Junmyeon grumbled in his seat as he watched Kyungsoo place the last of the dishes onto the dinner table, arms sore from being restrained for so long. He glared pointedly at Luhan, the elder humming contentedly as his eyes searched the dinner table.

 

“We’re having dinner together. Can you please just let me out of this now?” Junmyeon pleaded, Luhan tutting in response.

 

“Patience is a virtue, dear Junmyeonnie.”

 

“You’re not the one in a straightjacket.” Junmyeon mumbled, upset.

 

“I will come over there and tighten it if you don’t shut up.”

 

Junmyeon pouted as he stared down at his plate, silent. Luhan smirked.

 

The round table was much too small for a dinner party the size of the one at the cupids' apartment, but that didn’t stop the group of friends from gathering around for a nice family dinner.

 

The first 20 minutes consisted of Yixing spoon feeding Junmyeon.

 

The next 10 minutes after that found Chanyeol and Kyungsoo making out (a scene now all too familiar with the group).

 

And the 10 minutes after that? Well, that’s where things got weird(er).

 

It’s in those next 10 minutes that something in Luhan… snapped.

 

Luhan was higher than usual. That much was evident to the people sitting around the dinner table as they looked up at boy currently stripping while standing among a pile of homemade dishes that Kyungsoo had so lovingly prepared. Everyone inwardly (and not so inwardly) cringed as Luhan danced on the wooden table, knocking over a bowl of caesar salad as he tried to do ballet while taking off his shirt.

 

Kyungsoo looked like he was about to burst into flames. His eye twitched and he was glaring at Luhan like he wanted to kill him. To death. Before Death.

 

Chanyeol tried to comfort the tiny devil to no avail. (I mean, it’s not like anyone would’ve even touched the salad anyways. We’re all too unhealthy for that.)

 

Everything was terribly awkward.

 

“WOOHOO LOOK AT MY INDENTS.” Luhan screamed, lifting up his shirt to reveal budding abs that were currently only in the indents stage. Everyone was mildly impressed considering none of them had ever seen Luhan work out a day of his life. Yifan tried not to pop a .

 

“Huehuehue. I get it.” Sehun snickered into his palm.

 

“What’s to get?”

 

“Wu-Hoo ahahaha because he’s clearly talking to Yifan because Yifan is the only one who gives a about Luhan and woo-hoo and Wu Yifan and aha Luhan you clever little .”

 

Luhan furrowed his eyebrows a little bit, sobering up a little from the confusion. “Yes. I am extremely clever and of course I did come up with that pun because I meant to come up with that pun on my own. Yes. I did. So clever of me. Very clever I am.”

 

Yifan snorted. “Who are you? Yoda?”

 

Nobody reacted (excluding Chanyeol, who looked mildly offended).

 

Crickets chirped.

 

“Nerd.” Yixing fake coughed. Junmyeon smiled and hit his shoulder against Yixing’s hand in an attempt to high five him. Chanyeol and his tiny devil were making out quietly.

 

~~~~~~~

 

 

“Pssst. Chanyeol. That’s the wrong one.”

 

Chanyeol looked at the card he was holding up. “Oh oops,” he laughed. “That one’s for math class.

 

“I think this one’s the right one.” He held up another card.

 

 

~~~~~~~

 

Dinner was a success (a.k.a. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo ate each other’s faces, Luhan was eventually coaxed off the top of the table by Yifan, Sehun and Minseok fed each other and Minseok broke his personal record of how many dumplings he could stuff in his mouth at once. Junmyeon and Yixing snuck glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking, and Baekhyun bragged about how he got back with Taeyeon.)

 

Everyone gathered around the living room after they helped with the dishes, and eventually Junmyeon and Yixing ended up telling everyone about how ing bat crazy Luhan went at the park the afternoon before.

 

Sehun scoffed. “That’s not even that bad. One time Luhan tried to suffocate some innocen-”

 

“Well to be fair,” Luhan cut in. “that was on one of my bad days, and I wouldn’t say innocent, since-”

 

“HE LITERALLY TOLD THE PERSON THAT SHE WAS BREATHING WRONG AND THAT IF SHE COULDN’T DO IT RIGHT SHE JUST SHOULDN’T DO IT AT ALL”

 

“OKAY BUT TO BE FAIR THAT WAS ON ONE OF MY REALLY BAD DAYS.”

 

Yifan raised an extremely thick and angry-bird-like eyebrow. “Jesus, Luhan were you on your period or something?”

