Review for redocean- // Reviewed by: pilsuk123

Title and Story link:  

away from the shadows, destroyed by the light (Completed, one-shot)

Title: (18/20)

I've never been a fan of long titles, especially THIS long but I have to say that it's a perfect fitting of a title for the story. Everything just clicks in place about the title and the story plot, I can fully understand why you choose to go with this title. Also, it gives off an angst and artistic also unique feel about the title that just draws me in completely. I'm so fazed at the beauty of the title and it's clever way of rephrasing it. The only thing that I mentiond was because it's a really long tittle and it's not capitalized but it doesn't have to matter here. Lovely title I'll say. 

Overall Appearance: (5/5)

Can I give you 10 points out of 5 because I loved how you arrange and styled everything? I would if I could! Even from the f/d page to the chapter, everything is just so freaking beautiful and simple and I have nothing else to say. The way you phrase some scene with that being very far apart and sometimes to the very right or to the very left alignment works so well with the story and it conveyed and expressed the exact feelings every single time! Eg.

Oh .

            Oh no.

No.

                                    No.

                                                No!

Description and Foreword: (18/20)

I actually have no problem with the d/f content, it's just about opinions - I don't really agree getting snippets from the story to be placed as the story's description. I loved both of the description and foreword that you choose to go with but I happened to like the foreword more because it relate more to the story and also it's nothing similar to what you had in the chapter itself. The description might not be a copy-paste from the chapter but it's very similar, it feels repetitive when you read both the story and d/f in one sitting.

The foreword was just beautiful, it's summarizes enough for readers to want to know more but it's not too much to give all of the surprises away. Again, this page is stunning and nicely done!

Plot: (27/30)

I thought it'll be good to really clarify if Krystal is indeed responsible for the fire that caused her to be traumatic all her life. I just thought that the part was missing and questions keep coming to my head about the plot. 'So, did she caused the fire or not?' questions. I feel that it'll add another surprise for that part that Krystal turns out to be the caused of it and Kai realized it and it brings the story into a whole new insanity.

Otherwise, I find the whole story to be extremely good despite the elements you have in the story are all pretty much overused - Guilt swallowing oc, oc's loved ones suffered because of it and tragic ending. I loved how you brought up the traumatic incident so naturally into the scene, that part about having to eat out and the chef showing off his moves with those fire trick and how you described that scene. My heart literally stopped beating and I can definitely see the whole scene in front of me(That's how good your descriptive writings is)!

Also, I find the ending to be extremely satisfying and ideal for a angst story. How can you live knowing that you've failed to save your own love ones who has been by your side the whole time? The guilt itself will force you to go crazy if not drive you to your own death. I think it's a non-exaggerated ending and it's actually more impactful that way because from the story, Kai loves/lives for Krystal. If he didn't jump, I would've find the whole story and their relationship kind of fake so two thumbs-up for the ending idea.

Originality: (18/20)

As I've mentioned, the base of your story may not be the most creative or unique or special plot ideas but you've added in more than enough surprises in a short one-shot that made the whole story special and definitely memorable. Such as: Sulli's surprise appearance in the story that reveals the story's biggest plot twist, the plot twist of Krystal being dead but Kai couldn't accept/realize it, songs used in the story that was appropriate, character's traits and personalty was fully understood (Krystal love for meat, Kai and dancing) and so many more that I can lists down.

Language: (20/20)

There's just nothing for me to add in here because your language was so powerful and it's so carefully written/proofread that I cannot find anything to point out here. (Except for one below, there's a typo about costumers because it definitely doesn't make much sense, I think you're either thinking of customers or consumers in the restaurant.)

-Despite the loud cheering and the blinding flash from the cameras of the other costumers, there was a moment of tense silence between Krystal and Kai. 

(Despite the loud cheering and the blinding flash from the cameras of the other customers/consumers, there was a moment of tense silence between Krystal and Kai.)

Writing Style: (20/20)

This has to be your strongest point in the story because the writing style is just so captivating and wonderful and divine and unique and (I've ran out of words to describe)... yeah. I mean everything was on point and you delivered every single scene so freaking well. You never forget to add the character's feelings or describe the environment and it just made reading it much more effective. I also liked how you break some sentences up into many, many sentences because that's the exact way I'm reading it in my head. Your writing style has quickly becoming one of my favorite of all time, it's THAT good. 

Characterization: (26/30)

As for the characterization part, I think you delivered it well because now whenever I watched Krystal or Kai or Krystal red hair or red tape film, I'll think of this story IMMEDIATELY because it has that much of an effect on me and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I think you've built both of the characters too well despite it being a one-shot and it's not a freaking long one-shot, it's just an ideal one-shot yet you did so damn well. Although this is only my second or third story I've read about Kaistal, I think the connections you wrote about them here felt so surreal. I've never shipped them both together or taught they suit each other but I think now I'm fully convinced. They have good connection with each other here and I'm can just easily visualize them together in here with each other but I think you can work more on filling out information about them individually. For eg, I mentioned that it'll be nice to clear the incident about whether did krystal caused the fire or not (even though I think she did somehow lol my twisted mind) or about how they meet each other, krystal job etc. To summarize, I think you did a fantastic job with building the connection between the two characters in here but I think you can focus on each other's chacter development and information as well. 

Flow: (25/30)

The flow of the story was very close to ideal because it's paced moderately without feeling like it's a drag or a rush so that's good. The point I want to bring across here is about the dating sections of the story, for me, it's a distraction to the story's flow rather than making it better. I think you should only have parts of the story separated or having dates written only when it's about a fast forward in time or a skip in time frame because I kept checking back and forth realizing that there's nothing skipped and some even happened on the same day just without different timing. Otherwise, I think you have a good pace for the story and even though I would've begged for a longer one-shot (it may or may not dragged the story), I think the length you have now is ideal. 

Reader's Scope/ Overall Enjoyment (5/5)

Enjoyed this a lot that I can't help upvoting and subscribing because the story and you deserves it! I loved every single moment I had with the story and I liked how you achieve all the target themes of the story: angst and psychological. Also, if ONLY I didn't check on the comments or about the plot twist of Krystal, I think I would've bawled my eyes out but I definitely have the goosebumps while reading this. Creepily good!

Bonus (+5)

For all the effort you put in to write the story and also for that haunting plot twist + heat wrenching but satisfying ending

Final Score/ Total (187/200) = 93.5%

A/N:

Sorry this took me so long! I was down with throat infection/virus and I had so much to handle for school but I hope you'll find the review helpful or enjoy reading it? I don't know! Sorry once again and thank you so much for waiting patiently, hope it's worth it ^^

This story will be featured as a weekly recommended story!

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