From what T.O.P. said, I was surprised when he accepted the plan that I told him and I wondered why he agreed to that. And besides, I already changed my plan and that would be to raise my child alone. It brought me to senses that I was only using T.O.P. and I totally forgot about it. But, T.O.P. wanted to do it as a father of my child.

“No. I don’t want that anymore.” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

“With that plan, I am only using you. I only thought of an escape but I finally realized that there was no escape on this. I can live and raise my child alone… without a husband or a father.” I explained.

T.O.P. was serious about the issue of being a father of my child and I can see that he wanted to. But, I already changed my mind that I alone would raise my baby. As I was about to walkout, T.O.P. grabbed my arm.

“Even you are decided, I am willing to accept the father’s role.” He said.

“Tell me, T.O.P. why do you want to be the father of my child?” I curiously asked.

He paused and looked at me differently like there was something he wanted to say to me. I don’t know what would be his reason and whatever reason he has, it’s up to him if he like to.

“It’s difficult to raise a child alone and every child wanted a father to lean on.” He finally answered after having those disturbed eyes.

“I don’t want to accept that and I won’t lie to my child regarding about Yoochun.” I pointed out.

“Then let me fill in my brother’s part.” He said.

“As an uncle.”

“No… as his father in Yoochun’s behalf.” He clarified.

T.O.P. was so persistent regarding this father role and to think of, my child would know. It would also depend on how my child will accept the truth. How many times I said no, T.O.P.’s mind was already settled.

“Okay. If that’s what you want then be it.” I said. “However, I didn’t force you to do this.”

T.O.P. smiled and seemed happy about my approval that he would act as my child’s father. Still, I will tell the truth to my child.

I went to my unit and mother was waiting for me at the sofa. She took some of the stuffs that I bought without any questions. However, she told me if I came up to a decision about telling Yoochun regarding the baby. When I gave her a NO, my mother asked me.

“When will you tell him? When the baby is a teenager?”

“I already decided that I won’t tell him but I will tell my child about Yoochun.” I answered.

“Don’t you think that it’s unfair to Yoochun?” she asked.

“Yes, I know… but we already have separate lives now mother. We are over and we moved on.” I responded.

My mother looked at me closely and she gave up. She walked to her room and I sat on the sofa after having a misunderstanding with her. I know my mother would like me to tell Yoochun because he has right but will he believe or listen to me if I would call?  It’s definitely that he would ignore my call or won’t pick it up so what’s the use. I was tired and went to my room then hit on my bed.

The bright rays of the sun woke me up and still it was cold. I went out to my room and saw different kind of food was prepared on the table. My mother came out and she greeted me. I hugged her and said sorry then she smiled at me saying it was okay and she understands. I heard a clang inside the kitchen room and my mother laughed. She went inside and I followed her then I was surprised when I saw T.O.P. was cooking.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Cooking!” T.O.P. answered.

“Oh dear, he insisted on helping me cook for breakfast and I didn’t know that he is good.” Mother praised him.

“Well, mom. I’m not good like you. I slipped the pan!” he said.

Though we agreed that he would do whatever he like and yes he started it as being our cook. I smiled when mother and T.O.P. got along like they were mother and son tandem. T.O.P. looked at me and smiled and I was caught in time that I smiled and was looking at them. And it made me thought why I didn’t fall in love with this man after I dumped him; he was still beside me at all odds. But my heart beats for only one man that I left behind. After T.O.P. cooked our breakfast, we ate together and chatted so happily like we there was no problem at all. When we were done, mother took the task of washing the dishes and T.O.P. talked to me.

“Are you going to work?” he asked.

“Yes. I need to save for my baby.” I answered.

I went back to my room, showered, and got dressed for work then headed out. As I was about to go out from the apartment, T.O.P. took my bag and he carried it.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Carrying it.”

“Come on, give me that.” I said.

“No. I won’t let you carry your bag even how light it is.” He explained then opened the door for me.

