghyun said.

“If they discover it and people start to go there, will the beach become dirty? People might start throwing garbage to the sea!”

“Then someone should take care of the beach and monitor those people that are coming in and out of the beach.” Jonghyun smiled and adored Yoogeun's interest in keeping the environment clean.

“Appa, can you buy the beach for me? So I can monitor it and ask the people not to throw any garbage when they swim!” Jonghyun only chuckled upon hearing Yoogeun's request.

“It might be difficult for appa to buy it, but if I get enough money, then I'll buy it for you.”

Just then Soeun went out of the bathroom. “Omma! Appa and I went to the beach and I showed him how beautiful it was! Look! We picked out some shells!” He said and happily showed them to his omma. Soeun looked at those and smiled.

“They're beautiful.”

“Sooki said you can make a bracelet out of these shells. I'll seek her help and make one for you, omma!”

“Oh, really? Thanks, my dear. Omma will surely wear that bracelet that is made by you.” She smiled and gently pinched his nose.

“Yoogeun-ah.” Jonghyun called out. “Can you go to Sooki for now? I'll just talk to omma for a bit.” He patted his and Yoogeun immediately obeyed as he ran out of the veranda to meet Sooki that was outside playing with some stuff.

“Soeun-ah.”

“I'm sorry about what I said just a while ago. I shouldn't have said those things.” She said, still not looking at Jonghyun. She was afraid that he would read what exactly was going through his mind. She didn't want him to read how she was feeling during that moment. “But I hope you understand that I'm here to make myself feel better.”

“Don't take Yoogeun away from me.” Jonghyun said.

“But I can't stand seeing you anymore.” Soeun bit her lower lip as she felt like choking. “I can't stand being around you anymore. It doesn't feel right.” Maybe, that was what she wanted to say, or maybe it was th opposite. She didn't know, but she thought that it was the safest but rather the most straightforward way of telling him what she feels.

“I won't leave.” Jonghyun said. “I won't leave until you decide to go home with me and Yoogeun.”

“I can't.” She uttered. “I can't anymore. I need to be alone with Yoogeun.”

“I can't as well.” Jonghyun replied. “It feels different, knowing you ran away because of me. I don't want that to happen, so I wanted to settle things right now. Please, Soeun. Your work is also affected. Please, let's go back.”

She shook her head. “I won't leave right now. Not now.”

“Then let's leave when you're ready. I'll wait here.” Soeun looked at him in surprise, but Jonghyun shrugged his shoulders, “I went here to get the two of you back. I'm not going to Seoul without the both of you, so if you don't want to leave, then I'll stay.”

“Yeojin needs you.” Soeun said leaving Jonghyun speechless for a while.

“I won't go.” He insisted.

Chapter 41 - Closer to the Truth, Away from the Reality