The manager hyung got me back in the dorm when I had calmed down before leaving for the office in a state of emergency with all of the other managers, but I hated myself for so long afterwards. I hated myself for not being brave enough to stop Minhyun from leaving that night, and I hated myself for treating him like I did. I hated myself for being the terrible sunbae that I wished I never would be. I could never get the guilt off of my chest, and it'll probably remain one of the biggest regrets ever.

I didn't sleep any more that night, and at 7:30am, I called for a breakfast delivery for the hyungs and paid for it. I had been banned from entering the kitchen after all, Minhyun obviously wasn't there to make breakfast, and Ryeowook had been complaining of a cold that he possibly had during practice last night, so I wanted him to get as much rest as possible. I saw no other option but to buy the breakfast.

When the breakfast arrived, I went around to each of the hyungs' rooms and started waking them up. Leeteuk was the first one to to come out into the living room, and when he saw the delivered breakfast, he frowned.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Did Minhyun burn the breakfast or something?"

The other members also came out of the rooms and seemed interested as well, and I saw some of them crane their necks to look for Minhyun. I wished the managers was still here at the dorm to explain, but the fact was that they weren't.

"Sunbaenim - " I started, but then stopped myself and took a deep breath to drive the guilt off my chest. "Sunbaenim, Minhyun hyung left the team last night."

There was a long silence as everyone just stared at me, then Leeteuk nodded.

"Okay. So that means you can go back to sleeping in your room starting tonight, and you and Ryeowook have to start doing the chores again."

I felt a chill down my spine. Was Leeteuk this heartless? He didn't even feel a bit of guilt?

Although I had half a mind to start yelling at him about it, I just bit my tongue and dropped my head in a tiny bow as he grabbed his breakfast and sat down in the living room to start eating. I half-heartedly grabbed my own breakfast and sat down, but I did nothing but simply play with the food. I thought I might have been the only person who was doing this, but around the living room, I saw everyone else doing the same, even Leeteuk. I never saw a single morsel of food enter anyone's mouth.

After a while of silence of us playing with the food, everyone, one-by-one, began getting up, mumbling things about getting ready for the day. The breakfast remained uneaten by anyone. Although I realized that I had just spent so much money on food that none of us ate, I barely even cared because of how much I hated myself. When I had stepped into the living room after getting ready, the manager hyung had returned to the dorm, and everyone was standing around him.

"So you know that Minhyun left," he said. Everyone mumbled assent, and he sighed. "Well, we're still in talks about what's going to happen. So as of right now, we're having you practice what you've been practicing all along, and we'll let you know as soon as we can," said the manager hyung. We nodded, and we each left the dorm to get on the bus. I was last to leave, and as I was putting my shoes on, the manager hyung tapped me on the shoulder. I turned my body around to face him, but I was too ashamed to look up. The manager hyung looked at me for a while, then put his hands on my shoulders.

"Hey, it wasn't really your fault," he said.

"If I'd opened up to him when you told me to..." I sighed. "I might have ruined his career, hyung."

"It was his choice."

"I influenced his choice," I said, covering my face with my hands.

"Hey, right now, your career is just as important," he said mildly. I frowned. What was he talking about? "When you get the news and you have the meeting with the team, I want you to be aggressive and grab all the chances you can, okay?"

"Hyung, what are you talking - "

"Just keep that in mind," he said, then he guided the thoroughly confused me out of the dorm with his hand on my shoulder.

The practice was possibly the most serious one we've ever had. We never spoke except to correct each other on the choreograhy, and even then, only the most necessary words went back and forth between the members. A few hours into practice though, the manager hyung came into the room with a few company representatives.

"Okay, stop practicing," he said, waving his arms. Everyone stopped moving and wiped the sweat off their foreheads as I hurriedly rushed to the speakers to stop the music.

"We've come to a decision," said one of the representatives. We looked at him. "The reason why we wanted the second album so soon is that we don't want the public to forget you. We want your popularity not to die down. But seeing as Heechul is still in the hospital and, well, the Minhyun situation didn't work out," - I looked at my feet - "we've come up with a solution." All of us looked at him with interest. "Since a full comeback will not be welcomed without the thirteen of you, we thought of implementing an idea that has been kicking around the board room for a while. We are talking about establishing different sub-units, so that you are always on stage, and never forgotten."

And then he explained to us what a sub-unit was, and everything made sense. It was even... genius. It made sense. Although not all of us were on stage, as long as just some of us were, the public was still hearing the name "Super Junior" on stage all the time.

