“Merry Christmas all listeners! You are back listening to the Christmas 2-Hour Special with 5 Pieces here on MBC Radio,” Carolina says when the song has ended and she is back into her routines of being a radio DJ. “We are going through some comments that you listeners have written on the radio homepage, and it seems like a lot of listeners are curious to hear some Christmas stories from 5 Pieces, about 5 Pieces. So ladies, how do you normally spend Christmas in Sweden with your families? Any traditions?”

“Watching Donald Duck!” Emelia answers and Hannah is fast to clap her hands in agreement.

“Oh! Watching Donald Duck at 3 o’clock is probably what every Swedish person does on Christmas,” Maria seems to agree. The girls are in a great mood after the day’s schedule, all of them having this ‘it’s Christmas’ spirit and they are talkative and fun doing the planned radio program special. The studio has been prepared with Christmas decorations and the girls are even wearing their own decorations – Christmas headbands and such – and it is such a spirit in there that you can’t stop smiling. The listeners seem to feel that too, sending in messages about how fun it is listening to all ladies together and through the live-stream you can see the girls having fun during commercials and song breaks too.

“For those of you that don’t know what we are talking about, at 3 o’clock in Sweden it is this … what is it? It’s some kind of traditional program that every year airs the same clips that is about Christmas – taken from movies and such, including Donald Duck, Santa, Chip ‘n Dale and more fun – and it is every year, the same time of the day, and it is the thing that makes you sit down in front of the TV with your family and get your child memories return and … yeah, it’s fun.”

“You spend Christmas with family, watch Donald Duck and open presents. That’s Christmas for me,” Carolina agrees.

“Ya, are you saying that this isn’t Christmas?!”

“No! I love this Christmas~”

“I like to receive so many Christmas wishes from a lot of people for Christmas,” Hannah butts in cutely to make Maria stop being evil to Carolina.

“Of course you do,” Maria warmly smiles to Hannah, making the youngest giggle and Carolina continues to talk.

“Nr 2354 asks us ‘do you miss spending the holiday with your family in Sweden?’” Carolina asks and looks at the ladies for a response.

“Of course,” Emelia honestly answers.

Maria continues: “We miss our families every day and Christmas time is usually the time when families meet, not just those you live with but your relatives too, so it is a basic missing. But we are having fun here, talking and having fun, riiiight?”

“Yeah!” Hannah answers and she laughs when a piece of paper is thrown at her. Julia laughs too. “being with the ladies on Christmas and getting Christmas wishes from all of you is the best Christmas~”

“Hannah has gotten too much to drink,” Emelia jokingly informs not just the listeners but the staff in the other room too. “Could someone take away the Coca-Cola from her?”

Hannah just laughs, throwing back the piece of paper at her and they all continues to laugh over the joke because all ladies are drinking Coca-Cola during the radio show and the sugar seems to make Hannah not able to stop laughing and when one member starts to laugh, the others also starts.

“OK ladies, next up is from Nr 2549, who asks us about the pictures we have uploaded today; ‘whose puppies is it? they looked adorable!’”

“Believe it or not, but 5 Pieces have three pets now,” Maria is fast to inform. “We have Ace, Snowball and Meatball.”

“That’s not their names!” Julia laughs and Hannah laughs too.

“Last week, we went against our managers and the two mad ladies sitting on that side-” Maria points though not all listeners knows how they are sitting, “- came home with two cute puppies that are just as crazy adorable as Pieces, so no matter what our managers said, we kept them. And now they are part of our family. So we will introduce them soon to all of you, love-lovers.”

“Their names are not Snowball and Meatball,” Julia reminds for the listeners not to get attached to those names.

“We love them,” Hannah adds. “Ace loves them too.”

“Yeah… Our boss pet is Ace, freaking awesome,” Maria finishes off in her own style.

Their two hours on the radio is hilarious. Hannah even gets a text message from Yoona who writes that SNSD is currently on the floor laughing and the ladies all freaks out when they get a surprise call on the radio from DBSK’s Yunho who wants to wish 5 Pieces and all the listeners a great Christmas. 5 Pieces also sings a song beside from sharing different Christmas stories of their own as well as stories their listeners sends in on the homepage. The ladies all end the show cheerfully, wishing all the best to the listeners for Christmas as well as New Year.

