Review for R3G1N3 // Reviewed by: Fantascape

Title and Story link:  

Turned Tables (On-going, reviewed with 22 chapters)

Title: (20/20)

The title was quite fitting in regards to the story itself! The process of 'turning tables' is a pretty common English idiom, so I was able to identify with it easily. Upon reading the description/foreword, I knew exactly how it would be applied to the story. In this case, the two main characters- Sumin and Kris- are turning the tables on their cheating spouses. It's a simple title as opposed to something like "We're Turning the Tables" or whatever, so it's slightly more memorable. The fact that you placed it in past context also solidifies the fic. It gives it this 'finality' that makes the reader realize that the act either already has been committed or will very soon be done. There's no hesitance- no opening for a different turnabout. It's a straightforward title that does the fic its justice.     

Overall Appearance: (5/5) 

The poster was admittedly very simple... You cast the images of both Kris and Sumin in a faded filter that gives the theme an ethereal quality. They were also set against a white backdrop and donned in (mostly) white clothing. It's elegant and has this slightly airy feel, but it's also very underwhelming. You could have done with a floral background if you wanted, or even the addition of other faces. I also found the random placement of Sumin's flower to be a bit awkward (after all, it's practically sticking her in the eye), but that's something you can't really help. You kept the simplicity in the rest of the formatting as well. From just a glance, the font seems to be in Lucida Grande or Times New Roman, and the only decorative aspect is the pair of diamonds that 'bookend' the "Characters" section. I usually get onto writers for making their foreword look too showy, but I can't really complain for a lack of that. It just serves to hone more focus in on the story. You did a swell job emphasizing my point that less can easily be more.

Description and Foreword: (13/20)

 Okay, so for lack of a better word, the description is long. It's a pretty lengthy bit of words that, not only fortells the story, but also digs a bit deeper than it necessarily needs to. In all honesty, you don't need anything after that first paragraph. We don't need to know where Sumin and Kris are when they first make their discovery. We don't need to see the twists that will inevitably come just yet. And we don't need to know the ending, that they'll indeed "stick together". I liked the pondering question at the end, but everything in the middle sort of cut off the suspense. Basically, this description was like how SM first 'teased' EXO by introducing like 20-something videos... It gave so much without really needing to. Be like Sumin when she first modeled and just 'tease' your readers a bit. Entice them with promises of the best, but withhold at the last second. Leave us wanting more with less.

Though the trailer was in the description, I'll describe my thoughts on it here. I always suggest to writers, that it's best to make a trailer less than one minute. Think about it, a trailer basically states everything you say in the description or foreword. If it gives away much else, it's borderline revealing. So with that, the only thing keeping a reader from the actual story is this video that they may or may not have to buffer or load. Asking for thirty seconds of a preview that they already know about is already pushing it a bit. One minute should be a good cut-off point, because they truly already get the gist of what they're to expect. I also found that the trailer was a tad bit bland. The music you chose was fitting and it highlighted the angst/drama beautifully. But flashes of gray pictures of the same two people can lose their 'potency' after a while...

The foreword has a lovely structure. Much like everything else, it's simple and not too flashy as to draw the wrong attention. However, I think you could have done without the ample information you gave on each character. Character bios are a tricky thing to pull off, considering so many writers tend to give way too much in them. We don't need to know where they work if you're going to introduce it in the story- which you did, quite a few times. We don't need to really know their personalities since you've portrayed them rather well. All you really need is a name and a face. If you want to add more, you can put small, random tidbits about each character that won't really be portrayed too much in the story. Plus, you don't really have to make these tidbits into complete sentences... You can bulletpoint it or put them into lists... Whatever you may think of!

Plot: (25/30)

So basically, the plot revolves around two individuals who find solace in one another after realizing that their spouses were cheating on them. This solace turns into dependence that threatens to ruin their relationship with their spouses and tear their lives apart. Overall the plot is quite interesting. It's not very often that people want to delve into a cheating relationship in which the two people are married. Often, it happens when the characters are young and dating, so they're quite malleable. Here, Kris and Sumin have lives and jobs. Their marriages frame the structures they've so meticulously set up for themselves, so the threat is far greater. Even so, I'd be lying if I said that I've never seen this situation before. I guess, it's convenient for the writer to keep the relationship web small- but there are quite a few stories in which the 'adulteree' finds comfort in the spouse of the other 'adulterer'. It wasn't very surprising, but basically it was well-written enough to score highly.

