"I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! ALL OF YOUR IDEAS ARE BAD!" Junmyeon shouted as they rushed into the car.

"OH SHUT UP AND DRIVE, YOU OLD MAN!" Luhan shouted back, buckling his seatbelt hurriedly.

"'TRUST ME, THE ZOO KEEPERS WON'T EVEN NOTICE IF THE PENGUIN GOES MISSING." The younger boy mocked, screwing up his features as he set the car into ignition.

"OH, SO WE'RE PLAYING THAT GAME, ARE WE?"

"DON'T BE LAME, SKINNY DIPPING IN THE SCHOOL FOUNTAIN WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!"

"HEY IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS PUTTING A GUN TO YOUR HEAD TO DO IT!"

"OH, BECAUSE ARROWS ARE SO FAR OFF."

"OKAY FINE BUT-"

"HEY LET'S PARADE AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING OUT CONDOMS WITH JONGHYUN'S FACE ON THEM BECAUSE THE ER BORROWED MY PEN AND NEVER GAVE IT BACK."

"YOU SWORE WE'D NEVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN!"

"HEY LET'S PUNCH ALL THE CUSTOMERS AT THE FACE SHOP IN THE FACE AND SUE THE STORE FOR SELLING PRODUCTS THAT MADE YOU BRUISE MORE EASILY!"

"YOU KNOW WHA-"

"HEY LET'S DO THE CHARITY MARATHON IN HIGH HEELS SO WE CAN STOMP ON THE TOES OF PEOPLE AHEAD OF US."

"BUT IT WORKED DIDN'T IT-"

"LET'S RIDE A GIRAFFE TO THE BASKETBALL TEAM TRYOUTS TO SHOW UP KRIS-"

Scrambling to peel off his sock and stuff it in Junmyeon's mouth, Luhan quickly dragged the other cupid down by the ear so he could furiously whisper for him to shut up before Kris - who was in the back seat - could hear.

Spitting out the sock in disgust, Junmyeon wrestled his way out of Luhans hold. "I'M DRIVING JESUS I COULD'VE GOTTEN US ALL KILLED!"

"IT'S OKAY," Kris shouted from the back seat, "I GOTCHU."

"AYYY," Junmyeon shouted back.

"JUNMYEON WHAT ARE YOU DOING CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE BREAKING LUHAN'S HEART?" Minseok shouted from where he was cuddling Sehun next to Kris.

Everyone turned to Luhan who has turned beet red, rubbing the tips of two arrows together in a lame attempt to create fire and set FIRE TO THE RAIN himself on fire.

Sehun laughed at Luhan, reaching over Minseok to the ferret in Kris's hold (much to Chanyeol's dismay) that they had kidnapped because Kris had gotten attached to it and upon noticing it, Luhan had suggested taking it to sacrifice to Kyungsoo as a peace offering during their cult hours.

Unfortunately for Junmyeon and Kris, the ferret did NOT have a bladder of steel and started peeing in the car in the same place that Luhan had peed a few days ago (which is to say, on Kris' lap), the smell of ferret pee and kumquats permeating the air.

"I'm never going on trips with you guys ever again." Yifan muttered, trying to ignore Minseok's statement as he hid his blush.

There's no way...

~~~furashubacku~~~

“Yifan!” The teacher’s shrill scream snapped him out of his reverie. “Pay attention!”

He mumbled a quiet sorry as Luhan snickered next to him.

Stupid ing Luhan and his stupid pretty face and his stupid pretty smile and his stupid pretty everything.

Yifan grumbled as he directed his attention back to the books in front of them, absentmindedly doodling over the pages of his notebook.

“What is that supposed to be?” Luhan asked in a hushed tone.

“The pet ferret we can hopefully raise together sometime in the future.”

Luhan furrowed his brows in confusion. “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because it looks like a personified bottle of expensive mascara brushes.”

Yifan wanted to throw back something witty or clever but all he could manage was a quiet “haha...yeah” because Luhan was way too close for his brain to function properly.

“Well, points for honesty I guess,” Luhan tittered, letting out a half snort that Yifan found just plain adorable.

Yifan sighed in relief as the bell rung, quickly gathering his things and running from the elder before Luhan noticed the pink tint in his cheeks.

~~~~~~~

Yifan found everything too pink for his liking.

The pink clouds, the pink buildings, the pink food- it just didn't suit his taste.

He learned to love it, though.

He doesn't think he'll ever forget that day.

It was right after school, Luhan dragging the younger of the cupids around the park nearby the school. After strolling happily on the very pink fields of grass, the elder pushed Yifan down, the clumsy boy falling on his back atop the tall hill, Luhan following suit.

"Isn't it just beautiful?" The older asked dreamily.

"What?"

"The sky... the way it looks like it was painted with blood and someone tried to bleach it off but couldn't quite get the job done-"

Yifan swallowed hard. "Excuse me?" He asked, voice cracking.

"Shhhhhh just let it happen."

"Luhan what are you even saying."

"I'm saying- it's a really pretty colour. It's that same colour your cheeks turn when I get really close to you."

"Uh what colour?"

"The colour you're turning right now." Luhan said as he leaned in to poke Yifan.

"Luhan, I-"

"Shhhh." Luhan whispered, slapping his palm on top of Yifan's half opened mouth. "Let uncle Lu-Lu talk for a minute." He said with a deep sigh. "I have to leave soon."

"What?" Yifan said in shock and mild panic.

"The ministry of cupids had deemed me mature enough to take care of one of their younger 'gifted' students. Apparently everyone hates this kid so much they've decided to punish me by setting me up with him."

"Wait, the ministry deemed you fit to raise a child? Like a small cupid with potential to someday go out in public and room to learn from someone like you?!"

Luhan was mildly offended.

"I mean," Yifan added as an afterthought, "no offense."

Luhan was just as, if not more, offended.

"I'll shut up now." Yifan muttered.

"Damn straight, you'll shut up now. As I was saying, I got assigned to some kid, but he's not a cupid." He said with a shrug of the shoulders.

"Wait. They're trusting you with a human?! Luhan, humans aren't like cupids! If you stab them, they will die!"

"Oh come on, why does no one trust me?" he asked, throwing his arms up in frustration. "I thought you of all people would believe in me." he muttered quietly.

Yifan blinked in confusion. "Why me?"

Luhan stared point blank at the other cupid, wondering if Kris was seriously stupider than he - the guy who wore duct tape as a stand in for snowpants - was. "You know what- never mind. The point is, you gotta help me with this guy. Also, the ministry is making me take the vaccinations early since I'm gonna be in charge of a human now."

"I thought they weren't mandatory unless you're planning to actually work on earth?"

"Yeah but I'm apparently such an extraordinarily bad cupid they chose to put in extra strong enforcements so I'm not screwing up the poor kid's love life. So instead of friendly well-wishing it's gonna be full on lovey dovey feelings that they're injecting into me."

"Whoa Luhan has feelings? I'm gonna need to videotape that."

"Can you not."

"Can I please."

"I hate you."

Yifan chuckled. "So who's the unlucky kid?"

"Some loser called Oh Sehun."