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Two days later, late on Wednesday, 5 Pieces is still in the practice-room, preparing for the two Gayo Daejun that is two, three days away. Beside from their usual schedule today Hannah also practiced with the Midnight Dream cast for SBS Gayo Daejun, and now the ladies are slowly finishing up with the practice to head home to get some sleep. Hannah keeps sitting on the floor, her tongue reached out as if she is a dog and she looks around at the others packing their things. They have all been working really hard for Christmas and even after Christmas they have worked hard to prepare for the New Year performances. Being tired from all the activities, Hannah still doesn’t move from the floor.

Slowly everyone starts to leave the room. Hannah smiles and waves for them all, slowly getting up on her feet to bow to some others and when her members are leaving they tell her to do well. The other ladies are heading home to their pets, while Hannah is staying behind to practice. She won’t head home with the other ladies because of her special solo performance of [I CRY] that she is going to practice for. When Hannah finally is alone in the practice-room she goes to sit by the keyboard to practice.

Hannah has never been good to play the piano. She knows how to play parts of some children songs, but she has always been amazed by the piano and if she had the patient to learn how to really play it, she would. For her solo song [I CRY], Taemin is the only usually sitting and playing the piano. But for SBS Gayo Daejun, Hannah will play the piano. Of course it would be impossible for her to play the piano and sing at the same time, and to even learn the whole song to play on the piano in such a little time to prepare, but for the past few days Hannah have been learning how to play not just a part of her solo song but also how to play [Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star] that she has been taught just for fun in the performance. Yes, she will play it during the performance.

To help the clueless girl to play, the keyboard has the letters taped on the keys for her to know what keys she has to press during practice. Every time Hannah sits down by the keyboard it feels like everything she learnt last time has just fled from her memory. She goes through the notes, warms up her fingers before she starts to practice. And one minute becomes ten, eventually becomes an hour. It is something magical with the piano, the sounds it makes, that just captivates Hannah and though she really at playing the piano she can just sit and listen to the keys making the sounds each time she presses down a key. How an instrument can sound like water; waves splashing up on the sand at the beach or like a river flowing down by the rocks in a forest. It’s peaceful when she plays it, emotional. Hannah maybe isn’t good at all to play the piano, but she loves the sound the instrument makes and it makes her keep practicing. If each key she pressed sounded horrible, she wouldn’t want to play it. She continues to practice, her fingers hurting but the more she practices the better it sounds and the more she gets familiar with it. Carolina has helped the girl a lot the past two days, wanting to teach Hannah more than necessary and even saying she can teach her the whole song, but honestly, Hannah does not have the patience to be taught by Carolina, so Hannah keeps practicing on her own or with her teacher.

After a break, Hannah goes through it again before she takes out her very own camera that she got on Christmas, and she films her practice to see and hear it from another angle.

She is tired both mentally and physically, and the sad melody of her own song is not a good help for this girl. Since she is in the dance practice room, the keyboard standing on the side, she easily walks over to turn on the music. It’s her song, and she starts to sing [I CRY], walking around in the room and singing as if she is practicing her vocals and the lyrics. She couldn’t know those parts better. She couldn’t be more familiar with a tone than the tones she sings in this song, how every single word and change of voice in it is coming from her own heart. The melody, she can hear the piano and the music being played in the song, familiar with that too; being familiar with the sounds the piano is making from what she has learnt and from what she has watched both Taemin and Carolina practice and play for the performances together. She is really thankful for that both Carolina and Taemin wanted to help out with her song. Carolina is always bright, always wanting to do everything, and Taemin didn’t really have to be asked before he agreed on performing the song with her.

Hannah sits down on the floor, leaning her back against the wall. After sitting there for just a minute she moves over to sit in the corner by the mirror, placing a chair in front of her and on top of the chair her camera, placing it so she can see through the mirror reflection the camera filming her. She bites her lip when turning on the camera, sitting with her back a little against the wall again while looking at her own camera filming her.

