Move a little closer
So I can breathe you in
Wrapped in this enclosure
How long has it been

     Rid fell asleep.

     Like the moment the first song I chose ended, she was knocked out, slightly opened, small snores escaping her lips, her eyes comfortably closed and one of her arms behind my head acting as my pillow.

     She insisted on squeezing her arm under me and I didn’t stop her from it, baka sabihin pa niya ang wary ko sa mga nangyayari kahit deep within, I just know I was still skeptical of her seeing me blush.

     Honestly it makes me feel bad. I shouldn’t be skeptical about her lalo na’t I’m aware that she did that as a move towards me, well at least I’m proud that I let it happen. Look at me know, my head’s snuggling by her armpit habang naghihilik-hilik siya above me. What a cutie.

     She gave me her phone kasi kanina at nangangalay na daw siya kaya ako naman yung nag-swipe swipe while she moved closer to me, her head by my shoulder that made me wary of her breaths. Ramdam na ramdam ko din sa may tenga ko as I hear her even breathes come out.

     I’m thinking of what time I should wake her up, baka kasi bigla siyang kailanganin nina Tita or something tas eto siya tutulog tulog, di pa nga naliligo to- buti nalang mabango.

     What does she smell like? Uhm, she smells like….

     She smells like Winter.

     She smells cool like how I imagine the cold breeze of the Winter air would feel like, she doesn’t smell bad even if hindi pa siya naliligo, maybe this is her scent.

     Well, nakalapit nga naman ako sa armpit niya, malay ba natin.

     Basta, I’m not repelled by it, I’m comforted by it rather kasi nga, siya na to. Ganto amoy niya and it sounds weird but I like smelling her, it means that she’s close to me in some way.

     I put her phone down after feeling mine vibrate, probably Giselle or Ning, or both.

     It’s almost 6 na din pala.

     G: Sure, ka Ning alam mo yung way papunta kayna Mads ha? 
     N: Oo nga, kakapunta ko lang dun last week
     G: Ang unfair niyo, ako nalang hindi nakakapunta sakanila -,- 
     N: Malayo ka nga kasi.
         Ayaw naming ginagabi ka at madaldal ka pa naman.
     G: Makapagsalita to, as if you aren’t.
     C: San na kayo?
     N: Maliligo na me
     G: I’ll dress up nalang then I’m off
     N: Di ka naligo beb?
     G: Ang sama mo sa’kin Luningning
     C: Ingat Gi
     G: Yes Madam
     N: <33

     I tore my eyes off my phone’s screen, turning it off before setting it by my side again. Should I fetch those two? Sabi naman ni Ning she already went her last week so her mind’s refreshed with how to go here, saka hindi naman siya mahirap hanapin, may tindahan yung katabing house nina Winter tapos they’re not far away from the multipurpose court by the end of the road.

     My eyes wandered her ceiling, I looked down a bit, something green caught my attention by the corner of my eye, nakasabit siya from the side of her closet- probably pinned to the wood by some thumb tacks.

     It’s the alligator plushie I handed to her, the one I gave to show her na I liked her. She kept it pala.

     We kept joking kasi na itatapon niya agad yun or ipapamigay kasi nga daw bigay ng manliligaw ko yun sa’kin. Puro salita, di naman ginawa, iba ka din talaga Madrid.

     I’m thinking, siguro nga there’s this underlying feeling na, I want her to feel like how I think some of my suitors wanted me to feel,

     But more.

     I’m not sure, I never entertained them nga (exempted yung muntik na ako hipuan back at senior high, his presence is already expelled from my life) kaya I don’t know how I would do that but, I want to do everything for her, possibly even love her like how I know to.

     If she’ll let me love her. Which I’m in high hopes for.

     I think I can love her in a way only I can do.

     Sabi nga ni Giselle, I’m too innocent for this world so maybe I could use my innocence to make her feel something na only I could do. How? Hindi ko alam pero gusto ko alamin. I want to do my best for her.

     Hindi sa pag-aassume but I think I’m her first try in this too so we’re practically doomed with each other pero ayun nga, maybe she’s not thinking of it yet but, I want to stay long with her. I’ll even fix myself if I have to.

     I just like her presence in my life and I want to maintain that idea.