Hey everyone. I, um, I think it’s safe to say that this week…….it’s been…….really hard for a lot of us. Just want to take this moment to…….to encourage everyone to talk to someone if they’re having a hard time. Be it because you’re grieving Jonghyun’s passing or just having a hard time in general. Don’t……don’t try to deal with this all on your own. NEVER try to deal all alone. Find someone – friend, parents, or professional – to talk to, to support you. I’m here if you need to talk. Just…….remember that you aren’t alone, that it isn’t your fault.

Title: Just Can’t Control

Pairing: Chasang

Word Count: 563

Sometimes, Hakyeon hated his life. It felt like nothing was under his control, like he was in the passenger seat. It was his life for crying out loud! Why couldn’t he decide anything for himself? Why was everyone else making those choices for him? His parents had decided what he would study in college, what his job was going to be. His place of work had decided exactly what position he held at the hospital. His friends had pestered him into living where he lived.

He could have said no, he could have decided all that himself. But then people would be angry with him and he didn’t want people to be angry with him. He wanted everyone in his life to be happy. He wanted to see them smile and hear them laughing.

Apparently, keeping them happy meant he had to be unhappy.

Apparently, keeping everyone happy meant letting them force him on dates with people they thought would be good for him.

“You alright?” the man sitting at the table next to him asked.

“Not really,” Hakyeon sighed, seeing no point in lying to a total stranger.

“Wanna talk about it?” the man asked and Hakyeon glanced over at him before answering with a yes.

He told the other everything and the man – Sanghyuk – listened to him without interruption.

“And now here I am,” Hakyeon sighed as he finished his story, “waiting for a date one of my friends set up. A date who is about……two hours late.”

“Ouch,” Sanghyuk winced, “well, I can see where you’re coming from. I know how hard it is trying to keep everyone you care about happy while trying to be happy yourself.” He took a slip from his drink,
“doesn’t help if you don’t know what you wanna do with your life either. Makes it pretty easy to just…..follow along with the wishes of others.”

“How’d you know?” Hakyeon smirked slightly, “I don’t remember mentioning that.”

It was true, he’d never known what he wanted to do with his life. He’d never had a plan for his life. So when his friends and family offered exactly that……just going with it seemed so easy.

“I’ve been in your shoes,” Sanghyuk replied, “but I managed to figure out what I wanted in my first year of college. Knowing what you want, knowing exactly what will make you happy…….it makes going against other’s wishes for your life easier.”

“What helped you figure it out?” Hakyeon asked.

“I ran into an old friend of mine from when I was a child,” Sanghyuk grinned, “Hongbin had always known what he wanted and he’d always fought for it. We ran into each other one day and got talking and…….I don’t know. Seeing him so passionate about his photography made me want to find something I loved that much. He helped me figure it out, because he’s an awesome friend like that, and now I’ve got my own dance studio.”

“Dance,” Hakyeon hummed, remembering the classes he’d taken when he was a child before his parents decided it was a waste of time.

“You used to dance?” Sanghyuk asked, a knowing look in his eyes.

“When I was a kid,” Hakyeon nodded, “I’m probably at it now.”

“Want to test that?” Sanghyuk smiled kindly, “my studio is across the street.”

“Yeah,” Hakyeon said after a moment of consideration, “why not?”

A/N: I actually started to add a little more to this about Hakyeon discovering his dream and chasing it and ending up dating Sanghyuk, but this end……I like it much better.