Chapter Forty Two;;

“I’m sorry ..but I love you, Oh Sooyeon.”

Myungsoo saw on how your teary eyes widened as soon as those words escaped from his lips and how quick you looked down, hiding your eyes under your bang. And your eyelashes were getting wet again.

Myungsoo gasped when it hit him.

Sooyeon won’t give up on me right?

Myungsoo shuddered.

She will not go to Jongin, right?

She’s not here to propose of the real divorce, right?        

“S-sooyeon?” He whimpered when you started to sniff again. He scooted closer – soaked in anxious and panic – before he cupped both of your cheeks slowly. He knew he was late – he’s always late, but you can’t give up on him, not now. “Y-you won’t leave me, right?”

You sobbed hard before lunged into Myungsoo – crying onto his shoulder. Myungsoo startled for a second before hesitantly put his arms around you.

He tried to block his mind from any negative thought but he can’t help it – what if she came here to ask for the real separation?

“Sooyeon..” There’s something heavy tugged inside his chest and another big lump inside his throat but he took a deep breath and whispered, “I love you --so don’t leave me. I know I’m stupid a-and I keep making you disappointed in me, I kept making you waiting for me, I’m sorry. But please don’t leave me, I-I just can’t leave without you, I –“

“What is it feel like?” He can hear your mumble against his shoulder.

Myungsoo blinked, confused and pretty much shaken. “..what?”

You pulled away from his shoulder to have a proper look at Myungsoo’s pale face. You stare at his face silently – his unfocused eyes and thin layer of sweat on his forehead that dampening his bang and his cheeks and his tall nose and his parted lips.

How could you make this beautiful man suffered that long, Sooyeon?, you asked yourself.

“What is it feel like?” You repeated your question in a soft, whisper tone. “When you keep all your feeling alone while I’m actually there beside you?”

Myungsoo stared at you, pupils dilated.

Sooyeon knew?

“I was there seven years ago – no, I was there eleven years ago and you were just – sitting there, stared at me from a far, keeping all your feelings alone. And I even lived under the same rooftop with you, Myungsoo. Why can’t you confessed earlier? Y-you have the chances. I was there and you said nothing – nothing at all.”

She knew. “Sooyeon –“

“You should tell me something back then and I’m sure we don’t need to go all of these, Myungsoo.” You choked a sob. Making a decision because of your childish thought on Myungsoo’s affection to Naeun, Minhee’s death because you ignored the poor cat, travelling to Japan alone, growing up at foreign place – all of them were not easy.

Myungsoo felt something’s growing up inside him – warm and assuring.

His gaze softened when you looked away to brush your tears. “I’m sorry for not telling you much more earlier. I –“

“Stop apologizing, Myungsoo.” You sobbed. “I-It’s all were my fault. If I’m not too dumb, if only I noticed your feelings –“

Myungsoo let out a soft chuckle before he pulled you into his embrace.

The anxious flew away and happiness started to slip in.

“I’m not done apologizing yet, Myungsoo.” You said.

Myungsoo fixed his arms around you. “It’s okay.” He said as he’s wiping his one roll of leaked tear secretly and smiled. “It’s not entirely your fault. It’s mine, too.”

You leaned in on his shoulder and inhaled his scent. “But eleven years was too long. You were tortured too long. I leaved you when you need me the most after your grandma funeral, I leave without telling you first and then I came back with Jongin.” You are not too dense in these --Myungsoo at least must be broken when he saw how close you’re to Jongin. He must be broken and broken again – and it was all because of you.

Myungsoo smiled softly at your words. “If I told you last eleven years, will you accept me?”

You looked up from his chest.

Will you accept him, if he told you back then?

 You were fifteen years old on last eleven years– you don’t even cared about Kim Myungsoo at that time, he might be another kingka that born with handsome face and silver spoon and that’s it. Kim Myungsoo was just another human being to you.

And if he did confess back then, you sure you will scare your mind out.

Myungsoo glanced down at you with a small fond smile. “You won’t, right?”

You ducked your head back again on his chest. “But at least, you won’t suffer like this.” You quietly replied.

Myungsoo nodded.  A wave of confidence came and hit him that make him took another deep breath. “There’s a lot of ‘what ifs’, to be honest. What if I confess to you back then? Or what if grandma never asked me to find a girl to be my bride? What if you didn’t go to Japan? Different things might happen by then. But that’s not how the reality works, Sooyeon.” He smiled softly. “Things happened. I didn’t confess back then, you did go to Japan, we’re separated.” He can felt you’re shivering at that thought. “But I’m still here, Sooyeon. I keep holding into you, even you pushed me away.”

Guilty hit you like a fast bullet. “Myungsoo..”

Myungsoo tighten his hold around you. “I’m still here because your letter. I’m still here because I’m holding into your words from last seven years that you love me. I’m hoping that you will still love me even though you’re far away. I don’t know where you were, I don’t know how are you, but I kept praying so that your loves for me keep increasing, that you  will miss me as much I do. And my prayers were heard. The god already arranged everything perfectly, you know.”

You looked up again only this time your eyes were glistening with tears. “Myungsoo..”

Myungsoo stared deep into your eyes before brushed your wet cheek lightly with his thumb and breathed, “I’m sorry that I late, but I love you.”

You can feel your tears dam broke at his confession.

Myungsoo panicked once again. “Sooyeon..”

“I love you too, Myungsoo.”

Myungsoo’s frown faded and replaced by a wide smile. He softly tugged you and pulled you into his embrace once again and kissed the crown of your head lightly, letting you wetting his shirt with tears. “I know.”

“Can’t you please hurry up, Sooyeon?”

You glared at the two male while carrying a tray full of meats and sausages to them. “Yah, you should be grateful I’m good enough to bring you this.” You hissed at Hoya as both of the male laughed.

You put down the tray on the table next to the barbeque stand and huffed. “And you, Sehun oppa. Can you at least help me bring the food from the kitchen?”

Sehun grinned. “That was woman’s jobs, Sooyeon. You as a girl – should do it.”

You gritted your teeth before slapped his arm which earned you a small ouch.

You rolled your eyes at his whines before turning back your gaze to Hoya. “What are you waiting for? Start grilling.”

Hoya laughed before focusing back at his meats. “Why are you so sensitive tonight?”

“Her hubby was not here.” Sehun said.

“Myungsoo can’t come?” Hoya frowned. “But we are having barbeque party! Myungsoo can’t leave meats behind.”

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