 

Everyone gave Yifan a dubious look.

 

“Um. Yifan. I think thats only a girl thing.”

 

“Whut.” Yifan looked down at his own crotch, remembering the maxi pad that he had to put in earlier to staunch the bleeding. “Then why…?”

 

“Oh is that why your always seems so big?”

 

But that was when everything went to .

 

“HOLY LUHAN PUT DOWN THE SPEAR WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT FROM”

 

“RELAX JUNMYEON I’M ONLY GOING TO KILL YIFAN A LITTLE BIT FOR CALLING ME A GIRL”

 

“GOD. DAMN. IT. YIFAN. I. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. UTERUS.” He shouted between stabs.

 

Everyone scrambled to pull Luhan off of the other cupid, who was groaning as he bled out of multiple stab wounds.

 

Kyungsoo grabbed the spear that pretty much appeared out of nowhere and threw it out the window, somehow hitting Luhan’s old archery teacher who was just passing by right in the stab wound in his thigh from Luhan’s previous lesson with him. Kyungsoo winced and quickly ducked out of sight of the older cupid.

 

The room soon went quiet, the only sounds coming from the elder cupid’s screams of pain from outside the window.

 

“I don’t have a uterus.” Luhan mutters, glaring at Yifan.

 

“Though if I did I would probably name it Lucinda.”

 

Kyungsoo looked a little weirded out, but chose not to question Luhan.

 

“I’d name mine after taetae” Baekhyun said to no one in particular with a dreamy smile.

 

Yifan wrinkled his nose. “You’d name your uterus after your girlfriend? Isn’t that kinda creepy?”

 

“Um excuse you, it’s not like you can come up with better. Plus it’s romantic. Duh.”

 

“I’m Canadian.” Yifan retorted.

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 

Yifan blinked. “Yes.” he replied monotonously. Everyone decided to just leave him be.

 

“I’d name mine 包子.” Minseok said, stomach growling despite having just eaten.

 

“I would name mine pinku pinku,” Sehun decided, sending Luhan a smile that the latter returned.

 

“I would name mine Kyunggie!” Chanyeol boomed, giggling and snuggling up to Kyungsoo.

 

“I’d name mine after you so I could call my period blood Park Bone Soup. By the way, tell your mom I learned how to make that.”

 

Everyone tried to ignore those two as they started making out again. Baekhyun looked proud of his friend.

 

“What would you name your uterus, Junmyeon?” Yixing asked, turning to the cupid next to him.

 

Junmyeon fumbled for a bit. He thought of answering honestly (I’d name mine after you) but decided against it and just ended up shrugging helplessly.

 

Yixing looked undisturbed. “I’d name mine $uhoe. Like your rapper name.” he winked, blushing a little.

 

~~~~~~~

 

The night soon came to an end, and it was time for everyone to go home. At least, that’s what Junmyeon tried to get everyone to do before Luhan proposed a ‘super fun sleepover’ at the apartment.

 

And so, there Junmyeon sat, among the piles of sleeping bags, still restrained in his straightjacket, as the boys huddled together in a circle, playing a game Junmyeon couldn’t be bothered with participating in.

 

All he knew was the aching in his arms and the cupids that put him in the situation.

 

(And also that it was nearing his bedtime and he really needed to get his beauty sleep before midnight or else his face would break out but it wouldn’t even matter because he can’t wash his face because he’s in a ing straight jacket)

 

After seeing the distress on the elder’s face, Yixing quickly ushered everyone to bed, quietly stepping aside to ask Luhan to kindly undo the straightjacket.

 

“If it were anyone other than you, Xingxing…” Luhan murmured, releasing the buckles, Junmyeon almost crying in relief. Luhan scoffed as he returned to his sleeping bag.

 

“Thanks for the help.” Junmyeon said, stretching out his sore arms.

 

“You were in a straightjacket for nearly two days. I wasn’t not going to help.”

 

“That didn’t stop the rest of them from doing nothing.” Junmyeon said, wincing as Yixing’s hands lightly massaged his sore muscles.

 

“Well, I don’t think any of them are attracted to handsome dorks who manage to get themselves trapped in straightjackets in the first place.”

 

“That’s arguable, I mean- wait what?”

 

Yixing gave Junmyeon a soft smile, just big enough to display his adorable dimples.

 

“Come on, let’s get you some ice.”

 