“Hello. This is 5 Pieces’ Hannah,” she quietly starts off and she lets some seconds pass before she talks again, continuing to talk slowly, “it was Christmas just a few days ago, and now it is a few days left of 2012 before … it’s 2013… It’s strange how the time is passing so fast. It feels like I am still trying to melt that it is 2012… … … I’m taking a break from practice when I … decided to do this, film this, as I am getting all emotional thinking through the year.”

She lowers her head to clear , looking out over the room next before she looks back in the camera.

“I have actually gotten the question … Asked if I am happy, several of times lately. I don’t know if our fans think I look sad or if something I do makes it seem like I am unhappy,” she is saying in a low voice, “but I honestly haven’t expected to get such a question, so it has made me started to think. I know the answer on the question, no doubt about that, I would never hesitate to answer, but just getting the question makes me think back: - what if 5 Pieces didn’t win the contract, what if we never came to Korea; what if I never even started listen to K-pop? I don’t know if I ever would’ve found the parts of my life that I now can’t live without, and I know I would be a totally different person.”

The girl bites her lips again, getting quiet to not start crying and she keeps her head down a little even when she continues to talk.

“There are days that are really tiring and exhausting, days when I wonder if we ever will get to take a break long enough for us to get some sleep,” she whispers and then looks up, at the mirror to see what the camera films. “But never once have I felt unhappy. Recently at a performance, we were so tired from repeating the song over and over again without managing to get satisfied over the outcome. I felt like if I sat down, I wouldn’t be able to get back up. But we decided to perform the song another time, and when putting my hand on top of the other members’ and we did our cheer with our fans cheering with us, I felt like I could perform across the world without failing.” She gives a smile by the memory. “And though our fans were so worried about us and though my body was exhausted, I was really happy. I am happy.”

She pouts out with her lower lip when trying to hold in the tears, though you can hear that she is holding in the tears and probably see it too. Hannah gives a bigger smile, her eyes getting smaller when she does so and she looks away from the camera.

“Life would be so boring if we didn’t have up and downs in our days and moods,” she says distantly. “I greet each day differently, but I always know in the mornings that it will be a day I will never regret. When I look back at 2012, I remember doing a lot of things that I once even couldn’t imagine doing. Being on the stage, I once didn’t even know I could do that. Now, I work hard to not have to leave it.”

Hannah wipes away the tears in her eyes now, using both hands and she breathes out before wiping her eyes again and leaning just a little closer to the camera, slowly looking up at it. She isn’t wearing any make-up; her hair is wavy and the camera captures a part of the sweater she is wearing, a blue sweater that makes the blue-green colour of her eyes be seen clearer, her skin is fair and a little red with her nose small and cute and her lips not wet or dry but something in between that doesn’t take much attention at all because her hair and eyes are what the camera captures the best.

“I came to Korea in 2008 with four of my best friends, and all we wanted was to show who we are. We did the impossible, didn’t we? … Ladies, I love you. Puzzle, you know we can’t finish the puzzle without one piece, right? Thank you for completing the puzzle with us and for giving us the strength to become the ones we are – I love you.”

Hannah looks at the camera, then gives a smile and waves her hand while reaching the other hand to turn off the filming. She puts her head down on the chair, resting on it, and she sits like that for a few minutes before she gathers herself to continue with her practice before her manager will come to get her. She must do well with the piano at the performance; she will continue to show that though she cries easily and is a mess, she will still be able to do the impossible.

The girl finishes off her practice, puts on her jacket and hood and hides under it with her backpack – the most recent and useful bag she owns – thrown over her shoulder and she realises that the shoes she is wearing is not hers because they are too big (then it must be Maria’s) so when walking with her manager to the car her shoes keep dragging on the floor because whenever she lifts a foot, the sneaker is about to fall off so Hannah basically doesn’t lift her feet when heading to the car. Her manager keeps mentioning it, she doesn’t care though. She just wants to go home and get a hug. Julia had texted her a while ago, saying that Ryo was whining outside Hannah’s bedroom’s door so Julia opened the door for him to go sleep in there, and all Hannah can think of when adding puppy Ryo to her bedroom is pee on her things. Sitting in the car on the way home she is quietly talking to her manager, not saying much but talking a little, and she can feel her eyes barely able to stay open. After a few hours of sleep, she will be okay, she just need to lie down in her bed and sleep.