"So as I'm sure you know, your singing abilities have been getting doubts from the public." We nodded. As painful as it was, it was still the truth. This was the drawback to being in a dance group. "So the first sub-group will consist of, we think, three members that have extreme vocal prowess who would sing ballads. We nominate Yesung, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun, but if anyone else feels strongly about this, one of you could possibly replace Kyuhyun."

My heart pounded in my chest.

Oh my god. This was what I'd been waiting for.

This was what I wanted when I entered SM.

This could be my break.

I had never wanted anything more in my entire life.

"So talk about it, and give us your final verdict," said the representative. "The second thing is that you were offered a radio program by KBS."

I saw several eyebrows go up. "As guests, or as - "

"No, the entire thing would be yours to run. They'd like to call the program 'Super Junior's Kiss the Radio'," said the representative. "They're asking for two DJs. They want one of those DJs to be Leeteuk, but the second one is up to you guys. As long as you feel confident and you can speak well, we don't care much who does it."

As we just stood there, dumbfounded, the representative smiled. "So you have a lot to talk about. Get to it," he said, then he left the room. The manager hyung looked at me meaningfully before leaving. So this was what he meant when he told me to be aggressive this morning. I gave him a small nod of reassurance.
He didn't need to tell me to be aggressive. I was going to be anyway.

I wanted this so badly.

We sat down in a large circle on the floor of the practice room, just eyeing each other. It felt like we were twelve lions looking at each other before charging for the one piece of meat.

"Well, if we're not in this sub-unit, we'll be in the next one, I think that's what they were implying," reminded Leeteuk carefully.

I wet my dry lips.

There was another silence, and I spoke without even knowing it.

"I really want to do this."

I saw a few hyungs look up at me.

"I'm confident that I can do well."

Leeteuk looked at me and nodded, but didn't say anything.

Then, to my surprise, Sungmin also spoke. "I think it's an awesome opportunity as a musician," he said seriously. "I want to do this too."

"To be honest, me too," said Kangin.

I bit my lip. Although I knew it wouldn't happen, I had hoped that no one else would want it. The atmosphere stiffened significantly, and there was a silence so uncomfortable that I thought I would be able to cut it with a knife.

"It's what everyone kind of dreams about as a vocalist," said Yesung cautiously.

"Not me," muttered Eunhyuk, breaking the heavy atmosphere. There were a few laughs.

"You're not exactly a vocalist," said Leeteuk with a wide smile.

Eunhyuk opened his mouth to retort, then Donghae laughed.

"Saying you're a vocalist is like saying Kyuhyun is a dancer."

There were a few more laughs and a nervous smile escaped even me.

"Okay, so back to this - " said Leeteuk.

I eyed Kangin carefully; he was the oldest hyung, and he had the upper hand. "This was something I've always wanted," said Kangin.

"Me too. This type of thing is why I entered the business in the first place," I said. I had never asserted such a strong opinion before because I didn't want to seem rude, but this was an opportunity that I just couldn't pass up.

"I can do well with this," said Kangin, confidence oozing out of him like it always did.

"But hyung, you're always in the public eye because you're so good at variety shows," I said bravely. "I'm not good at anything we've done yet. This - this could be the first thing."

"That sort of goes for me as well," said Sungmin quietly.

"You can dance, hyung," I said with a tiny sigh.

"If you practice, you'll be able to dance, too," retorted Sungmin.

I raised my eyebrows. "Hyung, are you saying that because you don't know how hard I practice the dances?"

"If you can't do it, practice more," said Kangin, then after this, we raised our voices and things blew into a full-out argument.

I couldn't believe that I was arguing with the team, but - but I was. And amazingly, they never once threatened me with a beating, and they never once used the 'I'm the hyung' card. After almost ten minutes of heated arguing about who would get the third spot in the sub-unit and just as hurtful words started going back and forth, Leeteuk raised his hands.

"Okay, enough," he said quietly. And all of us fell silent.

"So what I'm hearing has to do with what each of you wants," said Leeteuk. He then let out a long breath as if what he was about to say was going to be difficult to express. "But guys, we're being selfish. We should not be thinking about what we want individually, but what's best for the team. Especially me, as a leader." Leeteuk then sighed. "I learned that the hard way today."

There was another silence.

I guessed he felt guilty about the Minhyun incident after all.

"So guys. To be fair, we should not be picking the third person based on who wants it most, but based on who's the best singer," continued Leeteuk. He then looked at the three of us in turn. "And completely objectively, Kyuhyun is obviously the best singer out of the three of you."