This is the type of fic that could have easily been much shorter. You could have made it so that the two characters fall for each other instantly at the hands of their kinship, and that'd be it... But you extended it with plot-twists and bits of depth, so for that I'm grateful. Stories like what I just explained seem so shallow and unbelievable... This one eases along well and provides enough conflict to match the situations presented. Regardless, I found some of the twists to be a bit cliche or cheesy. The discovery of Sumin's messages by Kai was one of these cheesy twists, but I guess it served to add a 'danger' factor. The fact that Sumin and Kris almost slept together was something we could see coming a mile away, and it only made sense that this first time was due to alcohol... The twist with Yunho was nothing I could have foreseen, and yet I'm not really sure how necessary it was. I'm not sure if you introduced their technical- as the catalyst to spur Sumin into Kai's arms, but I feel it could have been used a bit better. This isn't the story with room for such immense surprises. It's already focusing so heavily on adultery, but then this issue is introduced so late in the game once things have quieted down. It stood out to me, but not in a good way... Basically, it screamed "I'm running out of ideas" or perhaps "I have so many ideas that I want to just cram one or two more into this".

Again, nothing's wrong with making your characters have baggage. It gives them depth and makes their humanity more relatable. I guess there's just a time and place to introduce these things... I sort of wish you made that situation a bit more 'traumatic' for Sumin, like it would be for anyone else. I wish you'd have provided some underlying effect on her psyche throughout the fic, such as her hesitance to be before men or bits of reluctance during . It could be anything actually! But I was surprised that someone like her had gone through much other than her situation with her husband. That's not to say that she can't be strong and move on... But I guess I was looking for subtle hints in her overall character that were dropped before learning about the Yunho-situation. I guess I was waiting for that "Oh! That makes sense, now..." moment.

Originality: (17/20)

As I said in the "Plot" section, this set-up has been duplicated before. However, I love the intensity you draw into it. What separates "Turned Tables" from every other 'cheaters' fic out there are few but very effective. For one thing, these couples are married, which brings a heavier weight on the already-hefty toll of adultery. It severs the promises of forever and digs much deeper than it would if the two were only young lovers in high school. Love is love on all accounts, but there's something all the more burdening when it's tacked with a marriage license. The second thing is the fact that this fic is so long... Yes, the length of this story is legit what stood out the most to me. Most people tend to shorten their fics and avoid digging too much into their characters. However, in fics like this that revolve around angst and drama, the feeling must be captured most by detail and detail sometimes leads to length. You portrayed the situations rather well and took the time to draw in on their everyday lives. I admire that in a writer, and I found this incredibly refreshing whilst I read your fic! Really though, you can teach others a thing or two on the value of chaptered fics. 

Language: (18/20)

Your spelling and grammar are overall pretty impressive, especially considering this site. I caught a few technical errors, but none of those were constant enough for me to really categorize. Also, your fic isn't allowing text-selection, so I can't provide for you any examples... A simple beta-reader could help, but the errors are pretty few and far in between. I only caught them because of how picky I am with that stuff. I'd only suggest reading the fic aloud to yourself next time to catch a few awkward phrasings. Of course, we're all subject to a few typos, as I'm sure you'll find quite a few in this review. Your syntax was decent, but never be afraid to mix it up a bit. Add some variety to your sentence structure. If you've got a bunch of longer sentences strewn together, the abruptness of a shorter, terse one will be enhanced. 

