(HOYA's POV)

I saw Hyorin came and she was looking for me. I waved to her and when she saw me, she smiled. She took a seat in front of me.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late. Music Bank recording took a longer time than I thought”, she grinned.

“It’s okay”, I smiled. “So…let’s just go to the point”, I said.

“Oh? Okay”, Hyorin said.

“So?”, I asked her, I was getting impatient.

“She’s really sincere to you”, Hyorin said with smile.

I just looked at her, wanting her to continue. Seriously, I’m really nervous now.

“Before she left I asked her about how’s her feelings for you that day, how’s her feelings for you after all these times. I knew she often told me about that, but, I just wanted to hear those words for the last time, I just wanted to make sure that to left, was a right decision for her.

So she answered me with the most sincere smile, I can say, I still remembered every word she said back then”, Hyorin said.

I listen carefully and prepare myself for what come next.

‘Until now, my feelings hasn’t change a bit unnie. I still love him. All I want is to see him happy, even if I’m not. But I always feel happy too if he’s happy, like when he dated Eunji unnie, I felt hurted, but then I felt happy because he was. When he broke up, I felt sad too because he was. Now I know, love doesn’t have to own, but what’s important is to see and to make the love ones happy.

I’m changing unnie, because of him. I’m not childish and selfish anymore when it comes to things like this. You know I’m so grateful to be in this position right now, to be his dongsaeng, his friend, the one he can trust. I can get close to him like this, it’s more than enough.

But sometimes, I miss the old times when I was still an ordinary girl. I miss those times when I opened my laptop and watched videos of you, Sistar, Infinite, and oppa. I felt like it was a dream to meet all of you back then. When I watched video of Hoya oppa, I was smiling like an idiot, wondering if someday I could meet him. That time, my feelings were still safe.

Unne, it hurts. It hurts to leave him like this, but I know I have to go. If I stayed here, it will be hurting me more. To see him almost every day….. I just need times alone, to heal, to think what I have to do next, and maybe…..to forget these feelings for him’

I held my breathe when Hyorin repeated what ____ said to her. Why I can’t tell my feelings for her from the beginning?! I know now, it’s because that stupid age difference. I’m so selfish! Now that I lost her, I’m such a loser. A selfish loser.

“You know Hoya, from what she has, her looks, her personality, she can get any other guy she wants but no, she chooses you and it’s always been you. Hoya, I told you, once you lost a girl like her, it’s really hard to get her back and it’s pretty hard to find another one like her”, Hyorin said.

“Hoya, when she made your parents came, when she made your dad’s heart change, she did that because she wanted to make sure you’ll be happy after she left, you’ll be happy without her”, Hyorin added.

“But my happiness won’t be complete without her”.

***

(Narrator’s POV)

It’s been 5 months. Hoya was so frustrated and sad. He can’t call you, text you, even if he left a message for you on your twitter or facebook, you won’t reply. He only knows how’s your doing from s and your friends. Even Infinite’s members, except L, Woohyun and Sungjong just have a short time to communicate with you.

“Hyung, you haven’t sleep yet?”, Sungjong asked from the upper bunk.

“Hmm no, why?”, Hoya asked.

“What are you doing?”, Sungjong asked him.

“Nothing”, Hoya said.

“Thinking about her?”, Sungjong asked again.

“I always think about her”, Hoya said.

“Hyung, let’s talk. Please tell me honestly, what do you feel after she left?”, Sungjong asked.

“You asking me that? Sungjong, I feel sad, angry, guilty, and regret. I felt angry to myself that I can’t tell her from the beginning about my feelings!”, Hoya said.

“Then….what the side effects after she left, to you?”, Sungjong asked.

“I realize that I needed her now, more than I thought”, Hoya paused. “When she left, I felt like I fell and I can’t get up anymore, I’ve been drowning in a deep hurt, and now, whenever I felt so down, lost, lonely and tired, I can’t find my way back.

Before I met her, I always put myself in an extreme dance practice, but after I met her, all I need is saw her smiling and talked to her. Even she’s just pat my back telling it’s alright and not giving solutions, I believe her, I can gain my spirit again. And now she left…the difference between practicing so hard and seeing her is so far”, Hoya said again.

“Hyung, I’m sorry. For not telling you that she loves you”, Sungjong said.

“No, it’s not your fault, it’s mine. Now I know that I should be the one who realized about it first, because I was close to her”, Hoya said.

“So…..what are you going to do now?”, Sungjong asked.

Hoya smiled from the lower bunk, a sad smile. “Waiting”, he said. “And praying she won’t forget her feelings for me”.

***

You were busy sticking and cropping photos and papers. You were making a scrap book, a journal about when you was in Korea. You made it very detail from the first time you knew about the Kpop World Festival until you left.

You traced your fingers on the photos of Hoya. Hoya was so handsome and cute in the photo. You smiled to yourself and closed your eyes. You held the photo thightly.

“Please God, please, please help me to heal, please help me to forget these feelings, this is so hard, this is too hurt”, you said.

***

Short chapter, i know. But soon i'll have my holiday for 2 weeks and i promised i'll update fast! Thank you for subscribing and commenting :) I'm really glad to knoe you love my story <3