My mouth dropped open. Did Leeteuk just say that I should get the spot over Sungmin and Kangin? Kangin? One of his closest dongsaengs?

"I mean - that's true." I turned my head to look at who was talking; Donghae was nodding. "As a third person... Kyuhyun is the best singer out of the three of you."

"But we should also be thinking about who would sound best with Jongwoon hyung and Ryeowook," said Sungmin, starting to look frustrated.

I heard several "That's true"s around the circle, and I felt a panic come over me. I almost had this. I even had Leeteuk's approval. I had to go for it.

"But the two of them sound really different as they are," I said quickly. "Honestly speaking, we could use the three of us sounding entirely different from each other to our advantage."

There was another very long silence, then I saw Kangin nodding slowly.

"Okay. I can give it up for the team. Kyuhyun's right. I'm good on variety shows, and I'm busy as it is."

I breath of relief escaped as hope filled my chest. I looked at Sungmin, but he didn't seem to want to give it up as easily. As everyone looked at Sungmin, he cocked his head uncertainly.

"I don't know," he sighed.

Then I saw Ryeowook slowly lift his head to speak. "Well, if we were to be completely fair, Kyuhyun's a better singer than... than me."
I looked at him in surprise. It must have taken him a lot to say that - our singing styles were so different that it was difficult to compare our singing ability. And honestly speaking, I didn't believe it. Ryeowook was a fabulous singer, and I would never in a million years have thought that I was a better singer than Ryeowook.

"That's not true," I said quietly, shaking my head.

"It is. One of the reasons why I took such good care of Kyuhyun when he was a trainee was because he was such a good singer and I thought I could learn from him," said Ryeowook. I looked at him appreciatively. That must not have been easy to say, either.

"Sungmin?" asked Leeteuk quietly.

Sungmin covered his eyes with his hands for a second. And I understood. This was an opportunity that might never come again. There was a silence for a few seconds, then Sungmin nodded. "Okay," he whispered. "I'm okay with Kyuhyun doing it."

A rush of happiness flooded over me that I hadn't felt in a long time, but I had to keep myself from smiling.

"Thank you," I whispered to Sungmin. Sungmin nodded without looking at me. I bit my lip. Sungmin was one of the hyungs that I relied on the most, and I didn't want him angry at me, so I looked at him. "Hyung, are - are there hard feelings?" I asked timidly.

He was obviously disappointed, but he looked at me and smiled weakly. "No. No hard feelings. You're the best choice. That's why they wanted you in the unit in the board room."

As I smiled back appreciatively, Leeteuk nodded. "Okay, so that's taken care of," he said, and I felt like my heart was soaring across the sky.

"And as for the DJ issue, I hope you three are okay if we take you out of the running," said Leeteuk, looking at me, Yesung and Ryeowook.

We agreed with nods, and the three of us stayed silent throughout the entire thing.

After much pushing and pulling with words, they had decided to start with Eunhyuk as the other DJ, then switch to a different member should he not perform up to standards, but Eunhyuk looked completely confident with himself.

"So I'm going to pass down what we talked about to the managers," said Leeteuk, and we nodded. "As a final confirmation, the three members in that vocal sub-unit will be Yesung, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun, and the DJs for the radio show will be Eunhyuk and me. Is that completely right?" he confirmed. As we all nodded our assent, Leeteuk nodded a final time and left the practice room.

I was afraid of a retribution of sorts from Kangin and Sungmin, but Kangin just laughed. "I'm jealous of the three of you," he said with a smile, lying down on the floor and looking at the ceiling.

I looked at Sungmin, who was still sitting wordlessly, sullen faced. "Hyung, are you - are you really okay with this?" I asked carefully.

Sungmin forced another smile and nodded. "Don't worry about me. And don't ask that again."

As I opened my mouth to apologize, Kangin spoke from where he was, still lying down.

"By the way, you two realize that the entrance exams are in less than three months, right? Can you handle it?" asked Kangin.

Ryeowook and I looked at each other. Ryeowook nodded right away.

"Yeah, well, I don't have to do that well."

I wasn't as confident, but I nodded too. If there was a single thing that I wanted more than a shot at a good university, it would be this. And this didn't mean that I had to give up on school. I was sure I could balance both. I'd been doing that since forever.

"Yeah," I said with a nod. "I can give up anything for this."

Then I buried my face in my knees, and finally let out that wide smile that I didn't want to show the team.

*Author's note: Oh by the way, I just finished the alternate scenes, as well, if you didn't finish reading it :)