~~~~~~~

 

The lights were off, but the chatter in the room was as loud as ever. Sehun smiled inwardly as he felt Minseok nuzzle himself a little closer into his side, both boys sighing contentedly.

 

“This is actually really nice.” Minseok mused, smiling into the fabric of Sehun’s shirt.

“What is?”

 

“Everything. Everyone’s happy. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are as happy as ever, Baekhyun’s back together with Taeyeon, and I’m pretty sure Junmyeon and Yixing just snuck into the kitchen to go make out.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

 

“It’s weird though, seeing everyone like this. Especially Luhan. I still can’t believe I used to have a crush on him. Maybe it’s just because I didn’t know how much of a psychomaniac he was- er, is.”

 

“The thought of Luhan being anything other than a psychomaniac is strange to me.”

 

“I think he and Yifan go well together though. A lot better than you and Luhan would’ve. And that’s not just because we’re dating.”

 

Sehun nodded, lips pursed in thought.

 

He had almost forgotten about Luhan.

 

“I’m happy that everyone’s happy.” Minseok reiterated as he nuzzled a bit deeper. Sehun could feel the elder’s breathing slow as he fell asleep. The youngest trailed his eyes around the room, almost all of the boys asleep before Sehun even realized.

 

And, in the darkness of the room, Sehun decides to prod at the sleeping figure to his opposite side, where Luhan was, trying his best to turn without disturbing Minseok.

 

“Luhan.” the boy whispered, gaining the attention of the elder.

 

“The do you want?”

 

“I need to know something. We’ve been best friends for a while, yeah?”

 

“Where is this going?”

 

“Did you used to have a crush on me?”

 

Luhan’s eyes widened, tips of his ears turning pink, the sight almost invisible in the darkness of the room. Luhan sighed as he buried his face in his hands.

 

“Oh my god, I never wanna think about that again.”

 

“So… yes?”

 

“Kinda.”

 

“Well, it’s understandable. I’m pretty hot.”

 

“Don’t flatter yourself, Sehun. The only reason was because the ministry decided it was the only way for me to not up your love life.”

 

“Whatever.” Sehun said. “But you still liked me~” he singsonged, teasing the elder.

 

“ off.”

 

Sehun smiled, the two sharing a comfortable silence for a few moments as the rest of their friends slept. “What about Yifan, then?”

 

“What about Yifan?”

 

“Things seem to be going well with you two.”

 

Luhan smiled fondly. “Things have been going well for a while. He was the one I liked before you. Although, I’m not sure if it counts, since it was all just the effects from the vaccinations.”

 

“Vaccinations? What the happened before we met?”

 

“Uh… I was born to two cupid parents in the cupid hospital and spent my days in my little cupid crib-”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“We went to school together when we were younger, and the ministry called me in one day because they said I was mature enough to take care of one of their ‘gifted students’-” Luhan began, inducing a scoff from Sehun. “I don’t know why you’re the one who finds this funny. They only assigned me to you because they didn’t think you could find love without someone’s help, no matter how deranged the cupid.” Luhan deadpanned, leaving Sehun speechless.

 

“Anywhoodle, every cupid needs to get vaccinations before they come to Earth to help people.”

 

“Why do you need vaccinations though?”

 

“So we don’t up anyone’s love life if we don’t like them. It’s normally just friendly well-wishing, but they thought I’d need a bit more than that, so they gave me lovey dovey feelings.”

 

“So what does this have to do with Yifan?”

 

“I didn’t get to see him after I got the vaccinations. I almost forgot about him. The they injected me with basically just gave me tunnel vision for-” Luhan cringed, “You.”

 

Sehun rolled his eyes. “I hope you don’t scare Yifan away. He’s pretty cool. Looks a bit scary, but he’s pretty cool.”

 

Luhan chuckled. “Sehun, Yifan’s known me for a long time now. If there’s anyone guaranteed to not be scared away, it’s him.”

 

~~~~~~~

 

“Things have been going well for a while. He was the one I liked before you. Although, I’m not sure if it counts, since it was all just the effects from the vaccinations.”

 

Yifan could feel the blush rise to his cheeks, his ears heating up as he covered his face in the edge of his sleeping bag, smiling as he tried to ignore his quickening heartbeat.

 

~~~~~~~

 

The next morning was met with screams of confusion.

 

“WHAT THE DO YOU MEAN, MARRIAGE?” Yifan shouted into the receiver.

