“Explain.”

Luhan looked up from where he was sitting on one of the beds - having claimed it by jumping on it the moment they walked into the hotel room and slapping whoever tried to sit on it with one of his used socks that smelled like it crawled into a rat’s , got out, eaten and vomited back out- and scoffed. “Explain what? Explain how I dragged my downstairs to get you idiots breakfast because you were all still dreaming about each other’s ? Because I dragged my downstairs to get you idiots breakfast while y’all were still dreaming about each other’s and I don’t hear a thank you.”

“No. But what’s this? It tastes like ,” Yifan said, pushing a cup of white viscous liquid under Luhan’s nose insistently.

“Ew.”

“No seriously Luhan, drink it, it tastes terrible” Sehun said, nodding from his sprawled out position on the other bed and holding his own cup of thin-ish vanilla yogurt seeming thing.

Luhan wrinkled his nose in distaste. “It looks like .”

“I’m surprised you know what that looks like.”

“I don’t.”

Sehun raised an eyebrow from where he was attacking the food from across the room. “You’re a ? Have you never jacked off before or something?”

“Can you not?”

“Can I please?”

“No.”

“Too late.”

“Oh god just don’t-”

“Aaaand facebooked, twittered, instagramed, and now google plused. By the time we get back everyone should know.”

“Oh my godddd” Luhan moaned, burying his face in his arms. “You guys kkk.”

Sehun raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with you today? Normally you’d have shoved twenty arrows up his by now why are you so calm?”

“Twenty eight arrows actually, one per worrrr-” Luhan was abruptly cut off by his stomach gurgling angrily as he fell to the side in pain.

The room immediately erupted into chaos.

“SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE”

“ THE AMBULANCE, WE NEED TO KICK HIM WHILE HE’S DOWN”

“KYUNGSOO PASS ME AN ARROW I NEED VENGENCE”

“HOLY WHAT HAPPENED”

“I’M SORRY I CALLED YOU A I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D REACT THIS WAY”

“ARE YOU PREGNANT?”

“I KNEW IT. HE’S A GIRL. MY SISTER DOES THIS ALL THE TIME SHE CALLS THEM COMMAS OR CRAMPS OR SOMETHING”

“MOVE ASIDE I NEED TO TAKE THIS CHANCE TO DRAW ON HIS FACE”

“I’M STILL HUNGRY”

“I AGREE WITH MINSEOK, I’M HUNGRY TOO”

“SAME HERE”

“DITTO”

“THERE’S FOOD DOWNSTAIRS”

“WHAT ABOUT LUHAN”

“IS HE BLEEDING?”

“NO?”

“THEN HE’LL BE FINE. COME ON, I THINK I CAN HEAR THE BACON AND EGGS CALLING MY NAME”


"I THINK YOU MEAN BAEK-ON"


"NO, I REALLY DON'T"

"OH SHUT UP, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE PUNS WITH YOUR LAME NAME"

Luhan moaned again from his spot on the bed. “Guysss don’t leave me heree”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“GUYS COME LOOK!”

Kyungsoo walked up to Chanyeol, standing on his toes to smack the giant upside the head with a ridiculous amount of effort, hissing at him to use his “indoor voice”. Chanyeol pouted.

“OKAY BUT LOOK AT THIS EVERYONE THE WAS ACTUALLY LIQUID WAFFLE!”

Everyone within a ten foot radius turned their heads in confusion and slight horror as they watched the group of 9 unfairly tall asian guys crowd around the waffle maker machine in fascination.

“OH MY GOD”

“THE IS ACTUALLY-”

“RAW LIQUID WAFFLE”

“LUHAN THAT ER”

“I BET HE DRANK IT AND REALIZED IT WAS LIQUID WAFFLE AND PURPOSELY GAVE IT TO US”

“SOMEONE HOLD ME BACK I’M GOING TO STRANGLE THAT BOY”

“THEN SOMEONE’S GONNA HAVE TO HOLD ME BACK TOO BECAUSE I’M COMING WITH YOU”

“I’LL HELP”

And that was how Luhan ended up sleeping in the bathtub with scarily detailed drawn on his face in permanent marker tied up and buried within everyone else’s used wet towels and dirty laundry regretting his entire existence amen to that i can relate so hard amiright whos with me

  I'd just like to point out that the hotel I went to actually had raw liquid waffle and my mom thought it was yoghurt and fed the ungodly concoction to my dad and I and it was the worst if any of you ever find something like that do not hesitate to pour it down the closest person's pants

-texturedjeans