Writing Style: (20/20)

I can't help but gush a bit over your writing style. These days, it seems like I have to drag the details out of fics... It's almost irritating to come across so many stories that have such massive potential, but fall short in the end all because of one thing- they couldn't paint a picture. I know that bringing arts and crafts into this is weird, but hear me out. I labeled myself as AFF's infamous "detail " and I truly meant it. The ability to cast the scene to me is everything. Words are meaningless if the reader gets nothing from them... I love to read fics and depict it as if it were a silent movie playing out in my head. If I can't tell how the characters look or where they even are, the movie's effect lessens. It also helps that you so very well portrayed the feelings of these characters. I've seen moments where writers rely too much on pictures in the forewords to depict their appearance and on dialogue to portray their personality. It shows that the writer still has so much growing room in terms of developing a truly 'developed' story. Yours was wonderfully played out and laid out in a way that I could easily follow. Would I have like a bit more detail? ALWAYS. But overall, you didn't stop short of providing such intensity with your diction... You played out the tiniest scenes quite well, and for that I appaud you.

Characterization: (24/30)

The story basically focuses on two characters, and adds a bit of placement on two others. I'll start by analyzing your two side characters:

Kai was portrayed exactly as I thought he'd be. He's cocky and sensual, and he exudes a dominance that befits a cheater like him. I'll admit, it's almost a bit overdone... I found his character to be confusing, though. He seems to want control and he doesn't strike me as the type who takes losing. Basically, it makes sense that he wants Sumin to continue to want him, even though he's straying from her. It's that mentality that makes him intriguing. He's clearly in the wrong, yet he finds the means to turn the tables (ha!) on her and call blasphemy when he accuses her of being unfaithful. It's irritating, and I'm still waiting for the day in which he's been thoroughly put in his place... 

Sora's an easy character to analyze, because she's barely even there. She's mentioned and thought about far more than she's actually present. And when she is there, she's portrayed as such an unlikeable little thing. She's clearly named (a suspiciously Japanese name) as Sumin's good friend, and yet she has the gall to cheat with said friend's husband. What's worse is she even continues to pretend to be so close to Sumin, all the while as she lies to her and betrays her. That alone, is pretty despicable. But what grated on my nerves was her shallow, cliche 'shopaholic, spoiled, city girl' persona. Lord, I couldn't stand her.

Basically, I didn't see a single thing that was redeemable about either of these characters... Kris only wanted Sora because she was the 'first' one, and Sumin only stays with Kai for his body (and her fragile hope for love)? Ugh. I'd have liked to see a bit of some good qualities in both of these two to make them more well-rounded. You've defined which characters are 'black' and which are 'white', which are 'good' and which are 'evil'. It's so simplistic that it's almost a bit predictable... I'd have liked to see some goodness in Kai and Sora, after all humans are much more complex than we think. The same goes for Kris and Sumin... I wanted some flaws and some failures. I wanted a moment where I didn't have to feel like I should pity them. I wanted a moment of wrongness for them, instead of such intense victimizing. This doesn't have to be a story of merely 'villains' and 'heroes'. The best characters are always the ones with 'layers'. You have the capability of depth, so let's see you apply it towards your characterization.

Now for Kris and Sumin... I'll talk about these two in one paragraph because they seem easier to lump like that. Kris, basically, was almost fading into the background compared to Sumin. I understand that this is from her point of view, but he's in just as much of a rut as she is, correct? Yet, he focuses so much more on her problems than his. He's constantly begging to hear what's on her mind and be assured that she's alright. But the entire time I can't help but think to myself, "Umm... What about you?" I know that Sumin's supposed to be this character who doesn't talk about her feelings much, but her feelings are expressed more than anyone else's in that fic! Well... No, Kai's are actually, but that's beside the point. Kris is the one who's known for being stoic and poker-faced. Why wasn't she more concerned for him as he was for her? This is what makes me a bit wary whenever I read OC-based fics. You don't seem to be one of those authors who projects herself too much into her OC, so for that I'm grateful... But still, I'd hate for this fic to become so one-track. Kai cheats on Sumin, but he still wants her... Kris finds friendship in Sumin and begins to fall for her (quite quickly, might I add). Then, of course, there's big brother Yunho who apparently had a devious crush on her in their younger days. I just... I'm not very partial to plots in which everyone befriends/loves/sees the good in one particular character. Yours is heading in that direction, but it's not quite past that mark just yet. As for Sumin, herself, I like certain aspects about her as much as I dislike others. I love how you went for the destruction of innocence theme, in which she begins with this naive hope to salvage her marriage for the sake of love. But I didn't see a single reason as to why she should love Kai. Again, she clings to this man and his body, but really I didn't see the purpose of it. Then there was the moment where I feared she'd become a Mary-Sue. She's the "perfect" woman, as Kris describes her in, basically, every chapter. She's intelligent, kind, a good listener, and now she's even independent. Not to mention, she's the top of her designing company and a woman with enough beauty to outdo the models she designs for... So... What the heck is wrong? She's got all of this going for her, and yet I'm expected to believe that she has low self-esteem? All because her husband- who already seems like a massive jerk- cheated on her? Nah... Flaws are a wonderful thing to make use of.