Hannah comes home alone, and it is quiet when she arrives and she guesses the members have already gone to bed. She goes to see if they have, and when her guess is confirmed she goes to her own room to prepare for bed. Lying in her bed is none other than Ryo, cute white puppy waving his tail like crazy when seeing her.

“You really like to do things I tell you not to do,” Hannah whispers to him with a smile when lying across the bed to cuddle with him.a

She has never liked cats. She has bad memories of cats putting their claws in her legs for no reason as a child and they are just really freaky, though their kitten Ace is different because he is their kitten and she has seen him grow for a year. But Hannah is still more of a dog-person, and Ryo is like a dog version of Ace – white, small, cuddling, and he is really adorable. Lying and cuddling with him now, he seems disappointed whenever Hannah is about to get up or when she stops his back, and he reminds her of Jonghyun. Jonghyun is like a puppy. He love skin-ship and whenever Hannah has taken her hand off him, he has looked at her with the same puppy eyes that Ryo gives her now. Every night he texts her to either ask if she has gone to sleep or simply saying goodnight, and at times he calls too in case he wants to talk and he can say he just wants to hear her voice. He needs the affection as a puppy, Hannah smiles by the thought. This night he had sent her a picture of himself when he went to sleep, and Hannah had been in the elevator at that time so she took a cute picture of herself that she sent to him, saying goodnight too.

Hannah goes to wash up and prepare to go to bed and just when she is about to lie down under her quilt, she sees that she has gotten a text message. She smiles when seeing it is Emelia has texted her; asking if it went well and saying goodnight. Knowing that her oldest friend is in her own bedroom, Hannah sneaks over there and in the darkness she finds her way to Emelia’s bed where she lies down next to the person who moved over.

“I didn’t guess you would come over,” Emelia whispers.

Both girls are lying on their sides, and in the dark Hannah can see the silhouette of the pale-skinned friend of hers. Hannah stays quiet. It smells Emelia in the bed, the same as it smelled in Emelia’s house whenever Hannah used to come over when they were younger. Her whole summers used to be spent with Emelia, most days after school used to be spent with her. They both know about their good and bad points, they know they can easily annoy each other and they probably say more bad things about each other than good things, and though Hannah has leaned a lot on Julia and Maria most of the time in Korea, Emelia is still the person that Hannah doesn’t say a single word to but who still knows everything. Maria needs hints, she wants Hannah to talk about things, to sort things out even if she lets it take time, but Emelia is quiet. She doesn’t say these great things that Maria says; all she does is being there. Like a pillow you can hug at night to not feel alone.

“I’m sorry.”

It doesn’t come from Hannah’s mouth, and that surprises her.

“I know I am a good friend, but see it like this: when I got a boyfriend in seventh grade, you were still following me around like you always were doing. And now when you have a boyfriend, you don’t follow me around. And I like it when you follow me around,” Emelia is whispering.

“I still follow you around,” Hannah whispers back. “And eleven years with you can’t be changed. I did not wake up from that coma because of one thing, I want everything.”

“I know. I know everything,” Emelia says and Hannah doesn’t really know how her friend can be so confident about herself. “I don’t know how it feels for you, getting all your things in Sweden and with what happened with Jonghyun, but these days you have been emotional – I know, Hannah, so don’t say anything else – and I just … want you to know that … well … we are 5 Pieces.”

Hannah lies quiet next to her and though she had given a nod she doesn’t know if Emelia could see that. Her bedroom is really dark. Emelia doesn’t say anything either after that, not really that good with close talks like this. Hannah pouts after a while. “Could I get a hug?” she wonders in a low whisper, trying to hold back her tears again, and she can hear how Emelia gives a chuckle before an arm is put around her. Hannah gets her hug, and she feels better after getting it. It is awkward hearing Emelia apologize and try to talk through things, normally she just pretend to forget things or avoid it and such. This group definitely has their fighting issues and maybe all of them don’t talk things through, but Hannah love each member even if they are weird and fights and are different from each other, and she is happy that she has them.Han

“Don’t tell anyone about this. Maria would tease me for the whole next year,” Emelia mutters when Hannah is getting up.

