Kai —

It’s been two months since Ariel left.

You’re all probably wondering, am I well?

My feelings for Ariel happened as our fake relationship progressed. I didn’t want to have feelings for her but it happened anyway. 

Let’s clarify something. 

Yes, I have feelings for this stubborn, utterly beautiful, and humble girl. Her name is Choi Ariel. She pulled me in like a magnet. She was like a siren in my life, she attracted me in different ways that I can’t even explain it myself. 

Obviously, my feelings weren’t reciprocated in return. I tried to make something happened between us but we aren’t meant to be. 

That doesn’t mean my feelings for instantly vanished. They’re still there. I’m not sure for how long, but my feelings for her are still present. 

You’re also wondering, then why did you let her go?

I had to. Like I said earlier, she wasn’t meant to be mine. We’re not meant to be lovers. Friends most likely, but not lovers. 

Ariel was meant to be with Chanyeol the second I realized he still had feelings for the girl. That was why my feelings weren’t returned. 

So I gave up on her. 

I still like her but we’re not meant to be. 

Speaking of Chanyeol, you’re all thinking about one particular question. 

How is he?

Well, he’s okay on the outside.

But on the inside, I know he’s dying without her. 

Chanyeol misses her like crazy. Sometimes I hear faint cries in our shared bedroom together. When I do ask him if he’s okay, he brushes it off like it’s nothing. In reality, Ariel was everything to him. He knew about the troubles she had in life and he wanted to be there for her. 

Chanyeol tries to distract himself from thinking of Ariel. He won’t go to Celestial Cafe anymore. He stopped drinking fruit flavored drinks and mango smoothies. Hell, he won’t even go on Youtube anymore. It hurts him that much. When we don’t have a schedule, he’s always in our room with his guitar. He doesn’t even talk to us about Ariel. He's hurting but acts like he's not.

That’s how he’s doing.

Another question that’s most likely on your mind, how am I without her?