I'll be honest, my favorite part of the story was when Sumin got wasted. Alcohol is said to be the social lubricant, and it worked wonders on her character. I was almost tired of this 'portrayal of perfection', that when she got plastered as badly as she did, it made her so much more relatable. I wanted to see her cry and let go as badly as Kris did- but not for the same reasons as his. I actually grew to like that side of her that she'd kept under wraps. Basically, she became human for me in that chapter. But just as quickly as it came was as quickly as it disappeared, the moment she forgave Kai just because he asked her to. I had a feeling you'd throw that in there, but I never imagined how much the scene would get to me. There was no questioning. He cried and she sighed...

That was the end of it.

There was no conflict or countering, nothing that any other woman would do. Even if it would eventually lead to her taking him back, I felt there should have been a bit more struggle. Of course he didn't learn his lesson! If she's going to come back anyway, why would he change his ways? Luckily, she realized that once he cheats, he always will... I was admittedly glad when the final straw of her innocence was drawn. It seemed only inevitable that she'd leave him, I just couldn't understand why she'd take so long. I also couldn't understand why she nor Kris have yet to reveal to their spouses that they've been aware of their 'escapades'. There were so many moments and arguments in which Sumin could have brought it up, but she didn't... I don't label that as being a better person. I feel like she missed opportunities of teaching her husband the value of morality.

Flow: (28/30)

 The story's overall flow was constant and easy to keep up with. I will say, though, that there were moments that I think could have been prolonged and elaborated on a bit more. I must say, your characters take punches rather well... You only describe the fight scenes (no matter how brief) as a thrown punch... I was waiting for a moment of reeling or grunting, anything to make it a bit more realistic. I know it seems like I'm scrutinizing too much. But really, who punches someone and continues to speak so calmly? On that same note, who gets punched and speaks with the same fluidity as before? Those moments needs to be rushed because action is fast-paced, but never forget to add a few key words of detail. You could also work to emphasize the drama in certain scenes, such as when Sumin reunites with Yunho for the first time in so long. You can still elaborate the tension of that scene without giving away just why she was so tense. In other words, there were moments of the fic that could have used the same depth that you gave for describing Sumin's feelings. Drama demands its own level of detail and portrayal.

Reader's Scope/ Overall Enjoyment: (4/5) 

I'll be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of heteroual love (mainly because the coupling tends to involve OCs). I'm biased against OCs, but that doesn't mean I'm completely against them. Your story utilized your OC well, considering the POV is her own. I still think the focus can serve to shift on other characters. I'm not very into romance/drama, because I feel like such a genre is already overused in the fanfic world. However, I will say that your writing style and knack for detail make up for that. Even if the story, itself, doesn't suit my tastes, I can easily admire a good writer when I see one.

Bonus (+2) 

These 2 bonus points are for the fact that you: A.) placed Ji Hye (the real Jung Yunho's sister) in the fic and yet claimed Sumin as his sibling (even if not by blood), B.) got me to read a story where the OC wasn't a complete Mary-Sue, and C.) added character development (THANK. THE. LORD) and even played upon Sumin's modeling scene as a sign of her growth (seriously, she's gaining a sense of self now). You gave me some things that not many authors really do these days... Just... Thank you!

Final Score/ Total (176/200) = 88%

A/N:

I will forever wait for the day where Kai and Sora are thoroughly put in their places Until then, "Let Me Love You" by Ne-Yo and "My Blood" by Ellie Goulding are in my playlist for this particular fic.

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