“Goodnight, Emelia,” Hannah whispers for answer before leaving the room. Outside the room, on her way back to bed, Hannah meets Ryo who is up wandering and she picks him up. “If you pee in my bed tonight, you are banned,” she tells him before carrying him with her to her bed where he lies down on the quilt next to her.

After a long half an hour lying in bed, Hannah picks up her laptop and camera to look through the video she had filmed after transferring it to her laptop. It’s embarrassing, but thinking through what Emelia said, Hannah ends up uploading the video.

{Twitter, 5P_HANNAH: My teacher once told me that we all have a heart, and that we should follow it (twit-video)}

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“I’ll take Ryo,” Hannah says when the van is pulling to a stop, taking off the seatbelt.

“It’s my turn to take Ryo,” Julia says.

Hannah pouts. “Then I’ll take Michin.”

“Fine,” Julia says and the two girls give each other a grimace before getting out of the van with the rest. Hannah jumps to the back of the van, brightly met by their two puppies being lift out by Manager Kim. Julia takes as said Ryo in her arms and Hannah drops down Michin on the asphalt while holding his leash, jumping around a little with him. Michin runs around, and though he keeps running around he is so small so Hannah just has to take a few steps to keep up with him. So crazy this puppy is, he makes her smile nonstop and he runs after the other ladies when Julia whistles for him to come along.

5 Pieces is heading for the rehearsals at KBS Gayo Daejun, which is taking place this evening so after rehearsals it is the actual show so the girls thought it would be mean to let their pets stay at home and be bored while the girls are having fun. Maria has been sitting with Ace in her lap in the van and she is carrying the kitten with her now too. It is a great time to show off their pets to their friends coming and Maria also said the group promised to introduce their pets to their fans, so she says they will do that today. Though they are excited about everything, 5 Pieces will actually perform [I CRY] (Hannah’s song) together as five today, and they are all worried about it because Hannah has always performed it alone or with someone on the piano, and to suddenly perform it with five members is a challenge – especially since it is a song made by Hannah, for her voice and her style. It fits Hannah the best.

Walking to the KBS building, fans are crowding outside. The whole street the group has to walk, fans are lining up as if it is the red carpet. Only difference beside from the look, managers and security are managing to make a road for 5 Pieces to come through. Hannah is carrying Michin by that time, letting him play with the leash she is holding him in while she is hiding under her hood as usual, hiding him in her arms. Their fans that are there seem to go insane seeing the puppies, asking questions while the ladies’ managers are telling the fans to step back and Hannah can see the many different cell phones and cameras being stretched out in the hands of their fans, wanting to catch the ladies on picture or film.

The group is being showed to their dressing-room where the puppies are quickly running around and everyone is getting their things on place. Their stylists are already there, having the clothes lined up on a clothes rack and also getting ready with the make-up and everything else that need to be prepared and the greetings are friendly between the members and Yong Hyun bounces away when Michin is jumping towards him to greet him. Everyone laughs when seeing how scared Yong Hyun is over the little puppy and Hannah falls down on her knees, clapping her hands on her lap for Michin to run back to her, leaving the stylist alone.

“I still can’t believe you actually got puppies. Maria and Carolina are scared of dogs,” Yong Hyun breathes while following the wall over to the make-up table, keeping his eyes on the two puppies running around with their leashes flying after their movements.

“Actually, I’m scared of big dogs,” Maria corrects him. “And these two are just as adorable like Ace.”

“Who says I’m scared of dogs?” Carolina wonders.

“You are,” Emelia answers her; “You keep avoiding Michin whenever he wants to play with you.”

“But… But that’s…” Carolina stutters and then ends up making a grimace. She has never in her whole life had a pet, compared to the other members that either have had a dog of their own or a bunny, so even with Ace she is awkward and doesn’t really know what to do. She like their pets, thinks they are cute and that, but if she lived by herself she wouldn’t have gotten any pets – maybe a fish or something – but the other members seem to love the pets so she is just quietly accepting them.

