So after all the failures, (because Tao’s a hot ing mess) Yifan’s brain just kinda fizzed out so he was like it and walked directly up to Jongdae with Tao in tow to settle this once and for all.

“Jongdae.”

“Huh?”

Jongdae looked up from the book he was reading on a sunny park bench - that wasn’t so sunny anymore since Yifan’s gigantic ing shadow was looming over it - and looked up embarrassingly high to meet the scary gaze of one incredibly hot, tall guy with really smudged black eyeshadow and an even taller guy that Jongdae couldn’t see because Jongdae is very midget.

Yifan shoved Tao in front of him. “This little ing idiot is Huang Zitao. He’s poppin’ a for you but you can’t see it because it’s miniscule, and you’re gonna love him.”

“I-I’m sorry?”

Tao facepalmed and grabbed Yifan by the earlobe, hissing something full of colourful curse words and death threats that made Jongdae kinda want to piss himself in fear and insecurity because smudged eyeshadow guy is really really hot.

“Uh, I think I’ll be going now,” Jongdae mumbled quietly, shutting his book closed and rising out of his seat.

“NO” Yifan shouted, shoving Jongdae back down violently and practically throwing Tao into Jongdae's lap so Jongdae got a thigh full of muscled and bones (but it’s okay because this Huang Zitao person was hot and had a cute ).

Jongdae and Tao both blushed profusely and Yifan awww-ed at this, pinching both their cheeks.

“Aren’t you two just ing adorable I could just sew your clothes together like this so you’ll never separate. Who needs arrows anyways when you have true love? Speaking of which it’s about time to shoot you now…” Yifan said, trailing off towards the end as he started groping his own back, smacking between his shoulder blades with his unproportionate hands.

Tao was now in permanent facepalm mode, his hand seemingly stuck to his forehead as he shook his head back and forth slowly muttering in chinese. Even like this, he looked pretty ing flawless and Jongdae was just about drooling from both sides of his mouth and his nose was about to start gushing blood soon.

“ I think I forgot my arrows.”

“Yifan you stupid son of a .”

“Shut up Tao at least I’ve gotten you further without the arrows than I did with the arrows since you’re too incompetent to properly stand it seems.”

“Do yoU WANT TO ING FFIGGHT” Tao shouted. He abruptly stood up from Jongdae's lap (much to Jongdae's displeasure) and kneed Yifan in the balls just as the latter’s phone rang, showing the contact name Y LU-HONEY THUNDER THIGHS <3 <3 <3 on the screen.

Tao was weirded out to say the least.

“Hello?” Yifan answered, voice two octaves higher than normal because Tao's knee + Yifan's ballsack = Yifan’s eventual demise (and loss of ability to make children).

“KRISSYYYYYYYY”

Yifan unwittingly smiled. He could recognize that voice anywhere. He glanced back at the couple, now making out on the park bench, and decided it was best to leave them alone. He shoved his free hand in his pocket, trying to suppress a smile.

“Luhann”

“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR VOICE ARE YOU IN REVERSE PUBERTY MODE AM I TALLER THAN YOU NOW CAN I SEE THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD WILL I BE ABLE TO PAT YOU AND LOOK DOWN TO SEE YOU?"

"Good to know you're still an idiot."

"Rude."

"So what's up? I haven't heard from you since-"

"My vaccinations, I know. I think they're starting to wear off." the line was silent for a few moments. "I wanna see you again."

Yifan's eyes widened as he felt his heart palpitate. "R-Really?"

"Yeah. Are you free anytime soon?"

Yifan's gaze travelled back to the park bench, where the two boys were about to engage in some scary .

"Yeah, I guess so. When can I come over?"