 

“Oh calm the down, Fan-Fan, it’s not me that’s getting married, it’s Jeremy and Melissa.” Tao explained calmly.

“AND WHO THE IS THAT?”

 

“Oh my god, stop screaming. It’s Jongdae and my closet monsters.”

 

“WHAT THE DO YOU MEAN, ‘STOP SCREAMING’? YOU’RE TRYING TO INVITE US TO A WEDDING? AND WHOSE? YOUR CLOSET MONSTERS’?”

 

“When the did you get a closet monster?” Sehun asked.

 

“I’ve always had her. Haven’t you met her before? She’s the reason you woke up that morning with Pinku-Pinku chewed up and spitty-”

 

“THE DID YOU SAY?”

 

“I mean, whaaaat? Who would do such a thing?”

 

“Your closet monster is dead to me.”

 

“Oh Sehunnie, don’t be like that. This is a big event for Jeremy! If not for her, do it for me!”

 

“I really hate you sometimes.”

 

Tao squealed. “I’ll see all of you later!”

 

~~~~~~~

 

“I told you! This is a black tie event!” Tao whined in frustration as the 10 boys- and middle aged woman- arrived on his doorstep (Sehun made sure to bring Jongin so he wouldn’t be able to flirt with his mom. Unfortunately for him, his mom decided to tag along anyways.)

 

“Yes exactly! So why are you wearing sparkly leather pants?” Jongdae asked Tao, stepping out onto the threshold behind the latter.

 

“Well, I’m wearing a black tie, aren’t I?”

 

“That’s not what a black tie event means, Tao.” Sehun said, cringing away from his friend’s blinding pants.

 

“This is Jeremy and Melissa’s big day, okay? I’m not gonna have you ruin it because your fashion taste is subpar.”

 

“Oh, burn.” Jongin hissed, high fiving Sehun’s mom.

 

“It’s official. I hate all of you.

 

“So, how is this wedding gonna work, exactly?”

 

“Skype.”

 

“Why Skype?”

 

“Well, closet monsters aren’t really meant to leave their closets, and Melissa’s not very good in front of crowds, ergo the Skyping. Come on, we’re about to start.”

 

~~~~~~~

 

“We are gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony of-”

 

“Wait, why are you the minister?”

 

“I got ordained online, yo. Anyways, we’re here to witness the-”

 

“But-”

 

“This is the wedding of two closet monsters that’s happening over Skype. Why is me being the minister the part that annoys you?”

 

~~~~~~~

 

The wedding was short, a majority of it occupied by the pleased garbles of the- now married- closet monsters.

 

Much to Tao’s dismay, most of the guests had forgotten to bring wedding presents, save for Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, who both tried to buy Jeremy snazzy furniture for her closet. It didn’t quite work out however, as Jeremy just ate it the moment she saw it. (Tao scolded her again for that.)

 

Sehun’s mom however, bought both closet monsters better webcams so they could skype in High Definition, and this time Tao held Jeremy back on a leash to keep her from trying to consume it.

 

After all that was over, the gang stayed over for the badly burnt cooked food Tao and Jongdae had prepared. No one knew how they manage to burn milk, but they did.

 

Luhan even manage to trick everyone into drinking waffle batter again (Junmyeon helped Kyungsoo put Luhan in a straightjacket and Jeremy slobbered happily all over his tied up body.) (Luhan only stayed restrained for a few minutes. He arrived back to the festivities with a ripped up straightjacket. Nobody asked any questions, Luhan gave no answers.)

 

Jongin liked it though, and proposed to Sehun’s mother in a state of mental instability that he would like to blame on the batter. He was laughed at and promised more cupcakes when they get home though, so that’s always fun.

 

All in all, both nothing and everything had changed.

 

Luhan was still bat crazy, only now, he had a boyfriend to share it with.

 

Baekhyun was back together with his girlfriend, but he found a group of new friends, too.

 

Junmyeon found someone of his own, someone sweet and kind (although often clueless).

 

Kyungsoo remained the same ball of anger that he was before, but now had a idiotic giant that was as crazy for the little spawn of satan as the little spawn of satan was for the idiotic giant.

 

Jongin was still a little , but even he was happy.

 

Jongdae and Tao fell in love (and so did their closet monsters!).

 

And Sehun finally got the boy he had been in love with for so many years.

 

Nothing had changed, but at the same time, everything changed.

 

And Sehun decided that, maybe, that may not be too bad.