Manager Kim sets up the indoor fence for their pets, though no one uses it at first because while being in the dressing-room the puppies are able to run around however they want. Yong Hyun starts to give a shout when Emelia pops up next to him with Ryo in her arms and she laughs evil when seeing his reaction. It’s not like he can push the puppy away, not knowing how fragile the little creature is, so all he does is giving out a shout for her to back away. Hannah is sitting on the floor on a blanket, playing around with Michin and then Ace isn’t that unfamiliar with the backstage environment so he is just lying in his own blanket on the sofa, not having to be looked at every second to make sure where he is. Maria says their kitten is so awesome that he just needs a toy and good place to sleep at – therefore the blanket as well as Emelia’s jacket – and he won’t be a nuisance at all, which is good because the puppies make the girls busy enough with their energy and not being able to be still and at the same time the girls are supposed to get ready for rehearsals.

Following Manager Lim entering the room is SHINee’s Taemin, who greets everyone in the room before he shines up and falls down on the floor by the sight of Hannah playing with Michin. Ryo gave a bark by their arrival but Emelia is playing with him so he doesn’t go to greet the stranger and Hannah is fast to pick Michin up for the stranger to not touch him.

“Why won’t you let me play with him?” Taemin pouts, moving closer so he doesn’t have to reach over the floor so much to touch the puppy that is curious to smell him while Hannah is holding him away.

“He is mine,” Hannah answers, hugging on to Michin who gives out a bark over the affection she is giving him. She hushes him though, not wanting the puppies to think they can bark all the time, but though she says those words she lets Taemin play with Michin. Taemin is laughing over how adorable the puppy is and Ryo also comes running to get some attention too, and they are sitting on the floor and playing with the puppies while the others are talking around them and Julia sits down to show off that she has taught both of the puppies how to sit on command.

Taemin is just the first person to drop by to meet the puppies. Probably every idol that is going to perform at KBS tonight as well as staff that love dogs or are close to 5 Pieces all come over to give out light sounds over how cute the puppies are, and the moment it is getting too much (like the second person to come after Taemin) Hannah disappears from the floor to get ready for the rehearsals, not wanting to be part of the many people in the room focusing on the puppies. Too much attention is not Hannah’s thing, which is great because the other members don’t have anything against the attention.

Today’s rehearsal is done wearing the outfits and everything, the final rehearsal before the show. It is the opening first, everyone on the stage wearing their nice clothes with the boys in suits and Hannah is hiding in the very back just because it is too crowded at the front. Hannah stands there while everyone is trying to be at the front, and those standing at the back are stretching up on their toes to see if they can get seen. Hannah takes another step back, wondering how their performances will turn out today. She smiles when Emelia comes to the back, the intro is over and the rest of the rehearsals will go on as if they are doing the actual show. Emelia embraces Hannah in a hug, saying they are heading off the stage, and Hannah can see that everyone else is getting off the stage too. Arm in arm, Hannah walks with Emelia off the stage; Emelia chats with some of the others on the way, but she doesn’t let go off Hannah and she doesn’t slow down her speed.

The whole rehearsal seems to go well, and only left after that for today is the actual show. Hannah takes a picture with her cell phone when they are backstage, a picture of Taemin and Jonghyun both playing with Ryo while sitting on the floor and the picture also captures the blanket Hannah has on her knees.

{Twitter, 5P_HANNAH: (picture) Three cuties playing together, which one is your favourite? ;)}

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Headline 24th: 5 Pieces’ Share Christmas Stories And More On Their 2-Hour Christmas Radio Special

Headline 26th: English Version Of [Daze] Available Online

Headline 26th: 5 Pieces Congratulates DBSK On Their 9th Anniversary

Headline 26th: 5 Pieces’ Hannah Reveals Her Thoughts And Thanks Puzzle In Recent Video

Headline 27th: KBS ‘A Good Cause’ Airs Episode 9 With 5 Pieces’ Deep Talk + Never Before Seen Clips From The Season