Honestly, at this point, Junmyeon wasn’t even surprised anymore.

He was in the middle of running away from Baekhyun, who was chasing him with a funnel cake in his arms, who was running away from Lay, the boy being followed by a small group of children wearing red hats.

And that wasn’t even the strange part.

No, the strange part was when the loudspeakers sounded and he was called to park security.

He showed up a few minutes later, unsure of whether to laugh or shout at the idiots situated behind metal bars.

Yes, the group of idiots landed themselves in amusement park jail.

“How did this happen?” Junmyeon asked, running a hand through his hair.

“Okay, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to get angry.” Luhan said quickly.

“I promise nothing.”

“Okay, fair enough. It started earlier today-”

~~~~~~~

“Yifan, hurry up!” Luhan whispered furiously.

“Luhan, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Shut up, it’s brilliant.”

“We’ve been following them for nearly an hour now. Can we go on a ride or something?”

“No Yifan, we can’t go on a ride. We need to follow them.”

“But why?” he whined.

“Because I’m 200% positive that they are secretly in love with each other!”

“If they were so ‘in love with each other’, then they’d already be a couple.”

Luhan shook his head. “And people call me the stupid one.” he muttered under his breath. “Look at them!” he shouted, grabbing Yifan’s face and directing it to the two boys wandering around together. “With the amount of ual frustration between the two, it’s obvious they aren’t going out!”

“ual-”

“And it’s our job as cupids to get them together!”

“Luhan-”

“Come on now, get the bow and arrow out of my bag.”

“You brought your bow and arrow to an amusement park?”

“I bring it with me everywhere. Now hurry up, they’re getting away!”

"You realize you can't bring weapons though, right?"

"OH MY GOD YIFAN SHUT UP AND JUST GRAB MY BOW SO WE CAN SHOOT THEM ALREADY"

Yifan shushed the other loudly and slapped his hand over Luhans mouth but it was too late. The damage had been done.

"THAT MAN HAS A WEAPON AND HE'S ABOUT TO SHOOT MY FAMILY!" Some poor, misleaded passerby shouted, and Luhan whirled on them in fury, trying to strangle the poor girl with his bow. Yifan wrestled the other cupid off and they ran, park security hot on their tails.

~~~~~~~

“-and that’s how we got here.” Luhan finished with a smile. Junmyeon buried his face in his hands.

“Luhan, I’d expect this from," Junmyeon began, ignoring Luhan, the boy shouting in indignation. "-but you, Minseok?”

"It wasn't my fault."

Junmyeon sighed.

