Someone was ringing the doorbell and like the good butler roommate he was, Junmyeon went to answer the door.

Junmyeon flung open the door just as he dipped into a flourishing bow, one hand leading into the apartment and one hand on the door in case he needed to slam it in Luhan any unwanted intruder’s face.

“Hello visitor, my name is $uhoe and I’ll be your dashing guide to this humble abode. This apartment may look small, but it’s home to two different species and the king of hell. Also one hell of a rapper and I don’t mean Chanyeol if you know what I'm talking abou-”

Junmyeon turned to wink at whoever was at the door and something registered (too late) that the person at the door was Yixing. Of course. The one time it isn’t some idiot from Luhan’s cult or another organ donor for one of Kyungsoo’s projects, oh no. It just had to be Junmyeon’s crush.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said, coming down the stairs. “who’s at the door?”

“UH” Junmyeon shouted nervously as he slammed the door in Yixing’s face. “NO ONE”

“Was that Lay?”

“NO.”

“Do you think he would be willing to-”

“No Kyungsoo, I doubt Lay would be willing to give up his liver for you.”

“Well I was gonna say stay for dinner because you’re an impotent old man who needs to get laid but okay.”

From outside the door, Yixing spoke up. “I would actually love to stay for dinner Kyungsoo, though I’m not sure about the rest.”

Junmyeon’s eyes widened as he flung the door back open. “nONONOOOOOOO LAY, NO YOU WOULD NOT LIKE TO STAY FOR DINNER. TRUST ME”

“Oh come ooon, staying for dinner isn’t that bad.” Kyungsoo protested

“TRUST ME, IT IS SO BAD.”

"Well can I stay anyways?”

“NO” Junmyeon shouted, pushing the door shut again with a loud slam.

~~~~~~~

Yixing ends up staying for dinner anyways.

“Just to be clear, I am very displeased with this arrangement.” Suho stated for the nth time, pouting as he sat at their dinner table, straightjacketed into submission.

“Oh stop whining so much.” Kyungsoo scolded. “You’re acting like a child. An impotent old man-child.”

“Kyungsoo!” the elder whined, struggling against the binding.

“And I’m saying that while dating Chanyeol and he’s probably the biggest man-child there is. I mean that literally because, in addition to being a child, he’s also a ing skyscraper.”

“But I’m your man-child-skyscraper.” the boy said, tilting his head to the side, jutting his lip out in a failed attempt to look cute, Kyungsoo cringing as a result. “Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t love me.”

“You’re stupid.” Kyungsoo replied, laying out the food onto the table.

“Yeah, but I’m your-”

“Uh… Junmyeon?” Yixing asked tentatively. “Are things always like this with them?”

“Yeah. Just… shield your eyes before they start going at it.”

“Going at it?” the boy asked, trailing off as his gaze shifted from Junmyeon to the pair now furiously making out. “Ah…” he said, grimacing.

“Yeah, dinners with these two are never fun. Do you wanna go somewhere else?”

“Gladly.”
 

~~~~~~~

After about 20 minutes of trying to remove the straightjacket from Junmyeon,

(“HOW THE DID KYUNGSOO GET IT ON SO WELL?” the elder screamed, trying to tear the garment off with his teeth.

“Where did he even get it from?”

“I DON’T KNOW, AND I DON’T THINK I WANT TO KNOW. IT’S SCARY HOW WELL HE CAN SECURE PEOPLE INTO THESE THINGS.”)

the two continued their not-a-date-possibly-a-date, as Junmyeon liked to call it (the title was a work in progress), at the one place he was positive that the two would be away from the harem of hormonal teenage boys he was normally with, and with the closest thing to a normal friend he’s made in the mess.

Baekhyun tilted his head to the side as he let the pair in. “You know, when I said that we should hang out again, I didn’t think it would be here and now. But you know, whatever floats your boat.”

“Sorry about the intrusion, but I’m halfway positive that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were about to go at it on the dining table.”

Baekhyun chuckled. “Why am I not surprised? I mean, if he’s gonna pick Kwangsoo over my y piece of , he better get what he can." he said, leading the pair to the dining table.

"Now... can you please explain why you're in a straightjacket?"