T.O.P. was persistent so I let him be and he walked with me to the train station, took the train, and walked with me until we arrived at the hospital. When we arrived, he gave me my bag and he held my shoulders with his both hands.

“You take care, mommy.” He said and gave me a peck on my cheeks.

I was surprised that T.O.P. did that to me and he smiled at me, waving his hands while he went on to his agenda. One of my closest workmate saw me and teased me. I went inside the hospital heading to the laboratory and started working for eight hours. The moment that T.O.P. kissed me on my cheeks made me fantasized that Yoochun would also do that to me… if he knew.

The whole eight hours of work tired me off and as I went out from work, I saw T.O.P. was sitting at the lobby, waiting for me. As he saw me, he walked towards me and he kissed me on my cheeks again. I told him to stop doing that but he didn’t listen and he gave me an energy drink that he took out from the brown paperbag.

“You don’t have to do this T.O.P.” I honestly said. “It’s bothersome.”

“I want you to be healthy as you are working here in the hospital. And, I bought some milk for you after I dealt with the business.” He said.

He really bought two bottles of milk for me and he knew that I really need it. Well, he was a doctor so he really knew what’s best for me. T.O.P. took my bag and he carried it while I drank the energy drink and went out from the hospital. We walked a few meters to the train station then took the train as soon as we got there.

“Did you quit your profession?” I curiously asked.

“Yes. When Yoochun asked me to handle the project here in England.” He answered.

“Why did you accept it?”

“Because I knew that you are here.” He responded.

T.O.P. was kind and he really cares for me but I wondered why he wanted to be the father of my child. It puzzled my mind and it left me hanging because I can’t pinpoint what was his reason. We took off the train as we arrived to our destination and again we walked to the apartment.

“Kioko, do you have plans in going back to the Philippines?” he suddenly asked me.

I paused for a moment and answered. “I have but maybe after my baby reaches 1-year-old.”

T.O.P. got silent and I didn’t say a word after I answered him. It was out of the blue question that I didn’t think of it yet. It was just a month had passed and I got pregnant so going back was not my option as of now. We arrived at my apartment and I sat down on the sofa while T.O.P. headed to the kitchen area and put all the stuffs he bought inside the refrigerator. I the TV and watch a movie then T.O.P. gave me a bottle of milk and a plate of mixed fruits.

“You don’t have to do this. I can still get these stuffs on my own.” I said.

“I don’t care if you don’t want me to serve you but I don’t want you to get hassle.” He told.

He sat down on the other side of the couch and waited for me to drink the milk and ate the fruits. He joined me watching the movie until mother came after an hour and it was exactly the movie ended.

“I’m sorry I was late honey. I bought some stuffs for you at the convenient store.” Mother said and headed to the kitchen.

“Mother, you’re like T.O.P. He bought me some milk and fruits for me.”

Mother laughed when she opened the refrigerator. She put aside the bottles of milk and fruits that she bought and joined us.

“Look at him, he’s tired and sleeping while you two watch a movie.” She said.

“He really did an effort just to take care of me on my pregnancy period. He also sent and fetched me at the hospital after his tiring appointment.” I shared.

“T.O.P. is a good man and a good husband. But, is he sure about being a father to your child?” she asked.

“I thought of that mother. He has his reason and I wonder why he did this to me.”

“But if you decided to live your new life then I will support you.”

I tapped T.O.P.’s shoulder to wake him up and it seems he was deep asleep. Mother took a big pillow and a blanket for him then he suddenly woke up.

“Oh! I’m sorry that I slept.” He apologized. “Mom, you’re here. I think I need to go now.”

Mother smiled at him carrying the pillow and blanket.

“I’m sorry to bother you with that, mom.”

“It’s alright.”

“You, you get to your room now and sleep early.” He said referring to me.

I laughed at him and stood up headed to my room. And before I closed my room’s door, I said. “Thank you.” then I went to bed and slept.