"Hear me out, okay? So we were eating funnel cake-"

~~~~~~~~

Sehun and Minseok exchanged wary glances as the boy holding their $20 worth of dessert ran away, followed by Yixing.

"Did Baekhyun tell you where he was going?" he panted.

"No, but he did steal our funnel cake."

Yixing groaned, running a hand through his hair as he continued the chase.

Sehun sighed. "So I guess no more funnel cake for us."

"Do you wanna go on a ride?"

“No I want funnel cake.”

“Ughh but then we’d have to follow Baekhyun and that involves running and exercise and like that and if theres anything Oh Sehun does not like its running and exercise oh actually thats two things but whatever and Minseok why are you so quiet are you even listening to me- aaaaaand he’s gone. ,” Sehun groaned as he started jogging in the general direction Baekhyun disappeared off to, knowing Minseok must have taken his suggestion and chased after the funnel cake thief.

A few minutes later, Sehun was completely lost, turning to find two idiots that he happened to know but unfortunately the wrong ones. It was Luhan and Kris, running past him for some reason, and Sehun figured they were his best chances of not being completely separated from the group. Groaning even more as Sehun was already wheezing and drowning in his own fog of sweat, Sehun jumped on Luhan’s passing figure so as to stop him from running, and accidently inhaled what seemed like an ant as he and Luhan tumbled on the ground, Luhan blindly kicking and waving his arrow around menacingly until he saw it was only Sehun.

“YYYYYOOOOOUUUU LITTTLE-”

“OH MY GOD LUHAN YOU CAN SHOVE ARROWS UP SEHUN’S LATER, WE NEED TO ING RUN RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU WANT JUNMONEY TO SHOVE ARROWS UP YOUR IF WE GET ARRESTED” Kris yelled.

“You mean when you get arrested,” A voice interrupted, everyone turning to see a particularly short security guard staring up at them menacingly surrounded by his posse of other security guards.

“YOOOOO ARE YOU CHINESE TOO?” Luhan yelled upon seeing that the security guard’s name tag read Chen. “BEIJING REPRESENT!” Luhan yelled, hand up for a high five, only to be rejected when Chen slapped a hand cuff on his wrist instead.

“WHAT!?”

“You can’t bring weapons into the park, much less try to actually shoot people with them.”

“THEY AREN’T MINE THOUGH, THEY’RE THEY’RE THEY’RE UHH THEY’RE HIS!” Luhan shouted, ing the bow and arrows at Sehun, who was frantically trying to pray for Satan’s pointy to erupt from the ground and him up the until he died so he wouldn’t have to associate with Luhan anymore.

“I swear to god officer, I don’t know this man, I only tackled him because I was trying to stop him and his partner in crime from doing more heinous deeds,” Sehun said earnestly.

Luhan smirked. “Yeah sureee wouldn’t you love to have never met me. Chen, buddy, hear me out-”

“I’m not your buddy.”

“Shut up I’m talking. Hear me out, I’ve been friends with this guy since forever (unfortunately). His name is Oh Sehun, his favourite food is bubble tea, he dreams of boning this other guy Minseok - or maybe being boned by him I don’t really know or want to know, they have a ten year old son who’s actually Sehun’s step dad because the ten year old used to have a crush on me but then developed a crush on Sehun’s mom who’s actually really awesome it’s a shame she got such a ty son-”

“Hey!” Sehun squawked in indignation.

“-he’s gotten his arm stuck in a vending machine before, drank what I thought was marinated horse but is actually waffle batter, tied me up and spanked me with smelly socks before throwing me in a weird smelly hotel bathtub, did a bunch of other questionable things like not love me back I mean what whaaat shhh hush its okay- and he was attempting to me just now.”

Chen furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but went and slapped handcuffs on Sehun too. “I didn’t get most of what that one just said,” he said to Sehun, “but Oh Sehun- is not okay.”

“Hey, that’s exactly what I told him,” Minseok said as he appeared out of nowhere.

“MINSEOK BABY THANK GOD! TELL THEM I’M INNOCENT, CONVINCE THEM WITH YOUR MISLEADINGLY CHERUBIC FACE THAT SOMETIMES MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A E”

“Oh my god. Okay, you know what-” Chen mumbled, slapping handcuffs on all of them, Kris and Minseok included.

~~~~~~~

Junmyeon turned to Chen with his best disapproving-mother look, crossing his arms and tapping his foot. When he spoke again, his voice was just the tiniest bit tighter and higher pitched, almost like a real angry mom.

“Chen is this how you do your job? Arresting everyone even if they’re innocent? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

“Don’t talk to me like that ma’am, its not my fault all your kids are crazy and you’re too old and impotent to properly enforce your rules on them.

“WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I’M OLD AND IMPOTENT!? I’M ING SEVENTEEN YOU MOTHERER WHAT ARE YOU? 60? I BET YOUR WIFE’S CHEATING ON YOU RIGHT NOW  BECAUSE YOUR PUNY LITTLE WRINKLE OF A MAKES HER FALL ASLEEP WHEN YOU GUYS HAVE SCARY AND YOU HAVE TO STUFF UP YOUR ‘CAUSE IT’S THE ONLY THING YOU CAN USE THOSE USELESS GODDAMN PILLS FOR NOT THAT I’M SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE NOW THAT I’M GONNA CUT YOUR OFF” Junmoney shouted as he repeated slapped Chen with his bulging duffle bag of bail money that he brought because he just knew Luhan would get arrested.