It was impossible, as Junmyeon realized, to drive in silence with the idiots he was stuck with.

Within the first 5 minutes, Baekhyun was already singing at the top of his lungs, regardless of what song was playing. Unfortunately for everyone, Baekhyun didn’t know most of the songs, choosing instead to ad-lib most of it.

“SOMETHING SOMETHING STARBUCKS LOVERSSSS”

“Did you just say Starbucks lovers?”

“SOMETHING YOU’RE INSANE SOMETHING BLANK SPACEEEEEEEE BABYY”

The next 10 minutes found Luhan and Sehun fighting over who got to use the neck pillow.

“I’m older, I should get it by default.”

“That’s not fair. I got it first.”

 

“, I was born first.”

“Technically Minseok was born first.”

“Last time I checked, Minseok isn’t the one who’s hogging the ing neck pillow.”

“I CLAIMED IT! I PISSED ON THIS GODDAMN PILLOW OKAY? NOW CAN I PLEASE SLEEP?”

“I DON’T GIVE TWO S IF YOU PISSED ON IT, HAND IT OVER.”

And once the pillow fiasco was done and dealt with, another problem arose.

“I need to take a piss."

“Luhan, we’re on the highway. There’s no toilet close to us. Can you just hold it in until we can get to a rest stop?” Kyungsoo asked as Junmyeon pulled over. “Wait why are you stopping?”

“I don’t trust Luhan and his bladder.”

“What happened?”

“He pissed himself in my car.”

“Okay, in my defense, I was like really drunk and my bladder was too full to wait till we got home. Otherwise, I have a bladder of steel. Think about all the times I didn’t piss in your car.”

“How many times is that?”

“Once… But to be fair, this is only my third time in his car.”

“Yeah…” Junmyeon said thoughtfully, “WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIRD TIME? THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND TIME I'VE LET YOU IN THE CAR!”

“Shhhh don’t worryyyyyyy.”

“Oh my god, can you just get out and pee in the bushes?”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean I’ll prove to you that I have a bladder of steel. Plus, what do I look like to you? A savage? I’m not pissing in the bushes.”

“Luhan, just go before you-”

“If you don’t start the car now, I’ll piss on the seat.”

“Luhan!” Junmyeon whined.

“The quicker we start moving, the quicker I’ll have access to a toilet, and the cleaner your car will be.”

“But I-”

“Time’s a tickin’.”

It wasn’t exactly Junmyeon’s finest hour.