Chapter Thirty Three ;;

A round of applause slowed down, giving the utmost attention to the male who’s standing proudly at the end of the meeting table. He looked around at each single faces of the directors’ board and let out a small smile.

“Thank you everybody. Please, have a sit.” He nodded.

He waited until the last person sit down before continued his words, “On this very fine day – after six years of training and hard works, I was at last, -- can assured my and my only late Grandma -- that I can be the heir that she always wanted. Thanks to each of you who patiently teaches me, guides me, let me work under your supervision, so that I can be here today.”

Myungsoo took a deep breath and glanced at the big windows that showed the beautiful Seoul city under sunlight’s blessing. “The journey is still long but my own journey to perfect myself is way much longer. I’ll be the more and more hard working Kim Myungsoo, so please look after me fondly and let’s strive towards the excellence together.” He bowed his head politely.

Another waves of applause hit his eardrums.

Grandma, did you see this?

Myungsoo looked up and flashed another small smile before he turned and stole a glance at the big white screen behind him before looked back at the front. He found his mother smiling gently at him and his father nodded proudly at him from the corner of his eyes.

He turned his gaze to his audience before he pulled out his pointer laser and pointed it at the white screen. “So let’s start with the briefing from administration blue department, shall we?”

Myungsoo dragged his feet into his room and closed the door behind. He pulled way his tie and draped down the blue tie along with his dark blue coat on the sofa. He walked to the middle of them room and threw himself on the four poster bed. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before letting out a small sigh.

I’m the grandson that you proud of, yeah grandma?

Myungsoo closed his eyes and a picture of his Grandma smiling at him bubbled up.

I’m proud of you, Myungsoo.

But I’m a coward, Grandma. I can’t even confess those words to her.

His Grandma was still smiling but her smile turned into a sad one as if she was too, pity on him.

He opened his eyes and sighed again. He pulled himself to a sitting position weakly and rested his back against the headboard. Myungsoo threw a glance around his blue gray theme room. His eyes stopped at the mini bar at the corner of the room. He still remembered how your called him a for very late night dinner because he’s too sad over his Grandma’s condition. That night too, the first night after he’s talked to you after a few days of cold war. His eyes darted the veranda – the one that you always stay for a moment before going to sleep just because for a simple star gazing.

Myungsoo’s hand was slowly went up and clenched on his button down white shirt over his heart. His heart ached every time he was lonely, every time he thinks about you. He did put on his brightest smile when Sunggyu married Jiyeon last winter and when Dongwoo engaged last two month. He even laughed out loud when Hoya’s face when red when Eunji was hitting on his hyung but deep inside he was lonely.

He just missed you.

And it’s hurt.

Hurt to know that he know nothing about you for these past six years. How you’re doing?

Did you entered university and graduated already?

Or you already work somewhere?

Myungsoo let out a small sigh.

He missed to hear your morning nags, he missed to steal your carton juices, he missed to stared at your sleeping face – he missed everything about you and it’s frustrating. Myungsoo turned to his table and retrieved an old envelope. He pulled a letter out and put the envelope aside before he opened up the letter.

The feel was still same.

It still chill as the first time he read them last six years.

Like how his hands were shaking when holding the weightless paper.

Like how the first two words make him cry on the spot.

Like how the last paragraph make him regretted all over.

Myungsoo took a deep breath and run his eyes all over again.

Hello Myungsoo.

How are you? I hope you were fine – as always. I don’t know why I wrote this letter, but I hope you can read it until the end. To be honest, I don’t know what should I feel right now – should I be glad you found this letter or not? A part of me thinks that you won’t find this piece of paper. Well, if you don’t find this letter that’s mean the letter will get dusty in the drawer then. Oh well.

I met your mom yesterday and we talked a lot. She was worried about you, Myungsoo. There’s a thing that she asked me to do, but for both of us I think I declined her request. Your mother, she doesn’t know that I’m going away, Myungsoo. My intention to meet her was to tell her that I’m going but seeing your mother – my heart clenched in pain. Your mother reminded me to my mom a lot. I don’t have the guts to tell her so, please - tell her that I’m going okay? Tell her I’m going away to improve myself – to be a better me.

I want to say thank you for a lot of things that you have done to me. I’m the one who lived quietly in my apartment, so thank you for accompanying me in that small house of mine. Thank you for being a good husband – you did a good job of take caring me. You always be patience when I asked you to buy me pads every month, you always be patience when I’m having my mood swings. You always there when I sad or missed my parents. You always there when I craving to eat something. So thank you for everything, Myungsoo.

I want to say sorry too -- for running way, for avoiding you countless time, to make you mad or anger. If I ever make you frustrated for these four months, I’m sorry. I’m sorry f