Three Hours Earlier

“After you left the country and send you here in England, Yoochun was difficult to handle. Locked himself inside his room without eating until he became weak. T.O.P. abandoned us after he knew what I did but the worst thing was… I discovered something.”

Yoochun’s father turned around with some tears on his eyes like he was holding on it not to shed but it does. Something wasn’t right as I listened from his voice. He was looking at me and I think he was thinking if it was good to tell me and honestly, I was so curious and eager to know what his father had discovered.

“What is it? Is it something bad?” I asked.

“It’s not just bad, it is worst.”

My heart thumped very hard when Yoochun’s father eyes looked so sad and worried. I know it is all about Yoochun but what’s something worst about him and he was so good when he visited me.

“It sadden me when I know about his condition.” He paused for a while and continued for the worst thing. “Yoochun… has acute myeloid leukemia.”

When I heard the disease, it shocked me. I questioned myself why and how come but I don’t have the answers. He was healthy, strong and I haven’t seen any signs of the diseases, not any bruises appeared.

With fear, I asked the old man. “Does the disease metastasize?”

The old man sat down on his chair and said, “Yes.”

If it metastasize then it would be difficult to treat it. I wondered if he knew his disease long before we met or maybe, he just recently knew. I was emotionally down when I heard it and knowing it pierces my heart. I felt pain in my chest and regrets that he ended up with an incurable disease. I was lost in despair that I can no longer hear any sounds except my own mind and voice until the old man snapped me out.

“Kioko!” he shouted. I came back to the reality and the old man said, “Are you alright?”

I cried and said, “No, I am not alright.”

“This is the reason why I wanted to see you. Please convince my son to have treatment. I’ll pay how much it cost.” He said.

“How can I convince him if I didn’t know where he is right now.”

“He’s going back here in England to finish the deal and I’ll manage the rest of it.” The old man said.

Yoochun is going back but how can I convince him when he’s still angry at me and he doubted my baby if it is his or not. This was so difficult to handle, mentally and emotionally. I don’t know how but I’ll try…

T.O.P. was surprised and I know he can’t accept the things he heard from me. It was too sudden and no one knows about Yoochun’s condition. T.O.P. went out from my place and mother hugged me as warm as she could. I cried since that day and thought about how am I going to talk with him.

The next day, the old man sent me a message that Yoochun departed from New York so I changed and asked my mother to come with me at the airport. We headed out early to avoid heavy traffic until we got there an hour before his arrival. We sat down on the bench at the waiting area and mother asked me if I need anything but I was too busy thinking of what to say. I made phrases, sentences until I found myself crazy. My head was full of thoughts about his condition. I don’t know how to help him.

An hour has passed; the arrival board has finally indicated the flight from New York as arrived. My mother stood up with excitement and looking at the door just across. We can’t go there as the airport’s policy so I just waited on the bench hoping we can see him exiting that door. I saw some passengers coming out just a few minutes.

“Kioko, he’s here. I see him.” Mother screamed and she went ahead without me.

I let my mother go as I was struggling to stand up. My tummy was heavy and it really took time to stand just to assure my balance. I followed the way where my mother went and I saw her talking to Yoochun. However, I saw his reaction was a bit off or upset. My mother pointed at me and he looked but he suddenly turned his face away and started to walk, heading to his car where there were two men in suit standing outside the limousine. Mother tried to persuade him but she failed as he got inside the limousine and the car started to run. But, I really don’t want him to go away this time as he really needs help so I started to take one step and I ran heading to the center of the street. The limousine suddenly stopped causing a commotion. I was scared that I get hit. The man in the front seat went out and asked me if I was okay. Then, Yoochun came out and headed to me but he shouted at me.

“What the hell are you doing?”

I grasp some air, as I was so scared to get hit and said. “I came here to talk with you.”

“We’re done talking, Kioko. There’s nothing to discuss and we’re through!” he exclaimed and turned his back on me as he walked back to his car.

But before he gets inside, I suddenly spoke while his men were trying to get me off from the road. “I’m here because you’re sick.” I cried.

He suddenly stopped from getting into his car as I can see his eyes were surprised. My mother came and held me as I began crying that I can’t help it. He looked at me and his eyes were fierce like telling me to get lost but I tried not to get lose from his dangerous eyes. He went back to me and said.

“Get inside the car. We’re making a scene,” he whispered in my ear with anger. Two men came and they let us in in the car.

While on the road, Yoochun didn’t say a thing and I don’t know how to start it but mother started to ask him. “How are you, Yoochun?”

“I am fine, mother.” Yoochun answered.

“Are you really fine, dear?” mother asked him again. Yoochun knew what my mother meant but he shut his mouth.

Whether he got angry at me, I need to say it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He looked at me angrily and I was kind of stunned but I kept my composure. “How did you know? Did father tell you?”

“Yes. He sent me to his place yesterday to tell me about your condition. I was surprised and…”

“Surprise?! Come on Kioko. There’s nothing to be surprise. We all die.” He said.

“But why?” I asked.

“I don’t want other people to pity me. I continue living like there’s nothing.” He answered. “And, I got over with the day you left me. If you didn’t leave then I wouldn’t hate my life right now.”

I cried and mother held my hand she smiled at me. “I know… but I don’t have a choice.”

“You do have a choice and that is not leaving me. But you still do what you want.” He interjected.

Still, mother was smiling at me like she wasn’t nervous about this. As if she’s telling me to say what’s in my heart. Yeah, maybe he would understand if I would tell him what I came here.

“I know you’re mad, alone, and disappointed but I had to save those people who were important to me from a threat of your father.”

“You know that I will fight that but still you let yourself down.” He said.

“That is why! If I chose to fight then what are we fighting for when my friends’ family were destroyed. I’d rather leave than fighting a battle knowing there was no prize to fight for.”

I expressed myself with all the regrets, depressions, and frustrations that I had for how many months. No one can understand that but me. Yoochun’s expression changed when I looked at his eyes that were about to shed tears. His hands were trembling as he was afraid what will happen to him.

“But today Yoochun, we’re facing a true battle and there’s a prize for us to fight… and that is your life.” I said.

He looked at me and he was clenching his lips as he was holding those tears from his eyes. I reached out my hand to him and I felt his hand was cold like an ice.

“In this battle Yoochun, we are here for you, helping you to fight.” I said while I held my hand on my tummy and I felt a kick. “He kicked. It means his here for you.”

Yoochun began to cry as he reached out his hand on my tummy and said. “I’m sorry baby, I don’t like to be in this condition so I push you and your mother away.” He began to lie down on my chest as he cried so much.

He was so afraid about his condition, thinking if he will die. I encouraged him to get treatment and he agreed. Even though we had pain in our hearts but at this time, we need to be with each other to face what was needed to face. This was the first time that I saw Yoochun was fragile… like a glass, when you drop it, it smashed into pieces.