It was a wonderful night because I slept with Yoochun and I found myself on flesh under the blanket hugging my love so tightly. The sun rose up and I got dressed and prepared for breakfast while Yoochun was still asleep. I went to the cafeteria of the resort and bought some sunny-side-up eggs, corned beef, bread, and rice for breakfast. I went back and found Yoochun awake, smiling at me, as I came closer he kissed me.

“Good morning, my love.” He greeted.

“Good morning. I bought food for breakfast.” I placed the food on the table and he grabbed me into his arms.

“Can I have a morning mellow dance with my girl?” he asked while locking me in his arms.

I smiled and nodded then we took our first step on our morning mellow-dance, as what he called it. I leant my head on his shoulders while we were dancing. The sky was blue and beautiful as I looked at the sea while dancing and my thoughts were registering every moment that we had. Yoochun touched my head and traced his fingertips to the end of hair. The gentleness that he has was the warmest and loved by me. Suddenly, my tummy roars from hunger and he stopped, chuckling.

“Let’s have breakfast.” He chuckled.

I was embarrassed while we took our breakfast. He asked me what I would like to do after having breakfast and I only answered him that I like to roam around the island or island hopping. But, I like to roam around the island and bought some stuff. We finished the food and went swimming in the sea before we hit the road.

Along the road, I didn’t know that he would questioned me what shall I do after having a vacation here in the island and obviously; I need to follow the deal that his father gave. Even though I wanted to tell him about it ‘coz my conscience kept on attacking me but I just thought that it was for the best, for me, him, and my friends.

“Uhm… I think I’m going to apply for a new job when we get there in the city.” I lied.

“Same here. I already made a resume and will apply for a position related to my profession.” He told.

“So, you’re going to apply for a managerial position?” I asked.

“Well, if there’s any.”

“Everyone will be glad to have you in their business.”

He smiled and he was confident that he could get a job right away without knowing that he would be back to their family’s business when I finally went overseas. Enduring the pain was so difficult but I can if this settled for good.

We arrived somewhere were there were plenty of seafoods that were being sold and we bought some fresh of it for dinner. We had our lunch in a cafeteria and ate a lot of different kind of dishes of poultry. After, we decided to go back to the resort were staying and had a conversation about what were going to do after a year or two which was totally impossible to predict because I may no longer part of him on those years he stated. While we were talking, I texted T.O.P. about my plan and he told me that he already knew. I tried to text T.O.P. with gap of couple of minutes not to be obvious that I was busy texting. Yoochun was so happy about yesterday and today then he told me that he hoped that it would be like this for the coming days. I was only nodding and smiling because I don’t know what to reply then he suddenly asked.

“Are you okay?”

I don’t know why he asked me if I was okay so I replied. “Yes.”

“It looks like there’s bothering you or… you’re not interested with our topic.” He said.

“No! I am interested and I’m not bothered.” I responded.

I diverted my attention to him than thinking about the agreement. Yoochun’s face showed that he was in doubt about me so I suggested that we swim. I took off my clothes and ran off to the sea for a swim then he followed me. It was only to rid off the doubt that he had.

Yoochun hit the bed inside the nipa hut when the night came. He was tired from swimming and fun that we had for the whole afternoon then he fell asleep. I packed up my clothes and stuffs while he was asleep then I texted T.O.P. that I’m going to leave on the first ship early in the morning. I lied down beside Yoochun and hugged him then he suddenly hugged me unconsciously. Tears fell down when this would be the last time that I would see him. It really broke my heart to think that I would leave him without any reasons or explanation.

I didn’t sleep the whole night and I got myself ready when the time hits 4am. My stuffs were prepared and I sent a message to my mother that I would be going to the airport and meet me there. My mother replied, “Are you sure that this is what you want?”. Though I know that it’s not what I wanted but it would be for the sake of the people who would be affected if I would continue our relationship. It would be better to go away rather than holding me back, crying, pain, and sufferings around me. T.O.P. texted that he was waiting for me at the Hagnaya Port.

I slowly took my bag and walked out from the door, crying. I ran away and with the help of the guard who was under watch, I managed to get a tricycle and headed to the Sta. Fe port. I took the earliest ship going to Hagnaya Port and I arrived after an hour. T.O.P. was there fetching me and he took my bag inside his car and I went in. T.O.P. drove to the airport for almost four hours.

“T.O.P. you don’t have to do this Kioko. You can still change your mind.” He said.

“No, I won’t. I don’t want anyone to suffer because of me.” I responded.

Suddenly, my phone rang and it was Yoochun, calling. I just stared at my phone, crying, letting the call ended. I called my mother as soon as Yoochun’s call ended. She was already inside the airport, at the lobby, and I went inside together with T.O.P. who was carrying my stuffs. I met my mother and she hugged me.

“There’s no turning back, Kioko.”

“Yes, mother.” I said.

“Okay, let’s go?” she said.

And before we got inside for check-in, T.O.P. talked to me about leaving and Yoochun’s part too.

“My brother will look for you and I’m sure of that.”

“I know… but please, don’t tell him where I am.” I said.

“I don’t know what will happen after this Kioko and I am certain that my brother is his way to the city and start looking.” T.O.P. said.

“Before he will reach to the airport, I’m sure I already left the country.” I said.

T.O.P. gave me a hugged before I went inside and I gave him my phone for him to keep.

“Keep my phone, T.O.P., I know for sure that I’ll come back.” I said.

“After a year?” he asked.

“No, maybe when the situation has already settled.” I answered.

My mother and I went inside for check-in and T.O.P. shouted. “I’ll visit you soon.” I smiled and mouthed “Thank you.” T.O.P. had done good things for me and until now he never changed. We check-in and had our seat numbers then headed to immigration for questioning but the lady said nothing to ask and she let us in. We waited for the boarding time and I thought of those memories that I would leave. I never seen my friends before I leave and I know T.O.P. would tell them about this…or maybe not.

And the most painful of it was leaving Yoochun, my love, without any reasons. I know it was unfair but let this be and someday, I would have my chance of explaining everything. Though it was a difficult situation and Yoochun would despise me when he would know why I left. I hope that T.O.P. would keep my secret even I left Yoochun with too much pain.

Then, the boarding time appeared on screen and my mother stood up. “This is it Kioko, the last chance that you have to back-out.” I answered my mother by standing up and walked towards the line where all the passengers were for boarding. As the lady asked us for our tickets, for the last time I had a doubt to give it but my mind told me so to proceed. I gave our tickets and went through the hallway leading us to the plane. We looked for our seats as soon as we got inside the plane then sat down on the window side with my mother beside me. I looked outside through the window and this would be it, leaving for a cause and start something new from a different place. When the plane started to move and engines got loud, my heart was in too much pain telling me not to leave but it was too late. I just cried so much when the plane started to ran at high-speed then it takeoff.

And on that moment, I realized that I’m causing too much pain for myself, and more pain for Yoochun. I cried so much for almost 30minutes while my mother comforted me at her best.

In relationship, it wasn’t all about joy or how happy the both of you are but sometimes we need to learn to sacrifice one thing just for the good and good for all the people I love.

I hope Yoochun would understand me for leaving him like this, in a bad way.