The next day, I was discharged from the hospital and everything’s okay. I am feeling fine and got my energy back but… I wasn’t get over why Yoochun did that. My mother and I came back to my apartment however, I felt sad every time I recalled what happened to our conversation between Yoochun and I. Mother cooked some meals for me and while waiting I called T.O.P. through my phone. He didn’t come back since the day he left from the hospital and no calls or even a message. I was worried on what happened to him right now. T.O.P. didn’t answer my call so I sent a message. I was happy when the doctor told me that my baby is perfectly fine. Mother came and she served me some food while I watched a drama series. She joined me and started to sniff… well, she was about to cry but kept on holding it. I always laughed every time I saw my mother in that kind of state.

The doorbell rang once and mother opened the door. T.O.P. came in with a paper bag on his left arm. “I bought fresh fruits.” He said giving me a gentle smile. Mother helped him put the fruits inside the fridge then they joined me when they were done. T.O.P. gave me an apple and bite it without any doubt. While we were watching, mother cracked the concentration.

“T.O.P., where have you been after you left the hospital.” She asked.

T.O.P. didn’t answer her for a few seconds ‘coz he looked at me first asking me if it’s okay to tell but … “I went to my brother’s place.” He finally answered.

“Oh! He’s already here.” Then mother looked at me. “Are you ready to face him Kioko?”

Well, I already had met him three days passed and it didn’t go well. I was thinking if I were going to tell mother that Yoochun was the reason why I left myself unconscious, I am sure that she would yell at me and also got mad. But, is it okay to tell her?

“That plan has changed mother. I will no longer face him.” I lied.

“But, it will be okay if he knew why we left, right?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, mother. All we have to do is to move forward with our lives.” I answered.

“Well, those things are in the past so you’re right.”

Then, my phone alerted for new messages and I opened it. The message was from T.O.P. and he was looking at me trying to be sure that I read his message.

            My brother paid the hospital bill and he said he’s a cutting tie with you.

I don’t know what to respond but an ironic smile came out from me. T.O.P. was a little bit surprised why I smiled and I pretended that it’s okay. But deep inside me, I was in pain, I felt that Yoochun really despised me. It’s really the time to forget what has happened before so that we can continue and move on with our lives.

Morning came; I woke up with a warm delicious meal cooked by T.O.P. I didn’t know that he stayed here ‘coz I went to sleep early. Mother gave me hot milk and she joined me for breakfast. We were happy, like we are family. T.O.P. has become our family since he always came here to help us like cooking and taking good care of me. Though, he left on the afternoon for their project. I felt light every time I woke up with those happy smiles around me.

“Mother, are you going to out?” I asked.

“Yes. I need to sell our new recipe meal for today.”

“New? You mean, you help her T.O.P.?” I teasingly asked.

“Yeah. Mother asked me if I knew some new recipe.” He answered.

“You’re spoiling her.” I teased.

“No, he’s not. He’s helping, right?” she answered.

I laughed when I saw mother was uneasy about T.O.P. helping her because she never asked T.O.P. for help and this time, she did it for her little past time. Mother took off after she was done with her breakfast. T.O.P. accompanied me to the sofa and left me watching Cartoon Network while he washed the dishes. After a few minutes, T.O.P. joined me and gave me an apple.

“Kioko, I have something to ask.” T.O.P. said.

“What is it?”

“What are you going to do after you give birth to your baby?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, take care of him or go back to work. I need to earn money for our needs, especially to my baby.” I answered.

“What if I will no longer here or gone?”

I felt uneasiness after he asked me that question. It tells me that he will go back to the Philippines or left me here. If I asked him to stay with me then I’ll call myself selfish. I became dependent because T.O.P. was there all the time.

“Are you going back?”

“No, it’s just What If, Kioko.” T.O.P. said.

“Then, I need to accept it and become independent.”

T.O.P. cracked a laugh when I gave him my answer. “Let’s go out?” he invited and I nodded.

It’s been a while that I got out from my apartment and this time, T.O.P. is spoiling me. He bought me my favorite ice cream flavored, Tiramisu, from Gelatissimo. We both had two scoops of it and I felt my baby kicked in my tummy telling me that he like it too. Every time he responded to what I watched, eat, and drink made me so happy that my baby was happy too. I’ve been counting the months till I can see my baby’s face. As we walked inside the park, T.O.P. bought cotton candy for himself.

“You really like cotton candy?” I asked.

“Yes. My mother always bought me while we had a chance to spent together at the park.” T.O.P. answered.

It’s obvious that T.O.P. was happy eating the cotton candy that he bought like he was on his childhood days. He also bought popcorns, hotdog buns, and water. We sat on the bench while we ate all those food that he bought. I’m not into salty stuff I skipped the popcorns. As we were done, he asked me if it would be okay to go to a café to buy a piece of cake and I said yes. We went and he ordered a piece of blueberry cheesecake for take-out.

“Is there a place you wanted to go, Kioko?” he asked as soon as we got out from the café. I shook my head and he asked, “Let’s go home?” and I nodded.

Thirty minutes of walking from the park to my apartment, I sat down on the bench near the apartment building just to catch up my breath. I really got tired so fast and at least, I exercise my breathing. As I was good to walk again and entered the building, I saw a man in a black suit heading out. It was a new face and I’m sure he’s not one of the tenants here. We headed up to my apartment and upon the lobby; I saw a baby crib with a ribbon tied on it. I didn’t expect that it be in front of my apartment’s door until I got closer. It was confused who sent this baby crib. I looked at T.O.P. and asked.

“Do you know who send this?”

“I have no idea.” T.O.P. answered… clueless.

I looked for a card if there was any but unfortunately, there was none. T.O.P. opened the door and he took the crib inside.

“So, what are you going to do with this?” T.O.P. curiously asked.

“I wanted to return it but there is no card from who send this.”

The crib was beautiful and it painted with blue and light blue color. There’s a toy and sound as well. When I checked on the crib, I suddenly remembered the man in a suit who headed out from this building. But, I don’t know that guy and if he was the one who send it here, maybe he’s working to an elite person until I…

“Oh my gosh!”

“Why? Is there something that surprises you? T.O.P. asked me.

I looked at him and said. “I know who send this.”

“Who?”

“Your brother.” I answered.

T.O.P. was surprised when I mentioned his brother. He looked at the crib and asked. “How can you be so sure that this was from him?”

“I saw a man in a suit heading out from this building. If he’s in a suit then maybe he is working with a rich family.” I answered.

“But my brother is mad at you. He doesn’t want to see you and accept your baby.” T.O.P. said.

It slapped me when T.O.P. state the fact at me. Yes, Yoochun was mad but did he consider that my baby is his.

“Kioko, my brother is at New York right now and he don’t have time looking for a baby crib.” T.O.P. said.

“But, I feel it that it was from him. What if he knew or accepts my baby? What if he wanted to be a father to his baby?” I said but.

“That’s all WHAT IFS!” T.O.P. shouted at me. “Are you blind? He doesn’t want you or your baby. He doesn’t care. Maybe this crib was a gift from one of your rich friend.”

I thought of it, I don’t have a rich friend. So, I’m positive that this baby crib came from Yoochun. Even though he doesn’t want to see me or forgive me, at least he wanted to be a father of his own baby. I really don’t understand too why T.O.P. got mad like this. It’s like he doesn’t want me to have hope…

“Right, you’re mad because you don’t want me hoping again.” I said and went to room leaving T.O.P. alone in the sofa. I just heard a slam on the door and I knew that he went out, angry at me.