Panicking wasn’t something Tao did often. Occasionally, yes, like when he thought someone had raided his closet but it just turned out to be the monster that lived in there thrashing as usual, or when he thought his stuffed dog turned transspecies and grew really long ears, but apparently it was actually just a baby bunny and bunnies ears just got longer as they aged! This time however, it was a slightly less serious problem. Tao just, well, didn’t know what to wear. Usually when these things happen he would just consult Kris, who gave him great advice by telling his what not to wear. (“Well I mean, that yellow raincoat with the duck on it is pretty cute…” “You’re telling me to wear a raincoat to the beach??”) But this time Kris was off doing god-knows-what with his other cupids friends and Sehun, so Tao was not left to his own devices.

Which was how after an hour passed by without Tao knowing, the doorbell rang and Tao answered it in his boxers, thinking it was Kris. He was so, so wrong.

“Uh…” Was the first thing that came out of a blushing Jongdae’s mouth, the shorter actually dressed in a plaid button-up and denim. “A-aare you ready for our date?”

“HOLY MOTHER THERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES BENZ WHAT IN THE NAME OF SCARY KRISUS ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU HALF BAKED SON OF A CORN FLAKE CHICKEN COOP YOU’RE LIKE FOUR HOURS EARLY WHAT THE ”

“Well I’m on time, like a couple minutes late actually, uhm I-I can come back later if you want?”

“Nononono I need fashion advice come with me,” Tao muttered, grabbing Jongdae by the wrist and dragging him upstairs. Jongdae heard a low growl coming from deep within the closet, and seeing his scared and confused face Tao chuckled, gesturing towards his wardrobe.

“This is Jeremy, the monster inside my closet. She feeds off of the corporeal good intentions of kind hearted people. Like your flowers. Also, she says ‘hi’.”

“H-hi,” Jongdae said, waving a little at the shadowy depths of Tao’s collection of clothing with the hand holding the flowers that Tao wasn’t grabbing onto.

Another growl came, this time riddled with high pitched squeaks as well, like nails on a chalkboard.

“She says she wants you to move your hand closer,” Tao translates calmly, riffling through his collection of clothing and occasionally throwing some onto his bed for later examination.

Jongdae did as told. Suddenly, the bouquet that he was waving around was enshrouded in dark shadow for a split second until it just disappeared, Jongdae left holding a handful of flower stems in shock.

“Jeremy! Apologize! You should’ve asked first before eating those! And next time eat the stems too,  you’re wasting food!” Tao chided, apologizing to Jongdae.

“It’s okay,” Jongdae said awkwardly, throwing the rest of the stems into the closet too, all of which disappeared in shadow halfway to the ground like the flowers had gone.

Tao sighed. "Anyways, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he spat at the closet, Jeremy making an annoyed growl in retaliation, "I need help with my outfit."

Tao gestured to the pile of clothes strewn on his bed, adding more at the same time. “Look around there. See if you can pick a nice outfit.”

Jongdae awkwardly shuffled Tao’s bed, picking through the clothes. Everything was either sparkly or leather or shiny or metallic or extremely form fitting. There didn’t seem to be anything that would be comfortable or not blinding. One glance at the rest of Tao’s closet and Jongdae knew that the rest were just as, if not more, well, bedazzled.

"How about this um. Raincoat?"

Jeremy growled in appreciation and Tao shot a look to the general vicinity of the closet.

“You know Jeremy, for someone who lives in a closet as fashion forward as mine, you sure have a terrible taste in clothing.”

~~~~~~~

“Okay so where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. I'm up for anything, really."

“Well there’s that nice ice cream shop down the street?”

“ANYTHING BUT THAT.”

“Uh”

“NO NO NO A MILLION TIMES NO THAT PLACE IS EXPENSIVE AS AND SCAMMED ME OF MY MONEY I’M NEVER GOING THERE AGAIN”

“But, I’m paying?”

“STILL NO. LETS GO SOMEWHERE ELSE."

"Where?"

"HOW ABOUT THE AMUSEMENT PARK?"

"Tao, are you alright?"

"I WILL BE ONCE WE GET THERE!"

~~~~~~~

"Tao- would you mind telling me why we had to bus for two hours to get to some random amusement park?"

"Oh, silly Jongdae, I'm only 16. I can't drive."

"Okay, that part I get. What I don't get is wHY WE HAD TO BUS TO THIS AMUSEMENT PARK FOR TWO HOURS WHEN THERE WAS ONE CLOSER TO US."

"Well, put simply, that amusement park wasn't hiring."

"I'm sorry?"

"I am a poor, unemployed high school student, Jongdae. I need money, and I need someone to drag with me so I'm not lonely."

"Tao!" Jongdae whined, Tao grabbing him by the arm and dragging him along anyways.

~~~~~~~

"Okay, but like, my name isn't Chen."

"Sorry kid," the man said, handing him the badge anyways. "It's all we have left."

"Come on, it'll be fine. You'll be all cool and Chinese and stuff."

"I hate you."

~~~~~~~

And so, Jongdae, or Chen, was stuck helping confused Chinese tourists around the park and had to tackle unruly people with arrows who want to stab others and think he's Chinese and the struggle is just too real.

A/N

Let it be known that this chapter could've been named 'Raincoats For Dayzzz' but wasn't for some odd reason

Also sorry it's a few hours later than usual

And spongebob

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST LOVE EACH OTHER AND STOP SMEARING ANIMAL ENTRAILS EVERYWHERE JESUS CHRIST TIDY UP AFTER DISSECTION WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST ACT CIVIL FOR ONCE

-texturedjeans